posts.json

[
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 1,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA - Getting Hugged At The Bar",
    "body": " \n\nThis all happened less than an hour ago.\n\nI was at a bar I frequent and talking to some people I know, suddenly I feel someone from behind me hugging and starting to grind against me. I know a lot of people at the bar, and assume it's a friend of mine, but when I look down at the shoes I do not recognize them. I look back and I see a dude I do not know, nor have I ever seen. He looks back at me, with horror in his eyes, because I'm a dude too... I feel an urge of rage inside me and shove him in the chest with my elbow so I can get away.\n\nHe goes to his table and I go back to mine. I was with my roommate and his girlfriend. They asked what happened and I told them, then I see the guy who hugged me looking around for me. Him and two of his friends come up to us and he says:  \n\"I just wanted to apologize, I thought you were someone else.\"\n\nI respond, \"I understand, just check before you hug people. Now, please fuck off\"\n\nHe repeats his last statement, so do I. This happens one more time and at this point his friends have surrounded me, my roommate is on his feet and I have left my beer at the table. His friend goes in my face and says.  \n\"He just wanted to apologize, you really shouldn't be yelling at us\" and starts waiving his finger at me.\n\nWe are at a rock bar, it's loud, I was speaking louder just to be sure I am heard.\n\nThe manager knows me so he comes asking me what happened. I explain the situation and he speaks with them then he tells me.  \n\"They want to say sorry, can you guys shake hand?\"\n\n\"Yeah sure, I just want them to leave me alone.\"  \nHonestly I didn't even want to touch the guy, but whatever. We shake hands and they go away.\n\nMe and my roommate look at their table and there's no one that looks anything like me. So, reddit, did I overreact? Am I The Asshole here?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 2,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA if i don't want to pay my friend 5 dollars for a slice of pizza",
    "body": "So, my friend bought herself, our other friend and I a pizza to eat for lunch. Me and other friend ate 1 slice of pizza from an extra large pizza. Other friend has already paid my friend that bought the pizza 5 dollars.\n\nI am trying to save money wherever i can, but she really wants me to pay her 5 dollars \"so its fair\".\n\nAITA?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 3,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For going to 'expensive' restaurants in sweatpants and a shitty t-shirt?",
    "body": "It's in Seattle if that matters. It seems people are a lot more casual here.\n\nI was eating at a steakhouse I like and there was a family there who were there for like an anniversary or wedding or something. Bunch of people all dressed up obviously big get to do. \n\nI didn't think much about it at the time but I was talking to some people online and they said that you have like a basic responsibility to dress up at least a little at these places. The atmosphere is a big part of the experience and that I'm kind of ruining that. Also that it shows lack of 'respect' for people around me.\n\nAITA?\n\n\n\nI totally don't get why people care about the atmosphere (I'm there for the food) but if they care and I'm not respecting that...I'm the asshole.\n\nI'll be ordering my food ahead of time and leaving with it from now on. ",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 4,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for wanting \"free gas\", due to an attendant's error",
    "body": "I was with my dad and driving the family car when I went to a gas station. I asked for $20 of 91. The attendant even repeated my request, and I said \"Yes, $20 91\". I paid cash, and the attendant went into the station to deal with the transaction. When he came out, I noticed he was putting the 89 gas nozzle into my car instead. I immediately tried to tell him that I paid for 91, but he wasn't paying attention. I yelled a bit louder and another employee (who looks like the manager) pulled the nozzle out. By that time, about $5 (give or take) of 89 had been pumped into the car. The manager went into the station to deal with the error, and started pumping 91. When it was finished, I was surprised I only got \\~$15 of 91. I told the manager, \"I wanted $20 of 91\", and he said, \"You paid for $20 of gas, and you got $20 of gas\". I said, \"But I didn't ask for 89. Your employee was the one who gave me something I didn't want. Why should I pay for someone else's mistake?\" We kept arguing back and forth for a minute or so, until my dad said let's go, since it was clear we were getting nowhere. AITA for wanting that $5 of 91, even though I did in fact get $20 worth of gas?\n\nEdited: for formatting\n\nEdit 2: I guess I should've noted that no one apologized for putting in the wrong gas, and the manager was very dismissive. It might not seem like a big deal to you, but my dad is the one who likes 91, and dislikes mixing different octane grade gas in the tank. Yes, employees are humans who make mistakes, and what's done is done, so I would've taken either an apology or $5 of 91.\n\nEdit 3: When I say argue, it's not like I yelled at the guy. We were just talking back and forth to each other sternly.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 5,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA I asked my dad to replace the fuel that he used and he snapped at me",
    "body": "Am I the asshole for asking my dad to replace the fuel that he used?  \n\n​\n\nalright my dad has a bad temper. That's always been the case. He's known for beating up his siblings when they were kids. Now, my mom got pregnant and married him anyway because that's just how it is in our culture (this fucking drives me nuts everytime). \n\n​\n\nLast year, my mom got a new little starlet so that I could use it to pick her up from work everyday. She's too afraid to drive, so I obliged. I loved that car. It was so efficient, and I only spent $40 a week on fuel (I never had to ask my mom to pay for fuel). This year, my dad decided to show off to the boyz at work and sold the starlet. He got a nissan bluebird instead. Bear in mind that he already had 2 cars on finance (a bmw x3 and a mazda premacy) before getting the bluebird, which is also still on finance, btw. They all have big engines (at least 2.0). My mum and he had a deal that he's not allowed to use the bluebird to work. He's a really bad driver and he's already ruined the premacy. He never uses the BMW, he only uses it when there's a family gathering to fcking show off to our family friends and well family. \n\nSo I've been using the bluebird for a while now, and now the fuel expenses on that car goes up to $80 so my mom also pays for the fuel. Heck, sometimes I even have to tell her 3 times that I need fuel money to pick her up. I pay my part of it, but I'm nothing but a poor uni student who depends on my part-time job pay. I only get $200 a week, but I have other expenses and I'm saving out to move out of this fucking shithole. \n\n​\n\nToday, he did not go to work and while I was making breakfast for myself (I am a bit of a health freak and I'm doing my best to get my shit together), I saw him take off using the bluebird. I just filled up the tank yesterday, and knowing him, he won't replace the fuel he used because he's fucking selfish but I tried anyway. I texted him, \"dad, could u pls replace the fuel that you'll be using today? I'm saving up for something. thnks.\" \n\nHe snapped real quick and called me and told me how he pays for it every week and all that. Now I'm looking up bikes online (which I should have done ages ago, btw), so that I won't have to deal with their shit anymore. \n\nI feel like I'm the only mature person in this house, tbh. They are both extremely inefficient and they make bad decisions all the time. They were also extremely abusive when I was a kid, so there's that too. The funny thing is that they talk shit about each other to us, their kids. I just can't anymore, tbh.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 6,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for telling my friend to not leave or use NO2(whippets) in the car before they drive?",
    "body": "I have a friend who we recently went on a drive with and we made a quick stop to grab some groceries when we came back she grabbed a whipped cream canister and charger and did a whippet before waiting a few minutes to drive. I didn't say anything as its a new friend but I find this behavior very irresponsible even if the effect wears off in a minute and the person is good to drive. having a canister and a bunch of opened and unopened chargers under your seat   \n\n\nI talked to a closer friend of ours that you should help me explain how this is not only dangerous, but it can ruin your career, reputation, owning a license. Our friend said it wasn't a big deal as its all legal products. you can buy at a store.  \n\n\nI disagree completely and consider this substance abuse and impaired driving to an extent.  \n\n\nWITBA for telling her to telling her not to use or leave this in the car, or is it considered fine because its not illegal to purchase.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 7,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I resign right before bosses are out of the office for almost 2 weeks?",
    "body": "I work in a small office (less than 25 people).  Upon hire, I was informed the president of the company would be the person I report to.  His wife (who is the office administrator and company HR representative - which is an absolute joke, btw) was to be notified of vacation and sick days, etc.  About 4 months into the job, without notification, the wife assumed role of my manager.  First of all, she is not very knowledgeable about my exact position, and my role.  Second, she has a strong personality and is always correct.  It is her way or the highway.  Third, she is the type of person who often \"comes in hot\" on a topic and will escalate situations quickly, will raise her voice and even say inappropriate things.  During one of our interactions, she was getting frustrated as I was suggesting more detail to a project, while she was striving for \"efficiency\" - again, not fully understanding the scope of my work.  So she says to me \"Just because you don't understand what I'm saying doesn't make you a bad person\".  I kid you not.  First of all, I understood what she was saying, but her suggestions were not appropriate for the project (I later had 4 other people from the office -3 of the 4 were senior members of the team- who had overheard this exchange come into my office and offer support stating that this is just the way she is).  Since that interaction there have been several others where I have been belittled and bullied by my new manager aka the boss's wife.\n\nMy husband says it is affecting my life outside of work as I am often upset after work and my mood is often low because of the abuse I get on a daily basis.\n\n​\n\nI don't want to \"screw\" over my co-workers.  But, this is an incredibly toxic environment for me and I need to get out quickly.\n\nShould I put in resignation or wait until bosses return, then put in resignation?\n\n​\n\nUpdate:  I did it!  Put in my resignation just after lunch.  Thank you all for your support!",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 8,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for wanting help in the morning?",
    "body": "My partner works shift work, about 35 hours a week and usually in the evening/weekends. He has two online classes he is taking at the same time. Most days he takes a nap, does some studying, the dishes or some laundry and then goes to work.  He wants to shorten this to 25 hrs. \n\nI work anywhere from 40-60 hours a week. It’s very much a “work goes with you” type job and is very stressful/fast paced. I also did an online course during this job, but am now finished.\n\nWe have two kids (6 and 10.) Both are active, which means extracurriculars 5 evenings a week, plus all the regular business of kids. Often I feel like between work, kids, cleaning, I have very little time to myself. \n\nMornings are hectic. With all of us getting ready, kids eating, making lunches, etc - it is a race against time. I often ask my partner to wake up and help me out. On the days where he worked later the night before (past 11) I don’t ask for him to wake up. I then have to make sure to wake up earlier (takes longer to do everything on my own) and leave the house earlier (to get the kids to daycare and then to work on time).\n\nDays when he wakes up it goes much smoother. I can sleep in slightly, and because he takes the kids straight to school I can leave a bit later. We still share the morning workload those days. \n\nNow, often he complains about this. He says that since he doesn’t work until later he shouldn’t have to get up. He also says that he just needs more sleep than me. This bothers me because not only am I constantly on the go and  exhausted, but I also have a disorder that causes me to have less energy (among other things). \n\nCatalyst was this afternoon. I was exhausted this morning, he woke up with me but was not happy. I thanked him for his help and went to work. At lunch I ran home to bring him food because I know he wasn’t feeling awesome and he was napping. When he woke up he started complaining again about how he should have slept in, and that he needs more sleep than me. \n\nI could not hide my frustration. I told him that I work long hours, have very little time to relax like he does, that I am constantly exhausted (he jokes that he can never watch a full movie with me because I can never stay awake) and the last time I slept while he got up was the day after Christmas last year. I told him that if he never wants to get up again, that’s fine, I will wake up earlier every day - but stop pretending it is because you are more worn out and start accepting it is because you just don’t want to help. \n\nSo - am I the asshole for wanting help in the mornings even though my partner doesn’t have to get up for work?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 9,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if i decided to leave a shitty review at a car dealership?",
    "body": "i went to a car dealership to test out a car, i get  it they have sales tactics to try to get you to buy.  but these dudes seemed 100 % incompetent, took ages for them to get to me(stop wasting my time with your games) and they were just sitting there chatting. took a test drive in the car and i felt iffy. i made a point to them SEVERAL times \"I'm not making any decisions today, i'm simply looking at a few cars on my list\" when they asked how much i had to say \"that depends on what kinda deal i can get with yall and if i like this car\" \n\nthey kept asking and drilling me on the same questions though which was like mother fuck lay off?\n\nanother one that got me is the sales guy didn't want me to take it on the highway if i wasn't willing to consider/ think about getting the car today and i told him  \"that depends on what kinda deal i can get with y'all and if i like this car\"  and we take it on the highway and THERE is where i learned the car wasn't for me, it had no energy and i had to floor it to get past 60.. so i get back and they starting talking numbers like this shit is URGENT, we have other people who want this car \"cool sounds like you're gonna sell it eventually\"(me) and like the sales guy gets SUPER pissed that i didn't buy the car on the spot when he let me take it on the highway and he starts telling his boss that but like there shouldn't be an issue with me taking the car onto legal roadways to test the cars functioning abilities. \n\nthen the manager says to me \"brother i thought you came here to buy a car not waste our time\" which is like just angering cause when i got there i was into the car but it really doesn't perform to what i need it to for my daily commute. the guy also blamed my shifting in the manual for how it struggled on the highway but like i was in 4th doing 3k rmps and i shifted into 5th and there is where the car struggled(in its top gear?!) and other people had that one focal point to complain about the cars lack of sack on the highway(which i found out after reading on the test drive) \n\nso would i be an asshole if i left them a shitty google review? i live in a small town so it partly feels like a bad idea but there's tons of Subaru dealers all around and tons of other car dealerships i can go see...",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 10,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for refusing to burn my friend?",
    "body": "This is the stupidest thing ever but according to my friend I'm being a bitch. Names and ages are changed. I know she doesn't have reddit but our other friends do so I'm not risking it. \n\nI (18) gave my friend Eliza (18) a stick and poke tattoo about a month or two ago while we were hanging out, and she had me get a similar one in the same area as a best friends thing. The tattoo is slightly smaller than a nickel in size and it's on the inside of her ankle. \n\nTonight she just texted me saying that it was an emergency and she needs me to burn her tattoo off as her parents won't pay for college if she has one. She's extremely paranoid about student loans and refuses to take any out so this is a big deal to her. \n\nI told her under no conditions am I burning her to take the tattoo off. It will fade in a year, it's unlikely her parents will see it, and frankly it's ridiculous that she's asking me to intentionally burn her to take it off. I'm extremely uncomfortable with the idea of holding a lighter to her ankle just to get rid of it or burning anyone in general. I don't even know if the tattoo will disappear after the burn heals. \n\nShe's really upset with me for telling her that \"under no conditions am I burning you\". I told her she can ask her boyfriend or any other friends but it won't be me . She thinks I'm obligated to because I gave her the tattoo in the first place and her boyfriend will probably fuck up burning it off but I doubt I'm any more qualified to do that. \n\nAm I the asshole for telling her I won't burn her?\n\nedit: she also refuses to burn it off herself? she says concealer isn't an option since she might forget and it will be obvious when she wears flipflops at the beach.  she's a little bonkers but this might be the craziest thing she's ever asked me to do.  \n\nedit 2: apparently she's freaking out bc the tattoo means a lot to her since it was a friends thing but she doesn't want to risk college which understand. her new idea is to cut it off. idk how im friends w someone who thinks like this lmao.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 11,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for telling my girlfriend I was uncomfortable with her joke about penis sizes",
    "body": "I was talking to my girlfriend (over text so emotions are hard to convey) last night and we got to talking about sex. I was a virgin before being with her and shes had 4 previous partners. We have talked about it in the past and it doesnt bother me but it can sometimes be a point of insecurity for me.\n\nAnyway last night she smoked some weed and when we were talking she said shes \"taken 9 inches before\". I told her that is ridiculous and nobody is 9 inches and she said \"okay he said he was 7 and 3/4\". Then she said she wouldnt tell me who had the giant dick. \n\nI told her I couldnt tell if she was joking or not anymore and I was uncomfortable with the joke, and I explained it was because of me being a virgin prior to her while shes had 4 partners so it was a soft spot for me. She told me I was getting pissy and it was obviously a joke, and she said I always get annoyed with her when she gets high and it ruins her fun. Then she went to bed so that was the end of the talk.\n\nI should add as a side note that Im pretty big down there (not 7 3/4 big) so I wasnt self conscious about myself - it was more just being uncomfortable about the subject as a whole.\n\nSo AITA for telling her I wasnt happy with the joke she made?\n\nEDIT we talked about it and cleared it up, she thought I would take it as a joke, and I was in a bad mood due to other stuff unrelated to her happening that night. Ill leave this up but I dont really need judgement. I was being a little bitch about it lol",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 12,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for leaving my job over the matter of fifty cents?",
    "body": "I have worked for a chain restaurant as a delivery driver for a little over 9 years now. It has its up and downs but all in all I have been treated fairly, my manager has been a really understanding man.  The restaurant charges a fee for delivery, (X) but the drivers and chain have been splinting the fee between us (Y) , even when it raised the price so nothing to complain about. About 9 months ago it raised its delivery price by another 25 cents, the drivers didn't get an upgrade in pay but no one really cared, so it was now drivers (Y) and company (Y plus $.25). Then a few months ago they decided to up the delivery price another quarter so now drivers get (Y) and the company get (Y plus $.50) but again no one complained, nothing to rock the boat about I guess. But then a few days ago the GM decided to cut the drivers pay per delivery by $.50 without changing the delivery fee. So now it would that drivers get (Y)  and the company gets (Y plus $1.50) and now this change is upsetting every driver including myself. The GM is try to justify this change because the change in price was to coincide with price of gas as it was going up but now that is going down the drivers don't need that much money to pay for the gas plus that the drivers are paid the minimum wage  yet are \"Tipped\" employees.  Now here's the thing, I don't know about other places but the drivers here are lucky enough to get tipped so for us every dollar counts, especially since we have to pay for our own expenses on our vehicles so that pay cut will effect us. When I saw that notice it was upsetting, so I have to know if would be wrong to to leave my job because of the a downgrade in pay for delivery.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 13,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA Am I right to be upset at husband or crazy/insecure as he says?",
    "body": "I {29/f} am upset with the several things my husband [27/m] has been doing lately.\n\nThe most recent issue: He went to the lake with his friend. I didn't go because I'm 36 weeks pregnant, didn't want to be out in the hot sun for hours and using their tiny little restroom every 30 minutes. I told him I may or may not join later, would let him know.\n\nI decided to join hours later, I called when I got there.No answer. Some minutes later, I see his boat about to approach the dock. Before doing so, I saw him stopping next to a couple girls. They got in his boat, then another girl nearby (a friend of the 2 girls) was nearby and got in as well. He then took them for a boat ride for about 30-40 minutes. He never saw me waiting at the dock. He didn't know either because he didnt look at his phone to see my missed calls. So when he comes back, I'm pretty upset. I don't feel like he had business picking up 3 young girls in bikinis and giving them a ride. When he comes back, all of the girls give him a hug and thank him, one of them saying \"I hope your gf is not mad.\" The girls didnt know I was there waiting for him. He saw me there and corrected her saying \"wife.\" When they left, I asked him why they were on the boat. He said he just picked them up to help them get to the dock so they didnt have to walk a long distance. I asked how long, he said 10 minutes. So he lied straight up. I saw him pick them up, then go for a boat ride, that lasted 30-40 minutes while I roasted under the sun.\n\nThat is just one thing he did recently. I told him he is not single and that a married man had no business doing that. He says he did nothing wrong. He called me crazy and insecure. I have been in tears for days. Can barely eat or sleep well.\n\nAm I right to be upset? Do I need counseling?\n\nEdit: I'll just add a couple other things he has done to upset me. His ex gf called from her personal phone to let him know his deposit refund check is there in the office of his old apt, she works there (btw, it was supposed to have been mailed like the letter stated). He deleted that call from his log, went there to collect the check, and was MIA for 2-3 hours, lost his phone, and was late in picking me up. he lost his phone somewhere around that old apartment, then the car wouldn't start, he called tow truck services to jump start the vehicle when his brother lives down the street. He was not going to tell me he went there, I only found out by putting things together like his phone being lost and he's looking for it by the old apartment that his ex works at? And that he was late in picking me up bc car wouldn't start and didn't have a means to call me?\n\nAnother thing: He recently downloaded snapchat again. He was browsing through the contacts, deleting some people. This after he told me months ago that he deleted snapchat. Then I discovered that he had contacts on there and were subscribed to people he said he had blocked (these were women who sent him inappropriate videos while I was with him). These people were not just plain friends, they were exes, and women whose only purpose on snapchat is to show their bodies off.\n\nOne other thing: he's abusive. He has pushed me, twisted my hands so hard and sprained my finger that I fell to the ground out of the pain, and slapped me on several occasions. All while having a big pregnant belly. He says that if I disrespect him i deserve to have the shit beat out of me. We have different values. We're both Muslims but he is going on a different path. For instance I do not want to watch nudity or half-nudity scenes in our house. That is something he has hit me over because I tell him to stop watching it.\n\nI am begging him to seek counsel since he thinks I am in the wrong. He says I am crazy & insecure and that he does nothing wrong. He refuses to seek counsel and says \" I dont give a f*** about what other people think is right or wrong, I know what I did was not wrong.\"\n\nSorry this is all over the place. I am an emotional mess right now.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 14,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for making my girlfriend cancel her birthday gift?",
    "body": "Next Saturday is my Birthday and my girlfriend had planned that we‘d go play lasertag with 8 of my friends. I do however not have 8 close friends and thus she invited a few guys as well that are somewhere in between an acquaintance and a friend. My girlfriend paid €220 and each of my friends would pay only €10. All 10 of us are university students and have very limited budgets. \nOriginally this should have been a surprise but I asked her to tell me beforehand because I have a lot of studying to do and need to plan my time accordingly. \n\nI feel like she created an economic incentive for my friends and not so close friends to come to my birthday, which I absolutely hate because i‘d only want to see the friends on my birthday that also want to see me not the „friends“ that want to have fun on my girlfriends budget. Additionally I feel like she just spent too much money. \nBecause of that I asked her to either let everyone know that they need to pay their own share and to tell them there is no obligation to appear after the initial commitment by them or to just call it all off and say i‘m sick, which she decided to do as the other option would have been very difficult to communicate properly. \n\nShe is now really sad and mad at herself as she feels like she should have known i‘d not want her to pay any of that. \n\nAm I the asshole? \n",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 15,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for brining up my sister's past to her BF causing them to have a huge fight?",
    "body": "I am 27 male and my sister is 26, For the most part id say we get along pretty well and haven't had a fight since we were like 20 and 19.  I let my sister and her BF stay at my place for the time being cause they are new to the city and since I lived their I decided to be a good brother and give them a place to stay (they paid rent but I made sure it was pretty cheap cause I wanted to do them a favor).  They pretty much do their own thing and I don't see them much, but about once or twice a week we all sit down and watch a tv show or movie together (I live with my GF so I'm not the third wheel lol).  But on a commercial it was talking about the gym or something and my sister got all miffed that they were saying stuff like being fat is bad.\n\nA bit of backstory, she isn't fat by any means, her fiancé is a little chubby but id say he's more stocky than actually chubby.  I am a bit stocky too from what people have told me.  When we were teens she was pretty mean to me about being fat, ill admit back then I was pretty fat but after HS I wanted to lose weight and get in shape and my sister was my biggest supporter.  But recently she's really into that \"body positivity\" and I think her BF is into that too.\n\nI really thought he knew about her teasing me cause of my weight as a kid.  I hold no grudge over what she said to me as a teen cause I know she regrets it now and were good.  But when she said that I kinda smirked and jokingly said something like \"why couldn't you be so body positive when I was fat? you hated me as kids cause of that.\"  I started laughing hoping that she would join in but I got nothing but a glare from her and her BF looking pretty shocked at what he heard.  He then got up and left the scene my sister called me a dumbass and went with him.  I didn't think anything of it, I heard some screaming and arguing coming from their room but I had the couch with my GF so I just blocked that out.\n\nThe next day they are SUPER tense around each other and I feel kinda bad, my sister is kinda pissed at me and said I should've just kept my mouth shut, while her BF is saying I did the right thing saying that.\n\nI do feel bad that I caused the fight but I think both of them are being very over dramatic over this.\n\nAITA for telling a joke that caused a big fight between my sister and her BF?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 16,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I found a new weight training partner?",
    "body": "I'm on a sports team (at a D1 NCAA school) and have a close friend, let's call her Louise, who is always my weight training partner. She's my best friend on the team of 17 people.\n\nWe have weight training three days a week and Louise and I always share a bench, which is usually ok. The thing is that Louise is very very slow. When you share a bench, you also share equipment, so if Louise is still working through one exercise, I can't start my next set until she's done. This was fine when we didn't have timed workouts. I would wait for her to finish and then I'd do my sets. I might have to stay 5 minutes late, but it was worth it to be with my friend.\n\nThe thing is that we've just started doing timed workouts, where you have 20 minutes to complete as many circuits as you can and you are expected to either lift heavier or finish faster every time you lift. The problem is that Louise slows me down, so I'm in danger of not hitting my numbers while she's slowly finishing up with the equipment I need. She could be faster, but she insists on matching the weights I'm doing, so if I do an exercise with 20 lb weights, she isn't really ok with using the 15 lb weights. Our weight training partners are still kind of flexible but honestly, there isn't really anyone as slow as Louise. I don't know who she'd go with if I weren't her partner and we're friends so I don't want to leave her but at the same time, I don't want to get in trouble for being so slow.\n\nWIBTA if I asked another teammate to do these timed circuits with me.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 17,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for selling my engagement and wedding rings from my ex husband?",
    "body": "We separated about 2 years ago. We got together when I was 16, he was 18 and were together roughly 5 years before being married for nearly 4.\nWithout going into the gory details, he was not the greatest husband, I suffered many forms of abuse throughout that relationship but eventually found the courage to leave him.\nWe aren't involved in each other's lives anymore, but are still on speaking terms, but only when entirely necessary. We still live in the same (reasonably) small town and are both seeing other people.  \nI pretty much tell no one the things he did to me in that relationship, only my 2 closest friends who helped me through the break up, my sister, and my boyfriend. I originally kept quiet out of respect for him because I was still in that abused 'he's not that bad' kind of mindset. Now I keep quiet just to be the bigger person. He (being the manipulative sociopathic person that he is) has spun a whole web of lies about me to all the people who knew us as a couple, leaving out every terrible thing he ever did and placing all blame on me. That's fine, it doesn't bother me any more, but I'm just trying to paint a picture of why I don't want any attachment to him.  \n\nAnyway...  \nHe bought and paid for the engagement ring which was worth about $2500 (he got it half price I believe) and I bought and paid for my wedding ring* which was about $1200. I want to sell them a) because the money would be good, even though I'm sure they're not worth much now, and b) because I want to be rid of them and what they symbolise.  \nMy boyfriend and sister think I should sell/pawn them, but my friends don't think I should. \nThey think it would just make me look bad and if people found out it would just kind of make me look like the awful person he has told people I am... I'm also scared that one day he will ask for the engagement ring back and I won't know what to tell him.  \nTo be clear: he has never mentioned them and never asked for them back. However if I sell them I do not plan on asking/ telling him, mainly because I'm afraid of him and don't know how he would react + It's just another story to tell about me.  \n*I have no real issue selling the wedding ring as I paid for it myself .  \n\n\nSo WIBTA if I sold the rings without telling him?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 18,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for being mad about the TAs talking shit about students",
    "body": "I’m in high school and we have Teacher Assistants (TAs) for a math class. They make all the tests, grade them, and hold office hours. \n\nWell, the TAs keep going around saying to their non-TA friends how everyone in the class is complete shit at math. Note that they’re saying this where students in that class can hear. For example, they say how someone put this really stupid answer for a question on the test. They don’t say any specific names, but I have seen them grade tests in front of their friends and the test obviously has the name of the student on it. \n\nI think they’re being assholes, but my friend told me I’m overreacting because the TAs don’t say any specific names. So, AITA?\n\nEDIT: I’ve also overheard the TAs sharing the test problems with their friends before the test, but there’s no way to prove it.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 19,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for sleeping naked in my own room?",
    "body": "My parents have a problem with me sleeping naked in my own room. I (M17) like to sleep naked in my room without covers on and the fan on to keep cool while I sleep during the summer nights. Otherwise, I wake up in a pool of my own sweat. My mom wakes up periodically throughout the night and likes to check the house and check on all of us to see we're alive and okay. \n\nShe opened my door a few nights ago and we were both met with an unpleasant surprise. She told me that she doesn't want to see me like that again, so I locked my bedroom door the next night. She has a problem with that too, since she can't check on me during her ungodly hours of night she's up. \n\nHer solution? Just stop sleeping naked. I tried to explain I can't otherwise I can't sleep and I wake up all sweaty if I do, but she doesn't wanna hear it. Do I keep fighting this or try to move on?\n\nEdit: She's not crazy, she doesn't check my pulse or anything, she opens my door to see I'm in there, sleeping. I also don't really mind that she comes in unannounced, but because she does, I feel she shouldn't have a problem with it then.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 20,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for flashing my brights at a guy?",
    "body": "This happened a couple months ago, but it pops in my head every so often, so here we go.\n\nI was driving home from work around 5:30pm in May on a residential street. The sun was starting to go down a tiny bit, but it wasn't even reaching the point that I would call twilight. Good visibility, still quite sunny/bright. No clouds. I was driving behind a man in a white van who kept slamming on his brakes. I didn't know what that was all about, so just maintained a safe distance between us and kept on.\n\nAll of a sudden, he stopped in the middle of the street (not even at an intersection), put his van in park and jumped out of his car and started screaming towards me. He wasn't moving towards me and I was more confused than anything so I just sat there for a minute until he started gesturing at me and yelling louder. I rolled my window down a crack to see what he was yelling about, and he was screaming some variation of \"Turn your fucking headlights on!/Why aren't your lights on\" peppered with lots of profanity.\n\nAt this point, I was kind of pissed that he was blocking my way and yelling at me for something that wasn't even illegal. So I turned my headlights on and then flashed my brights at him. He kept yelling so I flashed them a few more times and he got in his van and sped off. I told the story to my friend and they told me I was an asshole for flashing my brights at him, but I was trying to express to him that a) I heard him and b) he was being a jerk without actually confronting him. AITA?  \nAlso, I looked it up online later and civil twilight was at 8:10pm that day.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 21,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for treating my stepdad like just some dude for the past 6-7 years?",
    "body": "[Ok so the first thing I want to say is this is my first post and it’s on mobile so if things jump around I apologize. I also don’t want to make this into a wall of text but this is an emotionally complicated thing for me so it’s hard to explain shortly but I’ll do my best.]\n\nI’ll start with, well the start. I would have been around 10(m) at this point in time and I’m now 16 almost 17. Around 2012 my mom and dad got divorced. I have no clue when this happened and I barely remember the year because I have tried (wether consciously or subconsciously) to suppress as much as I can about everything that’s happened. My mom was the one who left unlike what seems to be most peoples stories of the other way around. I can’t even explain how hurt and destroyed I was then so I’m not going to try and explain it now. All you need to know is that it was really f-ing bad for me and my dad emotionally. We felt completely betrayed. I lived about as comfortable as a life as I could have after all that happened.\n\n So fast forward to the past 2-3 years and I live primarily with my dad and visit my mom on weekends. (Also I’m gonna clear this up now, I love my mom to death even after everything that happened and I can’t thank her enough for everything she’s done for me).  My mom and now stepdad weren’t actually married until about 2-3 years ago so my title might not be 100% accurate but he was around from the start they just weren’t married. This is where the AITA shit begins. I treat my stepdad like he is basically nobody. Just some random dude with no relation to me and I’m starting to feel like an ass cause of it. This dude has done so much for me. He makes my mom happy, he’s pretty much the only reason we can get super nice stuff because my mom is a librarian, he gives me presents on my bday and Christmas, and he’s the reason we’re about to move into a much nicer house than what we currently live in.  And yet after all of this I still can’t bring my self to be thankful, or at to least show him I’m thankful. \n\nAm I the asshole for ignoring and treating my stepdad like he’s unrelated to me for so long?\n\n{If you need more info or context I’ll try my best to answer and give you the info you need. I will also be accepting whatever judgment you guys pass and depending on what is judged I’ll try to be better towards him and show more appreciation. I also will gladly take any advice given.}\n\nEdit 1: Ok I’m gonna bring this up now because I feel like it’s necessary at this point. I haven’t been told why the divorce happened and have been told if I still want to know when I’m 18 my dad will tell me. But now my grandma has already told me. We were talking a few months ago and I asked her if my mom cheated on my dad and she didn’t say yes directly but she basically confirmed it. If she didn’t cheat it wasn’t anything better, that’s all I know. I should also mention this was my dads 2nd divorce (basically 3rd but he wasn’t married to the first)  and that also weighs on my mind and how I feel about everything.\n\nEdit 2: wow I sure am editing a lot for a 30 min old post. So I also feel like I should bring up that while my stepdad does buy me things. If anything it feels like he’s just buying me over until I stop visiting, outside of that the ignoring is mutual. Neither of us actively try to talk to each other or engage with one another. He’s never once said he loves me and I’ve never said it to him. The only time we ever communicate is asking each other questions like where my mom is or what we want for dinner. We’ve gone months without saying a word to each other.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 22,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for dating a girl my friend was interested in?",
    "body": "It's about my friend, he's a brother of my ex gf, we've known each other for 4+ years. \n\nOne day I called him and we meet for drinks, he introduced me to some of his new friends, and we all have great time together and I invited them to my place for a cookout, and that repeats a couple of times, we go out, have drinks, they come over, I cook for them and we chill, everything's great.\n\nI noticed him being fairly close to this one girl in the group but didn't think much of it. Later out of curiosity I asked him if he felt anything for her, and he basically said that he likes her as a friend and that she's a cool person to hang out with, later I asked her the same question and she gave me the same answer, they're just friends. So I started chatting with her and slowly, we started spending more and more time together and then we started dating in secret at first, we didn't want to tell anyone until we were sure it's not just a fling, after a month or so, we decided to tell all our friends but in a nice way, we wanted to suprise them becouse it's all good news. So I invited them all for a dinner.\n\nShe goes first and tells them that she's staying in the country, and it's cheers and hugs all around, then I told them we're together and at first there's shocked silence then again yelling and cheering but I noticed him being unusualy quiet. That evening he stayed short, excused himself and left early. Tomorrow I sent him a message to see if everything is alright, but he didn't answer for the first time in 4 years. Then a week or so later my gf came home and said that he confronted her in the mall and told her that she rushed into this, that she needs to beware of who I am, and that she's making a mistake. She didn't know what to say and frankly neither did I when she told me about it but now we knew we had a problem on our hands. He just tried to sabotage my relationship behind my back!\n\nSo another month passes, I gave him time to answer my messages, he didn't, and she tells me again that he confronted her about us, he told her that WHEN our relationship is done, we are no longer friends, and basically that I am this big bad guy and she's making a mistake. Now I couldn't tolerate this any longer and I gave him a call and asked him what's up trying really hard to stay polite, he then told me that this was completely unacceptable of me, dating his best friend, and that it's her fault too choosing me over their friendship that it's like I'm dating his sister again, and that we are no longer friends. I tried to talk some sense into him but in vain. \n\nNow basically I lost a friend, she lost a friend, the whole group of friends is sided one way or the other and no one is talking about it, I have no idea what went down, my only working theory is that he was secretly in love with her and didn't want me to know, we are still together and doing great but the whole situation is kinda sad for us every time we remember him. Am I the bad guy here?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 23,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if i refuse to pay the late fee on a shared bill?",
    "body": "I’m (23f) student, i have two jobs in hospitality and study full time. I’m currently sharing with two friends who are a couple. One of them Taylor (not real name) 22f works full time office job is in charge of the bills and rent. Now we’ve talked before about her having that responsibility, and I’ve offered before to put some of the bills in my name. (we did end up transferring one account to me, so to get a student concession, starting next month). Each month she messages the group chat sometimes with a screenshot of the portion of the bill with the amount due, and sometimes she just states the total amount, and we transfer to the rent account ( a bank account in her name, that i dont have access to) for her to pay. \n\nI always transfer usually within around 3 days of her messaging, very often on the same day. I'm not 100% sure on this but typically you have around 2-3 weeks after receiving the bill to settle the account. This month (I cant find the original message about how much and when electricity was due) according to my bank statement, I transferred my portion around 3 weeks ago. The bill was due last wednesday. This morning, (monday) i get a message from her saying something along the lines of “im so sorry, i didn’t get paid in time to pay the electricity bill so its now $125 more. Can you each transfer me another $43, sorry”\n\nObviously generally I have no intention of skipping out without paying my share, except that I did pay my share. This isn’t even the first time this has happened. Early on in our living together, she without consulting us, applied for an extension to the internet bill and we each had to pay a bit more. It wasn’t much that time maybe $7, but i was annoyed because had she asked me, i would have lent the money to pay on time. This time, its considerably more money, and again, had she talked to me last week I could have helped her out. I’d much prefer to lend and cover the difference then be told that i have to pay a late fee. \n\nTLDR, I paid on time, she didn't, and now she wants me to contribute to the late fee. WIBTA if I refuse?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 24,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not caring about littering",
    "body": "So I made the mistake of thinking I could take my 6 year old and 7 month old to the renaissance festival by myself. I got a drink for my kid and the baby grabbed the straw out to play with it while in the carrier. I didn’t think much of it, I was just happy he was content at the moment.\n\nI decided to let my 6 year old get on a ride, while trying to help him I realized a lady had been yelling at me for something. As my son started to go into the ride and I was trying to see if he was excited or scared the lady was still following me and trying to get my attention. Finally I turned around and looked at her. She wanted to inform me that the straw my baby had been playing with was on the ground and she demanded that I go pick it up. I told her my hands were a bit full at the moment (still trying to keep my eyes on my 6 year old). She continued to tell me how she was just trying to be a good citizen because she was sure I had some kind of attachment to that straw and she kept saying “I’m sure you want to pick it up so you can keep it”. I was still trying to make sure my kid wasn’t scared while taking care of the baby. \n\nFinally I rush over real quick to grab the straw hoping my son doesn’t lose sight of me and the lady happily sits down on a bench next to her husband.\n\nI get it, I put myself in that situation and these kids are my responsibility. But am I the asshole for not wanting to pick up the straw?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 25,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for making a kid with autism cry and the bus",
    "body": "INFO: So my mom has recently come down with a very bad fever and is currently hospitalized, it’s been very stressful for me and I’ve been checking in on her through my Dad. About the kid, I had no idea he had autism, it was very hard to tell since we don’t talk to each other at all.\n\nSo on my school bus we have assigned seats (I know a bit outrageous), and I have to sit next to this guy, let’s call him JOE. Me and Joe don’t talk at all, I’m just tired to and from school so I don’t feel like talking on the bus, I always thought Joe was the same way since we only ever talk when it was necessary. \n\nEvery day when I’m on my phone he tends to look over my shoulder and see what I’m doing. It’s clear he’s looking at my phone because I can see his eyes pointing right at it in the corner of my eye. I’m bothered by this since I value my privacy in certain things i do on there like texts or something. I would just stop being on my phone while near him but somethings I have to attend to, such as my mom being in the hospital. I’ve always told him to stop and of course he does it the next day. \n\nThis time my Dad was texting me about how my mom has been and once again he was looking in on my conversation. \n\nI turn to him and say,”Dude, can you please stop looking at my phone?”\n \n“Ok my bad,”He turns around temporarily. \n\nAbout 2 minutes later he resumes his peeking. This time I’m fed up. \n\nI turn around once more and tell him,”OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS CAN YOU, SUCH A FUCKING INCONVENIENCE!”\n\nHe started to tear up and then he began to cry, like a sob almost. The bus driver gave me a referral and I was sent to meet with the counselor. She told me that Joe was on the autism spectrum and that id be let off easy since I had no idea. \n\nHowever I still can’t help but to feel bad now that I found out he was on the spectrum. I feel awful now and that maybe I reacted too impulsively. AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 26,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if we had a vegetarian wedding?",
    "body": "\n\n\nThis is a hypothetical that we were discussing tonight.\n\nMy boyfriend and I are both vegetarians. I mentioned that I would want only vegetarian food at my wedding because that’s what I would supply at any other event I would host, plus We would want to be able to taste test the dishes.\n\nMy boyfriend’s view: you should definitely have a meat option as a courtesy, just like most weddings have a vegetarian option as a courtesy.  People are coming out and paying (through gifts or cash) for their dinner, so they deserve a meal they’d like. \n\nHis opinion really has made me reconsider. WIBTA for only having vegetarian food at a (hypothetical) wedding? Thank you to whoever responds, this has been bothering me all day.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 27,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITAH for asking my aunt not to send messages to me that I considered disrespectful",
    "body": "Im just going to type out the exact conversation and you guys can make of it what you will.\n\n---Edit---\n\nI left very little context to try to avoid bias, but that led to a number of assumptions from being made. The situation is that I don't check my phone very often, and this is the first direct communication I have gotten from my aunt. I did not see the messages until today. I considered her 'follow up' message extremely childish and wanted to avoid having those sorts of interactions going forward as they are very common in my family. This is mostly here for clarity/posterity, judgement seeeeemssss basically done. (IATAH)\n\nMy objective in my (rude) 3-sentence message was to make it clear that I considered her message unacceptable, That I understand that she is upset but it is not a good reason to send messages like that, and to avoid having those sorts of interactions in the future. The negative-caps lock-angry messages is something that is common in my family and which I hoped to 'put my foot down' and avoid in my adulthood.\n\nI interpreted her response as a 'dodge' and deflect. She has a history/reputation of being extremely petty/passive aggressive (something I didn't want to share initially for bias reasons). Asking someone to \"see a professional\" is a very common and fairly serious insult in my family, as there is a major stigma against mental health issues.\n\nA few commentators don't believe me that I don't check my phone often, which is odd. I have attempted to be a 'reliable narrator', as much so as possible. I do believe everything I am sharing to be true. If I was interested in making myself look good to internet strangers, it wouldn't be hard to make actual changes to the narrative to do so, or share more 'context' then what is necessary to understand the situation. \n\nThank you all for your replies, I appreciate them.\n\n--End of edit---\n\n----GROUP CHAT: Me, 2 Brothers, Dad, Mom, Aunt----\n\nMarch 25:\n\nAunt: Happy Palm Sunday Fam! Please let me know who is coming for Easter dinner ASAP. I must know by tommorow. I will be  away next weekend and need to plan prior to leaving. I am not sending ANY more communications. If I don't hear from you, I will assume you are NOT attending. \nLove ya! Aunt AuntiePants. \nPass on to the Girls!\n\nMarch 29:\n\nAunt: You guys are PATHETIC! Not one of you got back to me. \nSHAME ON YOU ALL!\n\nApril 11:\n\nMe: Im not sure about the best way to communicate that this sort of correspondence is unacceptable but it is. I get your upset but your twice my age and should be able to control yourself. In the future please act like an adult when messaging me.\n\nAunt: Skelly are you commicating with me, you aunt Auntiepants? If so... this message was sent [two weeks ago]. Don't you think it's a bit irrelevant at the moment! If this is your reply, it's a clear indication of how off you are. In fact, you worry me so much that it leads me to think you need to adress it with a proffessional. \nLove you! \nPS I'm glad you came for Easter!\n\n----END----\n\nI can give more context if asked. I get that my message might have been a bit much but I can talk more about that if its 'on the fence'. Idk. I haven't talked to anyone else in the group chat about this yet, but they will all agree with my Aunt. \n\nThanks guys.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 28,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for keeping my cat indoors?",
    "body": "Throwaway because my cat might read this.\n\nIn all seriousness, my cat was an outdoor cat when I lived with my parents. So, basically her entire life. She is six years old. My parents live in a cul-de-sac and I felt like the neighborhood was relatively safe. My cat is extremely smart and I trust her with taking care of herself out there.\n\nI recently moved out of my parents house into apartments out in the mountains. There are more wild animals out here and I don’t really trust people to let her roam free especially since she’s such a friendly cat. She only lets people she trusts pick her up but if a stranger becomes someone she trust, they can easily take her away. The neighbors at my parents house knew it was our cat. \n\nNow, am I the asshole because I keep my cat indoors? She’s getting old and I don’t think she’ll be able to fend for herself forever. She is becoming more talkative and extremely impatient and I can just tell she’s angry at me for not letting her out. She’s miserable. AITA because I won’t let her out? She’s capable, but it’s a new area and I’m scared to let her run free. I just want to protect her and keep her safe.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 29,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not tipping?",
    "body": "I live in a city in the US. There is a restaurant that has a drive through that mostly makes tacos. Tortas and gorditas are also available. On the side of the building is a big sign saying they pay their workers $15-$17 per hour to start and that help is wanted. I go there to get a couple of breakfast tacos once in a while.  I used to tip but once I saw how much the starting wage was, I stopped.  I have worked in food service and I only expected tips if I was waiting on a table and making less than min wage. I have worked a job in this city that required some medical training (college classes) that paid less and we did not receive tips. My friend that was with me last time I went through the drive though thought I was an ass for not tipping.  I think they are already getting paid a decent wage to work a drive-though. To be clear I tip at least 20% at places if I am sitting down for service. This is different in my mind though because they are making a livable wage and not having to cater specifically to my table.  Am I the asshole?  What is the proper etiquette  ?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 30,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for telling my sister to pay me back for a graduation trip I took her on?",
    "body": "My(24F) sister(18F) and I have always had trouble getting along. When she was 12 she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I'll admit I used to be someone who didn't really believe in mental illness, but over the years due to my sister and friends I've tried to become more accommodating to those types of things and our relationship had improved greatly due to that. I'm still not the best at understanding it, but I try.\n\nMy sister \"graduated\" from school in June. She had struggled with school due to her illnesses. She school a lot and failed several classes prior to her senior year, but by the grace of her counselor and her own determination, she managed to walk.\n\nWhen she graduated I told her as a present for her hard work I'd take her anywhere she wanted. She chose Taiwan since she studied Chinese in school and because I lived there for 1.5 years during college and said it was a great place to visit.\n\nBefore booking the trip I asked to see her diploma, but she and my mom told me it was delayed due to a grade being put in late and wouldn't arrive for a few weeks. Since my mom was backing her up I said okay and we booked for early August.\n\nThe trip goes on and we have a great time. I accommodated her anxiety by going to tourist spots during dead hours, eat at off hours, stay in when needed, etc. At the end of the trip my sister told me it was the most genuine fun she's had in a long time.\n\nLife goes on, September is nearly over when my youngest sister(16F) calls me up. We talk for a while, she finally complains about our sister sleeping late. I get confused because she shouldn't be sleeping late due to attending college?\n\nYounger sister tells me that our sister didn't actually graduate and she thought I had known. She was supposed to finish an online class to get her diploma but never did. I immediately call up my mom and dad who confirm it. I then told my mother that I would like sister to pay me back for her ticket as that was supposed to be a graduation present. My mother gets upset and tells me I need to respect sister's mental health and she can't do that right now. We argue and my mother hangs up.\n\nI decide to go home the next day and confront sister about her diploma. I try to talk about it but she starts crying the second I mention her diploma. To be short I ended up telling her that she can either find a way to get her diploma within the year, or she has to pay me back for her plane ticket at least. My sister cries that she can't do that - she needs a mental break and can't handle getting her diploma right now, can't say when she will get it, and can't pay me back.\n\nIt's been several days but sister and parents all say I'm a complete asshole for wanting my money back. Younger sister is on my side, but she is very similar to me. My friends are also very divided. Quite a few say I'm an asshole and shouldn't risk my sister's mental health over $1000, while others think my sister needs to face reality, which I agree with.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 31,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for wanting to refuse service?",
    "body": "Am I the asshole for wanting to refuse service?  \n\n\nI am a photographer. I specialize in children and babies but occasionally work with families as well.  An aunt to one of my sons friends has asked me to do a large extended family session (30 people) for them. They have chosen a time/location that just isn’t really ideal. Theres only so much flash/reflecting that can be done with a group this size and its honestly going to be more work than the session costs.   \n\n I suggested two things, 1. Change the time to later in the day when the sun wasn’t so harsh and unflattering or 2. Drive a little further down the same road and utilize an area with a nice tree bed to allow an even continuous lighting. Both options were a no for the client. \n\nAm I an asshole if I chose to not shoot the session? They haven’t booked yet. Theres still a few weeks for them to check out some recommendations I have to offer (although, none of them have jumped for joy at the opportunity themselves either). I just don’t have the time to deal with the hassle that comes from doing this session mid-day w/ no shade.\n\n\n\n\nUpdate: I read through the comments and took some advice. I let her know that I wouldn’t be able to to do it and she was actually pretty ok about it. She said she understood and would take any recommendations I had. \n\nI’m not sure why I was so worried. Thank you! ",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 32,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not lending my bike to my friend?",
    "body": "I'm a 16M and my friend is the same age as me. We both go to the same school and we sometimes walk together.\n\nI was waiting for my friend at his house when I realized he wasn't taking his bike (it's about a 30 minute walk), I told him he should bring it because he'd be late if he didn't. I also told him and strongly emphasized that if he was gonna be late he couldn't borrow my bike.\n\nNow we head out even though he doesn't have his bike and about 20 minutes later he realizes that he's never going to make it walking. He asks me for mine and of course I say no, then he goes onto say that he has a presentation that he can't be late to because this is their last day for it. I'm still reluctant to let him borrow my bike and keep refusing. He then gets mad and starts jogging towards our school and I bike after. He tells me to just go away and leave.\n\nAnother thing I should mention is that I start later than he does so I wouldn't have been late.\n\nHe's been mad at me for a couple days now and called me petty. I'm starting to feel uncertain about my decision and that's why I'm here.\n\n AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 33,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For getting frustrated at my Mom and Stepdad",
    "body": "Sorry for any poor grammar or any rule breaking this is my first post. Alright lets get into it! So when I was 11-13 my parents were heavy alcoholics and my Dad was homeless. My Mom and my stepdad would get physically and mentally abusive (I could elaborate but I don't feel comfortable doing so on the internet). It ended for the most part after the second time I called the police and my stepdad got arrested. Afterward my mom drank heavy and shamed me for about a week. The new problem arose when my stepdad got released. He was on house arrest and wasn't allowed to have contact with us for a month. My mom decided it would be a great idea to take us to visit him two days after he was placed on house arrest (he was only in jail for 10 days).I was uncomfortable with the interaction and tried to walk home but I felt like my mom forced me to stay. My stepdad was perky and uncomfortably happy. His initial response to me calling was positive but slowly after he started poking fun and shaming me. I brought up how fast we were interacting to our social worker and the interaction went something like this:\n( social worker was asking about our relationship )\nMe: I don't know. I feel like he came home to early.\nStepdad: What do you want me to do zilla? Do you want me to move away?\nIdk but for some reason that and the events mentioned before eat at me a little. Now I'm 17 and all the social workers and what not are gone. I am severely depressed and frustrated as I cannot drive and I cannot work by my moms choosing. My stepdad and I are always back and forth over stupid things such as me messing up while making coffee ( filter broke and grounds got into the pot ). I try to explain to my mom why I am sad and she essentially says \"Oh I understand my mom did etc.\". I don't know if it's her trying to relate to me but I'm trying to discuss current issues that are plaguing my life. Then I try to explain to my stepdad why I don't trust him and my problems with his tone and comments. He gets angry and then I bring up his previous actions that I remember. He gets uncomfortable and says he doesn't remember doing those things and asks me to quit talking about them as they hurt his feelings. I just want him to understand three things\n1. Why I don't trust him\n2. Why I cannot just let it go\n3. Why I don't like his tone and the manner he presents himself with (It's very similar to when he was drinking)\nThen this is what I would like my mom to understand.\n1. Why I am sad\n2. Why I feel disappointed in myself\n3. Why I want to move out\nPlease respond any feedback is welcome If this goes well I'll post another concerning my dogs.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 34,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA if I don’t thank my boss for providing lunch if I don’t have any?",
    "body": "So I have been with my current company for about five years, but recently moved to a much larger department back in February. This department is really big on food days, celebrating birthdays, holidays, and on occasion ordering in food. \n\nI have Crohns, and usually cannot eat any of the food brought in or ordered because I have extreme sensitivities and just never know what will set me off. I’d rather not partake than risk an issue. My boss and most of my coworkers are aware that I have issues, and I have insisted plenty of times that they shouldn’t feel bad or attempt to cater to my issues. My supervisor feels bad sometimes, but I’ve insisted that I’m ok with it (and I do mean it, I’m not upset about being excluded).  \n\nSo the AITA part: everyone in our department makes a big deal about saying a big thank you, sending an email and CCing the entire department, etc. I don’t usually reply because it doesn’t apply to me - they know I can’t have it, and I don’t see a reason to say thank you for food I won’t be eating. In fact, I think it could come across as sarcastic or rude to say “thanks for buying the pizza I can’t eat” but a coworker thinks I’m being rude for not acknowledging the gesture. \n\nAITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 35,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I tried to contact the parent of a child that is abusive to his dog",
    "body": "First time poster, I apologize if my format is off, because I am on mobile.\n\n My apartment complex has a dog park that happens to be adjacent to my building, and I am a smoker who is often outside sitting at the picnic table outside of my building. For about a month now I've noticed a young boy, about 12-14, who brings his dog to the dogpark occasionally at night. Occasionally as in, I've seen him about 6 times this month. Every single time he is out here with his dog he abuses them. He shoves, he pushes, and he verbally assaults his dog. He will kick the fence and scream/yell for him to come. Ignoring the fact that he never even goes into the dog park to pick up after his dog as well, he is just an absolute nightmare to listen to. I hear and see him yelling, and dragging, and yanking his dog every freaking time. All the while he is on his phone screeching to whoever the fuck is his friend. I got so fed up, that today after he yanked his dog out of the park, with a loud yelp from the dog with his tail between his legs mind you, that I walked to the front of the building and watched which other apartment (out of 8) that he walked into. I have no idea how to go about reporting him to anyone, even if I speak to management he is a minor and I don't know who he even is, all I know is the building he is in which has 8 different families/apartments in it. \n\nWIBTA if I continued to try and figure out who his parents are? Maybe when they take said dog to the dogpark? And try and speak to them about this abhorrent behavior? What if I get the wrong people and look like a lunatic ya know. Im just so sick of hearing and witnessing such horrible abuse. I would like to hope that this dog gets treated better at home, but maybe its learned behavior on the boys part. It may seem like a validation post or something but I'm honestly worried for this dog and don't know what to do and don't want to seem like THAT neighbor.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 36,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA and a \"Karen\" in this email?",
    "body": "Just wondering because you can never be too sure. This is the email I'm planning on sending:\n\n\"Hi (manager)\n\nI was in your Subway earlier. Although the lady who served me was kind and friendly, I was disappointed with the customer service I received. I've worked in food service in the past so I understand how difficult it can be but I still felt the service could have been better. I asked for a vegetarian sandwich and she didn't change her gloves. She put pepperoni on the sandwich and I reminded her it was vegetarian. She simply took it out and didn't change the bread. She then toasted it without me asking so even though I didn't want her to. Finally, she put sauce I didn't like or want on it.\n\n\nThis however isn't the first time I've received bad service here. I feel that the training of staff needs to be more often than it is now.\n\nBest regards (my name)\"\n\n\nAITA and a Karen?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 37,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I ghost this guy?",
    "body": "\n\nLtl ftp mobile all that stuff. So I (25f) recently decided to get back on the dating scene after a hiatus spent focusing on my setting up a career and life. I joined tinder not expecting much but figures what the hell. Today I matched with a guy who seemed nice enough, not my normal type but still decent and not creepy. When I first saw his profile something about him seemed familiar but I couldn't place it. Well he matched with me and we did the normal small talk before I mentioned that I thought I knew him from some where. He explained that we had known each other 5-10 years ago when were both in school. \n\nAs soon as he said that I remembered exactly who he was. He was friends with my older sister, and at the time, neighbor/best friend. He actually dated my friend for a while and it ended rather badly. I remember him being real douchey at the end of the relationship and when they broke up we never really saw him again. \n\nNow I know this was close to 10 years ago and that people can change but I also remember my friend going through hell at the end of that relationship. Now when I see that he messaged me I cant help but remember that and I am really hesitant to enter into anything with him. The problem is my sister and several other friends are friends with him on Facebook and I don't know what the potential backlash would be if I just ghosted this guy who has honestly been nothing but nice so far. \n\nSo WIBTA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 38,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for cutting off a close friend for exposing my furry art account to the rest of the school?",
    "body": "I'm a furry artist in highschool- all my my content is sfw and I do it for fun! I really do enjoy myself, but due to the stigma around furry art, the furry community, etc, I like to keep my interests relegated to online forums and communities. Last week, one of my close friends (let's call him Oli), posted a screenshot of my art instagram on his snapchat story, with the caption 'another one, boys'. (The boys at my school have a habit of harassing any account they deem cringeworthy on social media)\n\n​\n\nI messaged Oli, because i was worried and I thought he would be understanding. This is the message I sent him, verbatim:\n\n​\n\n\"Hey, Oli, I know you and \\[redacted\\] have fun making fun of furries and stuff, but the account you posted tonight was mine, I use my art and my characters as a coping mechanism, and I really need you to respect it. You don't have to like it or understand it but please don't do this to my account, it really means a lot to me.\"\n\n​\n\nSeconds later I get a notification that our conversation had been screenshotted, and he posted the message I sent him on his story. \"OMFG IT'S SHUNKSE'S SHE'S A FURRY\"\n\n​\n\nI felt humiliated. I found that screenshot on a ton of people's stories, one just said, \"I  can't believe shunkse draws furry porn\"\n\n​\n\nOli apologized when i saw him at school the next day, and said I needed to learn to take a joke. No one had really been talking to me directly about it, just online, but it still hurt me that he would post something so personal, especially when I trusted him with that information.\n\n​\n\nAITA for ignoring him, blocking his accounts, and not accepting his apology? Our shared friends think I'm being harsh, but I feel it was justified.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 39,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for telling a friend the truth about a guy she’s “seeing”?",
    "body": "A friend (36f), I’ll call her Cate, started seeing someone we both used to work with, let’s call him Joe (42m) She always thought he was hot and was attracted to him when we all worked together, but she was married at the time and he was dating a string of different girls. Nothing came of it. Joe and I became good friends, and I became privy to a lot of personal details about him. He’s a vet with PTSD, an alcohol abuse problem and the tendency to cheat on every girl he’s ever dated. He and I no longer have any contact for a number of reasons, all to do with his shitty behavior. \n\nCate’s marriage fell apart (her husband was cheating on her it turns out) and she quickly started dating another guy that she ended up engaged to for a bit. I have told Cate about Joe’s instability and infidelity before as he has come up in conversation a few times, especially when he and I were still on good terms. I didn’t share the more personal details as those are his stories to tell, simply shared that he can’t keep it in his pants and he’s not as great to date as she fantasizes he would be. Life happens and Cate and I rarely see each other now as we no longer work together. \n\nLast time we went for lunch she told me she had finally broken it off with her boyfriend (he was basically leaching off of her, living in her house and treating her 3 teen kids poorly). She was glad to be single and planned to take some time for herself. \n\nFast forward to this summer. I was at another friends place who still has contact with Joe, and he told us that Cate reached out to Joe with a lingerie clad photo and an invitation to casual sex. Joe had showed the photo around. Obviously he dove in dick first. Shortly after that he was telling the same mutual friend that Cate is crazy, he needs to call it off but doesn’t know how to get rid of her. \n\nA couple of weeks later, Cate is posting photos of her middle son out on a day of hunting and fishing with Joe (they pulled him out of school for the day for this outing). Thing obviously progressed beyond casual sex at this point. \n\nI Have not talked to Cate about this relationship in person yet, but got a text from her saying that she should have listened to me, and from what I gather things have gone south with Joe. \n\nMy husband says to stay out of it, but WIBTA if I told her the truth: 1. That Joe was showing the photo to other people 2. That he was saying unflattering things to others and wanted to end things long ago and 3. Warning her that sending her kid out hunting with him is extremely dangerous (my hubby hunted with him last year - he got drunk, forgot to use the safety on his gun and left it loaded) 4. That he’s been through rehab twice before and should go again if he’s still drinking like a fish and 5. Remind her of history of cheating, lying and narcissistic behavior with every other girl he’s been with?\n\nI want to protect my friend, but Joe also thrives off of drama and I don’t want to get embroiled in his shit. \n\nWhat say you Reddit?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 40,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not helping my boyfriend in an debate with my parents?",
    "body": "We were having dinner tonight and somehow politics came up, and my boyfriend said that Trump isnt all bad (he didnt vote for Trump but agrees with a few of his policies) and my stepdad and him started to debate. Within a couple minutes Hitler came up and my boyfriend also said Hitler wasnt a completely bad person (I love him but god is he dumb, not sure what my boyfriend expected to get from saying that), and my stepdad got heated and they got into it even more. After around 5 minutes of them going back and forth me and my brother decided to go downstairs to leave them to argue amongst themselves. Am I the asshole for leaving him to argue and not defending him in an argument that I personally have no part in?\n\nUPDATE: Turns out my stepdads father was in a starvation camp, this isnt going well.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 41,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for ignoring my ex who I still live with?",
    "body": "Our 2 year relationship was great, but recently we drifted apart and realised we wanted different things. Neither of us can afford to move out at the moment so we decided to just be respectful and try to get through the next month or so as easily as possible. \n\nAt first it was weird, we would still go out to eat together, sleep in the same bed, etc. It was as if nothing had changed other than our relationship status. It almost seemed that the distance that had grown between us over the last few months was no longer there. I was reinvesting myself to the idea that this might still be salvageable. We talked about it and she thought this too. \n\nSo we got back together. \n\nNow, months later, it's happening again for the 3rd time and I recognize the pattern. It's not healthy for either of us to keep dragging ourselves emotionally through the mud like this, so I've told her this time I'd like to go no contact. I'll sleep on the couch, make my own meals, lead a single life essentially. I made this decision several days ago and since then she has been crying nonstop. She's asked for hugs the first couple of days and I only shake my head and walk away. Now she just cries harder everytime we're in the same room. It kills me because I want to be there for her, I just know where that path leads. \n\nSo, am I being an asshole here? ",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 42,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for buying my bratty nephew store brand mac and cheese",
    "body": "My 9 year old nephew eats Kraft dinner constantly and its disgusting but my sister doesn't see anything wrong with it and since I was yelled at last time for simply bringing up he should be eating healthier food I shut my trap about it. Recently I was on my way over one day when she called me and asked if I could buy a box to bring since they're out. Whatever its only a buck so I stopped at walmart when I saw the Great Value brand and bought it instead because what's the difference? Well when he saw the box he threw an absolute tantrum screaming about how its \"not the same\". My sister punished him for it but yelled at me for \"buying the wrong one\" and I told her to buy that garbage her damn self next time. Later at dinner the Great Value mac and cheese was made for nephew and at one bite he started screaming how it \"doesnt taste right\" and my sister demanded I go and get the right kind. So I said I would, left and didnt come back. This morning I woke up to 20 texts about how Im a heartless asshole and how \"hes just a child\" and other bullshit over mac and cheese, but now Im wondering if I should have just got the kraft junk to spare a headache",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 43,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for saying that I love myself more than anyone else?",
    "body": "So I (27M) went for a drink with some friends (2 guys my age and also 2 girls). Just for a preliminary note, I have a girlfriend (26F) and so do the two guys. However our girlfriends weren't with us.\n\nNow anyway, as we were drinking one of the guy friends, we'll call Steve, said that he thinks he is ''in love'' with his girlfriend and that there's ''noone else in the world that he loves more than her''. Now we can call the other guy Joe and the other two girls Bethany and Katy. Joe congratulated him and Bethany and Katy said ''awwwh''. I congratulated him too that he's found a girl he really likes.\n\nThen they turned to me and asked whether I love my girlfriend. I said that I do, but I don't know why I said this, as I was drunk, I just blurted out ''I love her very much, I really do, but...there's noone in the whole world that I love more than myself. Not even my own mother.''\n\nThey looked at me startled and the girls said ''That's such a fucking douchey thing to say''. I quickly changed the topic, but when I think of it, I don't see the issue. It's socially acceptable for a guy to say he loves his girlfriend/wife more than anyone, or it's socially acceptable for a mother to say she loves her son more than anyone (or a father loves his daughter more than anyone). But it's douchey to say I love myself more than anyone?\n\nI 100% feel that I love myself more than anyone. I love myself more than my parents. More than my friends. More than my girlfriend. I don't see why people get triggered at this, AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 44,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for periodically falling off the face of the planet due to anxiety issues?",
    "body": "Obligatory apology for formatting due to being on mobile; \n\nI know that in some cases, mental illness is no excuse for assholery. I may need to be called out by Reddit if I am indeed being the asshole. \n\nI have a habit once or twice a year where I completely drop off the face of the planet electronically; don't answer texts, don't answer messenger, no matter what point the last conversation ended. People worry about me, and I just feel I can't, for the life of me answer. This is cyclical in nature. I don't like this part of me at all. Am I being the asshole?\n\nEdit for clarity; I'm on a waitlist for mental health counseling; 3 weeks away. I have a bad habit of ghosting everyone due to mental health issues, and how big of an apology I need to give others.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 45,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for being mad at a friend for an argument over a show?",
    "body": "I already know it’s dumb to get mad over shows, but this is  more about the argument itself. \n\nHe likes a show that I’m not interested in watching because I’ve heard it’s really bad. He gets upset about that, so an argument ensues. He calls me out for trying to have an opinion when I haven’t even seen the show despite the fact that I’ve watched in depth analyses that go for hours as to why the show is bad. He refuses to listen. All the claims I made are rebutted with completely conflicting evidence that doesn’t line up at all with the multiple sources I’ve seen. I start getting mad because he’s calling me out over and over saying the points I bring up aren’t valid and that the people I watch are just looking for reasons to hate the show because of “nostalgia boners.” At this point, I’ve given up trying to argue for myself so I send him one of the sources I refer to, and he refuses to look at it because he’s not interested. I’m trying to have a legitimate argument but he just won’t have it. He ended up calling me childish and asking if I was “okay” because this was low “even for my standards” as if I get this way frequently. \n\nI feel like I’m in the right, but he seems to think I’m an irritable asshole who just doesn’t want to like anything.\n\nedit for minor word choice and formatting",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 46,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I broke ties with an emotional friend?",
    "body": "(TL;DR at the bottom)\n\nMy best friend decided to start a relationship with my other close friend. I told him it would be a bad idea because if they ever broke up, it would severely impact our group of friends. He went through with it anyways, and after a month he wanted out of the relationship because he found her too clingy. He decided to end it asap because he didn't want her to get too attached. After a month and a half, they broke up.\n\nAbout the girl:\nI've known her for a while and had dated her a few years ago (lasted about 3 months, broke up with her because she was pulling me away from my other friends). She seemed to be ok after about a week. She started dating guys constantly for short periods of time (average relationship time: 2 months). She gets very emotional after each breakup, but is usually fine after a week, then goes and finds someone new. She shows signs of being bipolar and depressed, but nothing has been confirmed.\n\nAbout their relationship:\nShe was extremely clingy and got very attached in the first week. They would constantly stray away from the rest of the group and make out, leaving everyone else feeling awkward. When they were alone, she would start crying if he asked her to go home a bit early for whatever reason. He was not happy in this relationship, but she seemed very happy. When they broke up, she started bawling and rushed home. The next day we saw cuts on her arm.\n\nNow:\nWhenever we go out as a group she insists on coming with us, especially if my best friend is there. During most of the day she seems perfectly fine and happy. However, when it starts to get late, things change. She always wants me to comfort her and try to make her feel better since I've known her for a long time. My best friend just stands there and doesn't know what to do, and I feel bad for him. All she tells me is \"I miss him\" and \"I still love him\". My best friend has made it clear that he is not still interested in her.\n\nShe adds stress to the group whenever he's around, and there's nothing we can do to help. This has been going on for 5 weeks since the breakup, and I can't deal with it anymore. Me and my best friend agreed that we should break ties with her, even though it seems immoral (Just to clarify; she would still be hanging out with the rest of the group, but me and my best friend wouldn't be there when she is)\n\nWIBTA if I break ties with her?\n\nTL;DR\nMy best friend broke up with a girl I had known for a long time. He found her too clingy and wanted to break it off soon to avoid making things worse for both of them. She was severely impacted by this and constantly mentions how she still has feelings for him, even though my best friend told her he isn't interested anymore. She still hangs out with our group of friends but she always brings the mood down and starts crying. This has been going on for a few weeks now, and I can't take the stress of trying to cheer her up anymore.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 47,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for quitting my job?",
    "body": "Okay, the reason I’m posting this is because I have mixed results from my coworkers and friends. I’m on mobile, so sorry for any issues. TLDR @ bottom\n\nSome backstory; I’m a 16 y/o shift manager at a fast food chain. Over the summer I was working 50-60 hours a week, and when school started I said I can only work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. This was obviously a blow to the management team, which consists of two full time managers (GM and AGM) and then another part time student who only works Sunday . \n\nHere is where the controversy comes in. I want to quit very badly. The reason is that I asked off 2 weeks ago for this coming Friday because I have finals this week (my school runs trimesters, weird right?) and I want to work on papers that are due at midnight. So my manager, when doing the schedule last thursday, got mad at me and told a coworker that she’s going to schedule me for Wednesday because i shouldn’t have asked off for a day that I usually work. \n\nWell, I’m screwed now because I have finals and a presentation due on Thursday and I will be working to ~11 Wednesday night, when I specifically said at the beginning of the school year I couldn’t work schooldays. My coworkers are saying I’d be an douche because I would leave the management stranded with no closer for Friday thru Sunday, especially seeing that we are starting to get busy now that the weather is picking up. \n\nTLDR: GM got mad at me because I asked off for a day I usually work because I have finals, so she schedules me a close in the middle of finals week.  Our management team would be fucked if I left, but I want to quit. \n\nSo WIABTA\n",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 48,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for putting up screenshots on my social media of my girlfriend cheating on me?",
    "body": "So a little back story. Me and my girlfriend were together for exactly 1 year. She broke up with me the day after and said she wanted a week break. That ended up with me walking in on her a week later with another guy at her place the night after she said she still loved me and wanted to be together so I went around the next morning. We have been separated for nearly 3 months now. Anyway, I heard rumours of her cheating and she cried and denied it and got angry and wanted to find out who said it so I believed she didn’t do it. 2 days ago I received not 1, not 2 but 3 different screenshots of people she cheated on me with (not pics of the actual deed but messages) I was so upset because it was my first relationship and I feel like it meant nothing. I was also extremely angry so I took the screenshots, posted them on my social media and have been getting messages from more people telling me they knew she did this but didn’t want to get involved. I’ve had a few people tell me I’m an asshole because I should just let it go but the thing is she’s telling people I was toxic/manipulative when all I did was pay for her things, get her a job, ditch my friends for her. So in spite I posted it. AITA. \n\nAnd before you say I am wrong my best friend told me he’s seen a video with her and this other guy while we were together but didn’t want to tell me because he said I was so happy and always told him how much I loved her and wanted to be with her forever",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 49,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for being upset when my brother wanted to charge me $100 an hour for a favour?",
    "body": "My brother does interior design and landscape design. I recently moved into a house and have my first yard and I don't know much about plants. We regularly go shopping together, sometimes to plant nurseries to pick up flowers for our houses. I mentioned that some time while we're shopping I would like it if he could point out what plants would work well for the space and give me other advice. He instantly responded \"Ok but that would be $100 an hour.\" I just said \"Oh\" and didn't bring it up again but I was very hurt by his response. I'm not sure if I'm reacting appropriately, on one hand I am asking him to do something for free that's his job, and it's not out of line to ask someone to pay you for something you do professionally, family or not. \n\n​\n\nOn the other hand, because of our background, I think me wanting a favour from him is appropriate. Every computer or smartphone he's had I've set up for him, and I've gone over to his house to take care of viruses on his computer easily 3-4 times. I've never charged him for it or held it over his head and behaved like now he owes me something. I regularly make a lot of the food he serves at parties (not potlucks), have spent time promoting his business with him, I've cleaned his house and taken care of his dog when he's been too sick to. He very rarely does favours for me, which I've never been upset by, he's busy and before this hasn't really been in a position to help me out with anything. Am I being entitled by feeling hurt or even wanting him to help me for free in the first place?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 50,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for giving the keys to a car back to my friend.",
    "body": "So in March my friend let me borrow his old car while I saved up for my own. Well I finally bought a car on Monday and tried to make plans with him to get the car back to him from the dealership where I had left it. We made plans for Saturday afternoon and he bailed so we rescheduled for today (Sunday)  we planned to play some rounds of disc golf and when we were done we were going to pick up the car. Well he changed plans and bailed again at the end of our last round.  So I said here man take the key back and he was really confused and said he didnt know where it was at and told me to text him the address to the dealership. \n\nWell after I drove away I got some aggressive texts insulting me saying to never ask him again for anything (I never asked in the first place though ironically) he told me I was a fucking dipshit and it was my responsibility to get his car back to his house after I borrowed it. And I told him that I agree with that for the most part but after him bailing on my back to back days that clearly it wasnt a big concern to him and that id still help him get the car back to his house but I wasnt going to keep trying to make plans with him to get it back if hes the reason the plans fall through. So am I the asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 51,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for throwing someone at my party to the ground",
    "body": "Hey. So I was having a party of just friends that I know pretty well. One one the friends that is more on the side of an acquaintance, let’s call him joe, brought a +1 that I did not know, who we’ll call dough.\n\nI was alright with dough because he was joes friend, but then he started doing very rude stuff at my house. We had the Nintendo switch out playing smash, and every time he lost he would throw the controller down to the carpet.\n\nNo one else was doing that, and he kept just throwing it to the ground like if it was his stuff. We didn’t get too and because the ground was carpet, but we were annoyed nonetheless. \n\nThen later in the night, he kept opening his beers on my WOODEN furniture. He def dented my table and some other things. I was not ok with this. I mean, the table wasn’t really mine, it was a house mates, and the same for the other furniture, so I called him out. \n\nDespite that, he kept doing it, so inicie decided to take the beers away from the party and just leave the canned ones to avoid confrontation. \n\nLater, he was talking about how some beers he brought sucked, and then I jokingly replied, “yeah they suck” and he got extremely defensive about it. He kept saying “fuck you” and “what did you say bro,” and then he squared up to my face.  I told him to gtfo of my house and he said he wouldn’t. \n\nThat’s when I got mad and I decided to hold his fists because I did not want to fight.  I then told him to gtfo, and I then pushed  him all the way through the hall way through out the door because he kept pushing me and trying to free his hands like he was going to punch me. \n\nWhen I got to the door, he pushed against the wall and tried pushing me down, but I remember all the wrestling from hs loll and just flipped him to the floor. \n\nNow I know there are no rules in fight, but while I had him in the floor, he kept trying to bite me. I just grabbed his head and pushed it to the floor to keep him from actually biting me. \n\n\nI then lifted him and literally threw him out the door. His friend left shortly after. He was  “sorry”. \n\n\nI live with a bunch of other people, so I didn’t want to fight in our house. The thing is though, some of the housemates were there but while I was holding him, they did nothing   They heard me tell him to gtfo, but they just watched.  Like wtf? Should I feel guilty? Did I do wrong? AITA? Are the Roomate’s the assholes? The guy?\n\nJust venting. Sorry. Don’t know who is the asshole. ",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 52,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not spending an entire day with my mother in law, every weekend?",
    "body": "My husband and I have been married for 5 years. He has a very close relationship with his mother, as he is the only child and she is a single parent.\n\nSince we have been together, we have had a routine where we spend one entire day with my mother in law (before lunch to after dinner) every weekend. My husband and I both work long hours at fairly stressful jobs during the week, so lately I've started wishing that I had more of our own / my own free time to relax on the weekends. My mother in law is not exactly an easy going person and can be quite demanding, so it can be tiring to spend the entire day with her, and not what I would personally choose to do to relax.\n\nI don't want to force my husband to spend less time with his mother because they are very close. I'm happy for him to continue seeing her for a full day every weekend, and happy to join them for the occasional day or meal. But I don't really want to have to join them every single weekend anymore, as I would like some weekends for my own time.\n\nMy husband is a bit upset by this and thinks it means I dislike his mother, but I really don't, I just don't want to be forced to spend that much time with anybody (apart from my husband).\n\nSo - AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 53,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for making my dad's phone bill go up?",
    "body": "I'm 22F and live on my own. About seven months ago I went to Europe and my dad kept calling me even though I tried to tell him not to because of the rates. I was only gone for a week. He called me a few weeks after I got back and said that the phone bill cost a lot more than usual due to data usage. I apologized and offered to pay him back for the extra part. He said he didn't want me to pay him back and that he was getting an unlimited data plan so it wouldn't be an issue anymore. Ok, great I thought. Fast forward to now. A few weeks ago I moved into a new place. They said they had wifi before my roommate and I moved in but we found out that that was only for the amenities, so we went a week without wifi. I used a ton of data on my phone because I thought that my dad had the unlimited wifi plan. Also please note that I did tell him I was going to get my own phone plan and everything when I was done with college but he insisted I stay on his. Now the bill was almost an extra $200, and I would offer to make up for it by paying him back, but he also said he was getting the unlimited data plan seven months ago, so I thought that the data was unlimited. Now I've found out that wasn't true at all and I would have NEVER used that much data if I had known. AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 54,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for blocking my ex after taking my car from her driveway",
    "body": "About 2 years ago, I took on a lease to get a car for an ex of mine. Loan is in my name so it's my property. We split up about 3 months after this happened and the breakup was messy, I basically kicked her out of the apartment after giving a couple of weeks to pack her belongings. She had a kid, no job, and had to find a place to live, so I figured I would at least let her keep the car until she got back on her feet.\n\nAfter a few months she got a job and started paying me back for the monthly payments on the lease. This worked pretty well for about a year. About 3-4 months ago she stopped paying me and said she was struggling financially. I figured it wouldnt take long for her to get back on track, but I've sent her multiple messages to seek payments and she has been either saying she needs more time or doesnt respond. Given knowledge of her behavior and personality, I'm positive she has no intentions of paying for the car and is hoping I'm too lazy and nonconfrontational to do anything about it.\n\nI've decided I'm ready to get my car back so I can sell it and use some of my money to pay off the lease. She has the only copy of the keys, so I will go to the dealership I purchased the car at and have another copy of the keys made. After this I will probably show up in the middle of the night to her neighborhood and use the keys to unlock the car and drive out of her driveway. I would leave any bulky items in front the house and drive off.\n\nAt this point I'm ready to cut the ex out so I can move on with my life. Obviously losing the car would be a big deal for the ex as it's her main mode of transportation and would affect if she needs to take her child anywhere or get to work. However she has made no effort to obtain a cheaper car and return mine so this is my only option. Since I had lent her the car willingly I dont think this would qualify as a stolen vehicle and police wont get involved in civil matters. Also the car is worth more than 10k, so this is beyond the scope of small claims court and I have no interest in the headache of taking this to civil court.\n\nOnce I have the car I was hoping to block my ex's number and other social media accounts. I would send her a brief message that I would return the rest of her belongings on my way to work the very next day or the day after, and then block her again. The only thing I can think of is if I dont say anything initially, she will obviously freak out and may think the car has been stolen (I doubt she would make the leap of logic that I had spare keys made or would tow the car myself), and I dont know how mean it would be to let her freak out about that.\n\nWIBTA for taking the car and then blocking her afterwards, only sending a message a couple of hours or maybe more later to say I took the car and will return belongings in the future?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 55,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not wanting to buy my brother and sister in law an anniversary present?",
    "body": "It's their first year of marriage next week and my sister (biological, not my sister in law) set up a WhatsApp group for the rest of my siblings, asking us to each give money towards a present for them. It's a gift card. \n\nI know there's the whole paper tradition etc, but I assumed that was for the couple themselves to gift each other. Not that it matters but kinda does, they both have high position jobs and are going to Italy for their anniversary. \n\nI already gave a generous amount for their wedding as a gift last year and am good for Christmas (I'm the only one who actually buys my sister in law something, besides my mother). I definitely would buy something for the landmark years but the first? Is that not a bit much? \n\nWouldn't expect it from anyone myself... Don't want to be the ass who is the only one who says no. I did reply saying what about a card from all of us, which is a nice gesture and keeps in the (antiquated) paper theme. \n\nJust wanted to hear from other people what they think? Is this a done thing? Haven't had much experience with marriage so tbh I could be a total asshole.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 56,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for calling out Anti-Semitic relative(s)?",
    "body": "My relatives are all over the globe. We don't really chat much, because they claim not to use the internet and calls are expensive. Their words, not mine. We used to visit them from time to time, and I always got along with my aunt when we were there. Until the last time I visited her house. \n\nA close relative (CR) and I stayed at her house. We were trying to settle an inheritance in which Mean Uncle (MU) stiffed us for a huge sum of money. This is important.\n\nI always loved my aunt, because she wasn't involved in the fighting, and her son and I have always been closerthanthis. This time though I noticed a painting hanging in the living-room. An old Jewish man in a black suit and payes holding a bag of money surrounded by more bags. I asked her what it was about, and she told me it was meant to bring money into the house. I told her that it was anti-Semitic and explained why. CR was also in the room but said nothing. \n\nI told CR how hurtful this was in private (my dad was a Holocaust survivor but he wasn't religious). CR told me I was overreacting and they couldn't bring up the matter as we were guests and said aunt had a nervous condition. But CR saw nothing wrong in bringing MU over knowing there would be fighting, because there always has been. My aunt had nothing to do with the inheritance. She and MU haven't even spoken as adults, and they live in the same city.\n\nI tried to raise the matter several times in a polite way, explaining why this was hurtful, but all I got out of it was my aunt showing me pictures of random people she knew, asking me to tell her if they were Jewish, and talking about her homeland the way overly zealous patriots will talk about the Fatherland, minus the tears. My mother was born there, so they kind of consider me a local in a way, and for the most part it really is a nationalistic cess pool. That painting was everywhere in that area, sold on markets, and in souvenir stores. I was so mad, I got into it with a woman selling them, and the outcome was CR siding with the woman and the woman saying, \"I have Jewish friends. They never said a word.\"\n\nI haven't spoken to my aunt since we left, and it's been quite a few years. Haven't told her son, because he idolizes his mother, and to be perfectly honest I'm scared of finding out he's the same. He's more open-minded, and less patriotic, but commented the rampant Anti-Semitic in his country with, \"I believe it was the Jews who killed Jesus, but I don't believe they should still be punished for it.\"\n\nSo, there you have it. AITA?\n\nETA: please excuse typos as on phone.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 57,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for an Unfortunate Ultimatum?",
    "body": "So my girlfriend and I do long distance since graduating from high school, about 10 hours. We both love each other very dearly, and I know neither of us would intentionally do anything to harm the other.\n\nA little bit about me. I don't drink at parties. My girlfriend has not either, but she recently decided that she wants to because she finds parties too boring without the booze. I personally am not comfortable with this development in our relationship, and I told her so. All of her friends tell her I'm a controlling asshole. I did a lot of thinking, and I decided that this is a dealbreaker for me, especially because she won't have anyone to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid.\n\nI talked to her, explained how I felt and said that if she decides to start drinking at parties, then we can't work anymore. I don't personally judge people that party like that at all, but it's not something I'm comfortable with in my relationship. I'm not trying to force her not to drink, but it's something that I know I can't live with and I felt like it would be unfair to both of us if I didn't tell her now instead of letting it fester.\n\nEDIT: I want to make it clear that she is very conflicted about it. Neither of us wants to break up but I know that our relationship won't do well if this is the way it works.\n\nAITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 58,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not telling someone the tag was still on their clothes?",
    "body": "Walking into work this morning I noticed a beautiful woman walk in front of me. As they should, my eyes drift to the ass region where I notice she still has the tag on her jeans. I decided not to tell her in fear that I would be judged for looking at her ass. Am I the asshole for letting her go into work with the tag still on her clothes just because I didn't want her to know I was glancing at her assets?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 59,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not wanting be around my sister-in-law because she's dating a married man?",
    "body": "My sister-in-law recently started dating a married man, she's not shy about the situation and neither is he. His wife doesn't know about it yet but by the way they're acting I don't think it'll take too long for her to find out. This has caused a lot of issues in the family as my father-in-law and mother-in-law both refuse to speak to her. Meanwhile, my husband and his older sister are certain that this is just a lapse of judgment on their younger sister's part and that soon enough she'll break up with her boyfriend. Because of that, my husband wants us to assure her that she can come to us if she has any problems because he doesn't want to push her away. Except I don't want to do that, I find it repulsive and absurd what she and her boyfriend are doing is terrible. The man has kids and a wife that have no idea of what's going on behind their backs and he's just proudly walking around with my sister-in-law like he doesn't care if they find out. While my sister-in-law goes around proudly stating that she's dating a married man and can't wait for him to get a divorce so they can get married. My husband keeps trying to convince me that she's probably going through something and while she has always been a very responsible person I don't want to stick around to watch this unfold regardless of the outcome. I truly despise what she and her boyfriend are doing because even if they don't stay together they still chose to be in this relationship at some point. I also hate how my husband and his older sister keep making it seem like their sister is in this unwillingly.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 60,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for speaking about what the future holds for me in my career?",
    "body": "Recently, in July, I (27 M), got accepted into a medical school on my country. Getting into that school was a great achievement for me, as the decision to get into medicine came after I decided to change my career. I do have a bachelor's degree in biology and a master's in cell biology. However, my fiancee (26 F), today got very emotional, and started to complain about my current behavior. She says that I constantly talk about what I want to do when I finally get the degree (Which I do, she's totally right there).\n\n​\n\nThe thing got really badly when she told me she thought it was unfair that doctors gain so much money, at least in our country. I mean, I totally understand her, as it is true. Doctors win a lot more than other professions, which isn't really fair IMO as well. She's a Civil Engineer, and right now our country is going for a recess, thus the construction field is a bit cold. She does work, but she doesn't really gain as much as she could (This is what she said to me. Not my worlds)\n\n​\n\nShe told me, while she cried, that she was very emotional and self-conscious about her own career and field, and that me being so happy with what I was doing, and talking about made her feel worst. I mean, I wasn't doing this on purpose. I didn't even notice I was doing that. I just got way too excited, because I'm actually on a field I'm enjoying myself a lot! (I'm constantly at the hospital. Our way of medical training is a bit different than the traditional).\n\n​\n\nEssentially, I do feel for her, and I would hate to put her through a situation that she will feel bad. But I can't stop the feeling that I'm not that bad for being happy about something good happening for me. So, what do you guys think? Am I the Asshole here?\n\n​\n\nPS: Sorry for any grammar mistakes. English isn't my native language!",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 61,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for getting mad at my friend for not letting a stranger in his car?",
    "body": "Disclaimer: this happened during January or February, back when we had record low temperatures from the polar vortex.\n\nSo my friend invited me over to his dorm to cook with him, he picked me up because he lives on the opposite side of campus. and even with layers of jackets walking outside was literally a nightmare because it was like -15 out and we had CRAZY high winds. after we parked we had to walk for 4 minutes to get to his dorm and when i got to his dorm i felt like i was freeze dried. \n\nWhen he drove me back, I noticed a guy walking from the off-campus apartments to another area on campus which would of been a 12-15 minute walk outside, he didn’t look like he had a lot of money and wasn’t wearing a jacket or any gear to keep warm, he was only wearing jeans and a hoodie and some sneakers. he literally could lose his limbs from the temperature. \n\nI ask my friend if he could offer him a ride and he goes “no, i’m not letting a stranger in my car” I tell him, “please he could die from the temperature” and my friend goes “i’m not letting a stranger in my car, he’s dumb for going out like that” and he literally drove away. Is my friend in the right or am i the asshole for pressuring him?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 62,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for trying to sell my playstation",
    "body": "I (14M) got a playstation for Christmas as a gift from my grandparents. I recently got a couple of bad grades and got it taken up for about five months. The deal was I could get it back during the summer/ when I get all A’s. I decided when I got it back I would sell because Gaming had gotten kind of boring and I knew that my playstation would be taken up again if I got another bad grade but my mom wouldn’t let me because she said that’s it’s my “grandpa and grandmas” since they bought it. I feel that since I got it as a present, it’s my possession now meaning I can do whatever I basically want with it for example: selling it.  AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 63,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for uninviting a friend from a trip we've been planning for months?",
    "body": "I've been planning a trip during the end of october to celebrate my birthday. I've been planning for months and have quite a few people going, including a good friend of mine, R. R bought his plane ticket months ago and is looking forward to partying.\n\nHowever, since buying the ticket, R has also developed alcoholism and been very weird when drinking. He has untapped sexuality issues and has tried multiple times to drunkenly make out with my SO, S. This has made S so uncomfortable that he refuses to go on the trip because of R and his drunken tendencies. \n\nR has also gotten mildly insufferable in the recent months, and has made me feel uncomfortable when we're alone, too. I resent that he's so out of control when drunk that he's turned my SO off to the trip (or being around him on general), and I don't really care for him to come with us. \n\nWIBTA if I refunded him his money (plane ticket and AirBnB) and told him not to come? And if I'm NTA, how the hell would I even approach that situation?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 64,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for continuing to argue against my parents decision to move to South Africa?",
    "body": "TL;DR at the bottom\n\nRecently my parents said that they have plans to move to South Africa because of my Dads work (He works as a engineer for a company that builds mining tech) and that we would have to leave one on my cats behind since he is old and has a wound on his eye (He's in my post history if you want to see). Now the big problem I have with this is that when I was a mere 1 year old baby, my family moved to Australia and lived there for around 9 and a half years in which I changed schools 3 times because of my dads job then my parents decided to move back to Brazil leaving my two older brothers behind for Uni. This series of events let me a bit depressed since I hardly speak with my brothers in person and I had to leave a bunch of friends behind that lead to me Losing contact with them but after moving into a medium sized town called Mariana and staying there for 4 years(The town where I got two of my cats that includes the old one), my parents again decided to move to a big city nearby called Belo Horizonte in Which I am living in right now and it has been about 4 months since I moved here. This whole process has left me really depressed with the cultural shock and the major changing of things. I had my life planned out from doing until year 2 of highschool here and doing the rest in Australia to do uni there and join the army but the News of moving to a new continent and leaving everyone I know behind including one of my cats that I am unseparable from since he pratically comforts me and reduces my anxiety left me angry since Whenever I try to argue about it my parents Just laugh it off and say I'll change my mind when I go there. So WIBTA if I continue arguing against them or should think about my dads job situation?\n\nTL;DR: Parents want  to move to different country after not talking to me and deciding to leave my beloved cat behind when we actually move next year.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 65,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For considering not giving my daughter money for her surgeries.",
    "body": "Throwaway\n\nMy wife and I are considered lower middle class and have three children 24,16 and 11. Three years ago, our oldest came out to us as transgender. We told her we would help in any way to ease her transition. She said she had everything covered since she already finished school, moved out of our home, working a decent job and had considerable savings. She had already spoken to her insurance company about coverage, seen a doctor about starting HRT and was seeing a therapist. I felt she had things in order, but my wife had the foresight to start putting money aside for my daughter, so we could help reduce any future costs.\n\nTwo years ago, my daughter moved to a more friendly LGBTQ+ city for better job opportunities and to have a more expanded community. Last year, she opened a second Instagram account and would post about expensive trips she was taking with her boyfriend and friends. My wife and I grew suspicious and asked about how she was paying for the trips. She explained she saved for the trips and her boyfriend was helping to pay. Since she is an adult, we didn’t dig deeper.\n\nA week ago, my daughter came home for my 50th birthday and told us that she was ready to start scheduling her surgeries. Insurance will cover bottom surgery. However certain ones like, breast augmentation and surgery to gain a feminine face and body are considered cosmetic and are not covered.\n\nWhen asked about how she attended to pay for these, she said that she wanted us to pay for everything.\n\nMy wife told her about the money that was set aside which amounts to about $4000. My daughter said she needed over $40 grand for the surgeries and possibly more to cover her living expenses, since she won’t be working while she recovers. We asked about the money she saved. She lied and said it wasn’t enough. When pushed more, she broke down and admitted that she had no more saving and that she was in debt. The city she moved to had a higher cost of living then she expected, plus the trips she took were financed by her savings, credit cards and payday loans.\n\nI told her we were not in a position to give her $40 grand, but the money that was saved could go towards her debt. She cried and reiterated she needed the full $40 grand or she would never be a real woman. My wife and I tried to come up with reasonable solutions, but my daughter kept insisting for the full amount. At some point, my wife told her that she was being selfish for not thinking about her siblings who still need our support. The two argued and my daughter eventually stormed out of the house.\n\nNow I’m at a crossroads, I am considering getting a second job to help my daughter and so she doesn’t do anything she’ll regret, but then again, I feel that she needs to learn my wife and I can’t fix everything. AITA\n\n **Edit: Thank you for the comments. I talked to my wife and showed her this post. We agreed that I won’t get a second job.** **We are going take some of the suggestions given and speak with our daughter about a solution**",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 66,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For going to a \"trans only\" LGBT safe space with my trans fiance'?",
    "body": "Long story short me and my fiance' frequently go to our local  LGBT center where they host a monthly transgender initiative. The event used to be lead by someone who allowed cis people to attend as long as a trans person invited them. At the start of  the year someone new took over the group and unbeknownst to both of us, cis people are not allowed to attend these meetings under any circumstances. I was frankly suprised since I was pretty much silent during the entire meeting.\n\nI was called out being at the meeting and my partner caught a couple of stares from the event leader. Me and my  fiance' discussed the matter afterwards and he dosen't feel comfortable attending in the near future given what happened. While I understand the role that safe spaces play in protecting marginalized groups, it seems like this new policy is counterproductive and will only encourage group think. \n\nSo reddit, AITA for invading a trans only safe space?\n\nCan someone break down the rationale behind this new policy?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 67,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if i tell my dying grandmother i can't visit her?",
    "body": "Some context here - I'm a full time university student, and I occasionally do volunteer work. My grandmother got diagnosed with terminal leukemia last year, and spent about four months hospitalised, with an awful immune system. I would visit her every day, and sometimes between classes, and tried to study in the hospital room. I didn't particularly like being there, obviously, but I love my grandmother dearly. However, both my social life and GPA suffered. \n\nSince then, she has been discharged, and stays at home, with the exception of her monthly chemotherapy sessions. If I don't visit her every day, quite literally, she gets upset, and asks about me (by name specially), as I'm her favourite grandson. \n\nSo, WBITA if I tell her that although I love her, I do also need to maintain my GPA, and sometimes hang out with friends, but I would be more than happy to call her every day?\n\n(I couldn't figure out where to include this but it's a forty minute drive from my house to hers, and about thirty from university to her house)",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 68,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for having my dog inside, even though my flatmate's door doesn't shut?",
    "body": "This feels like such a strange situation, but I need some input from someone outside the house.\n\n\nI moved into a new shared house at the start of July, with 3 existing flatmates. I have a 2 year old, otherwise very well behaved, mixed breed dog. I mean, he's as close to perfect as possible. We train in agility, obedience, and dog sports, visit rest homes, and he's calm, quiet and has no other issues.\n\n\nMy other 2 flatmates have no issue with my dog. One is ambivalent, the other adores him. The flatmate in question, however, I'll call T. T has a background with dogs in this house - I've been told she had a border collie puppy whom she kept outside without shelter, which was taken away by the council for howling constantly. This all happened before I moved in. She is of the opinion that dogs should be outside, but she agreed when I moved in that my dog was an inside dog.\n\n\nNow, T's door doesn't fit in the frame. This hasn't been a major issue for her apparently, but it means that the door is not able to be fully closed. I also have recently discovered, T has a habit of leaving food on her floor. Generally, I watch my dog whenever he is free in the house, and he stays in my room when I'm out. I admit that there are times I've left my door open while studying and kept an ear out, but he's never been destructive or much of a nuisance so I thought all was well. I also assumed that by leaving the door open, my flatmate didn't have anything dangerous in her room. \n\n\nI got a message from T over the weekend that my dog had been going through the bin and the food in her room and had eaten the chocolate base of a pie she'd left on the floor. She said this had been an ongoing issue and that he'd been pushing his way in, and that I needed to stop him from going in. My thought process is that if she refuses to shut her door, she needs to accept that my dog can get in there and not leave dangerous food on the floor, at least until I can work with him on boundary training at her door. The situation has escalated and I've reached a bit of an impasse here with T, so Reddit, AITA?\n\n\nEdit: the message I received over the weekend was the first I've heard from her about this.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 69,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA Selling my roommates car?",
    "body": "AITHA for selling my roommates car and keeping the money. So my ex roommate is from Spain. He left the country and tried to get back in and they denied him entry because he overstayed his stay in the US. He was on a tourist visa. He left his dog, car and all of his belongings. I have taken care of his dog since December. I also have a dog. He has only sent $50 since. I have taken her to the vet because of fleas, a handful of baths and always has the best food, toys and snacks. I am moving at the end of the month and the pet deposit is $500 per dog. He gave me permission to sell the car in his name, but he is asking too much. I am selling it for below the Kbb value at $1200. I think its only fair that I keep the money. And also rent for the dog is $25 per dog.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 70,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for breaking up with my girlfriend after i found out her name is the same as my sister’s?",
    "body": "I met this girl who called herself Bella on tinder and i thought she was great. We got a beer and eventually started dating and have been together for 3 weeks. I always assumed her name was Bella so we kept it at that. Eventually her Facebook popped up on my recommended and i saw her real name was Sarah and bella was her middle name. I asked her about it and she said bella is her middle name but that’s what she likes to be called.\n\nAfter since the incident though, i just can’t see her the same. I can’t stand being with someone who has the same name as my sister. Its so fucking weird and whenever I’m with her i think of my sister. I haven’t been able to get hard around her and I’m thinking of breaking up with her. I want our life to be normal before i found out her name was Sarah but i can’t. WIBTA if i break up over it?\n\nPlease don’t request for relationship advice, i want to know if this is an asshole thing to do\n\nAny recommendations of what i should do. I don't want to break up with her but idk how to handle it because i just keep thinking of my sister when i think of her and its so weird",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 71,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA If I sent a picture of my friend/ roomate's bedroom to his parents?",
    "body": "So I have known this person for basically my whole life. We have been best friends through elementary up until now. The past 8 years my friend has struggled with depression, alcoholism, and other general destructive behaviors. His bed is a mountain of empty whiskey bottles and his room has about 65 empty pizza boxes ( thats the only thing he will eat). He is not the same person that was my friend but a shell of a person.  Me and his close friends have tried everything we can think of... tried to get him to go to therapy and A.A, talked to him, tough love, sitting down with him and explaining how his behavior hurts us, trying to get him to do anything that would improve his situation. None of it has made a scratch and the problem has only persisted ( maybe even gotten worse ). Recently me and a friend talked to his parents and told them that he was in a bad place, leaving out the massive amount of alcohol he consumes. They spent the next couple of weeks paying more attention to him, calling him more often, and coming to see him ( we both moved away from our hometown ). He has always been good at playing things off so of course after their \"thorough investigation \" they both concluded that he was just in a rut and would come out of it. I would agree with them but i have lived with him over the last 5 years ( mostly because Im scared of what will happen when he is alone) and I know its not a rut. Its something he needs serious help with and if its not soon I'm afraid he will drink himself to death. So i want to know WIBTA if i took a picture of his room and sent it to his parents for them to truly see what he has become?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 72,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I changed my name?",
    "body": "Throwaway for privacy reasons...\n\n​\n\nSo I am an 18 year old Female who is starting college in August. My name is Ezria and I absolutely hate it. In middle school and high school, I was made fun of so much because of my name and what it relates to. My parents gave me it because they liked the meaning but in pop culture it means something different. \n\n​\n\nEzria means a feminine girl name but it also is the \"shipname\" of two people on the show Pretty Little Liars. Basically this girl dates her teacher and they end up getting married. It's kinda an inappropriate relationship and everyone always relates my name to that. I had notes put in my locker, had people write my name on the whiteboard, etc.. all because of my name. Because I am starting college, I want to change my name and start over fresh. I don't want anyone to make that connection anymore because I am so sick of it.\n\n​\n\nI told my parents what I wanted to do and they both screamed at me and gave me a lecture about being \"ungrateful\" and would be a \"disappointment\" if I changed my name and I should be happy for the name I have.\n\n​\n\nSo WIBTA if I changed my name even if my parents don't support it?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 73,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA - Not wanting to help the boyfriend paint",
    "body": "AITA for not wanting to help the bf paint?\n\nBoyfriend just bought a new house that we live in together. It was perfectly move-in ready but he wanted to do several construction projects that were invasive and messy. As a result, the space is quite a wreck and has been for a month.\n\n\n I just wrapped a week long contract job that was very emotionally and physically draining. During the time that I was on this contract job I was away from the house from early in the morning until very late into the evenings and even spent the night on location a time or two. I have been quite exhausted. I guess boyfriend has used this time to clean up the mess and get things done. Connected the washer and dryer, started painting ceilings.\n\nBoyfriend and I carved out a little bit of time to have tea and spend time together during this job. It was then that he expressed that he feels that I am running myself ragged and then running out of energy for our relationship. I expressed that I am very tired but can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I expressed that I needed to complete some things, get my bearings and then I'd have more time to focus on house things. The contract job ended today and I will be getting an extended break from my actual job in about 3 weeks.\n\nI thought that boyfriend understood my level of exhaustion until he asked me to please come home from the end of this contract job today and tape off the ceilings so that he/we could paint tonight. I initially expressed that I knew I would be tired and he said that I didn't need to tape off the ceilings. I felt guilty and unsupportive so I begrudgingly said I'd do it.\n\nHe texted me today as I am running around for this job and suggested that tonight we make dinner together (our stove is not even plugged in...our dishes are not unpacked, the cabinet doors aren't even on) drink wine and paint the ceilings. I was initially pretty pissed because we had JUST discussed how taxing things had been and that I was just a few weeks away from having more time. And I was annoyed that he couldn't wait a single day to start working on projects. And annoyed that this seemed more important than spending quality time together, though we would be spending time together while painting ceilings.\n\nI didn't say anything about it because I thought that I was maybe being overly emotional or difficult. But when he got home I was pretty upset and let him know that I thought he was being pretty unempathetic by piling work onto my plate the very evening I had wrapped this job.\n\nThis devolved into an argument when all I wanted was an evening off and for him to acknowledge that he had been kind of insensitive.\n\nAm I the asshole here?\n",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 74,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for thinking my wife ruined Father's Day?",
    "body": "My wife and I are going through a tough patch in our marriage. Little things become big things. We're riding it out, but I get lost in the thick of it sometimes and I can't tell what way is up.\n\n\nMy wife's pregnant half sister went into labour on Friday, so my wife dropped everything (including cancelling the marriage counselor) and decided to go help out. She planned this without telling me, although I knew there was a chance she would go. I don't begrudge her going at all, because we desperately needed help when we were pregnant, and this was a time to help others. We only have one car, so she waited for me to come home from work Friday afternoon and left pretty soon after. She took our two eldest children with her (my stepchildren) and left our two toddlers with me - so she could take the eldest to see their grandparents who lived locally to my wife's half sister, all about 3 hours away.\n\n\nShe promised (pinky promised!) she'd be back in time on Sunday to share Father's Day with me, and so that all our children could be together for me. She even said she'd be back in time to prepare a father's Day meal for me. I was looking forward to this because for the last two years I've had to be away for work on father's Day.\n\n\nI had a pleasant enough weekend at home with our two youngest, but it's never the same when half your family is gone. I got plenty of message from my wife saying she missed us etc.\n\n\nMy wife returned home around 7pm Sunday evening and almost immediately walking from the car she said \"oh I'm too tired to cook you dinner\". When I said she could have given me warning that I needed to make other arrangements she said she'd been too busy to tell me. \n\n\nShe then got herself some snacks to eat, let the two eldest get their own food, and I ended up cooking and eating my own father's Day meal by myself. Any other day this would not really be an issue, but I felt sad and aggrieved that she would be so indifferent to my feelings on father's Day. However, when I tried asking her about it, she went on about how I never think about her feelings, and that I've missed other family occasions before (I'm in the military and away a lot).\n\n\nDoes it make me the asshole for reading too much into this? Should I just let it go? When I think about it, it doesn't seem a bit deal, but then it does.\n\n\nTwo other points: 1. She did get the kids to write a card and give me chocolates - I wasn't forgotten. 2. On mother's Day, I cooked her a meal which she refused to eat because she was angry about something the kids did, and then called it the worst mother's Day she'd had - so I know she values such days herself.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 75,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for sitting in the window seat on a plane and keeping the shade down?",
    "body": "This happened over the weekend, and at first I didn't think I was TA but it's been on my mind since then so I figured why not see what reddit thinks. \n\nSo I'm travelling back home from an out-of-town wedding and I bought tickets with one of those airlines that don't have assigned seats. I was in the last boarding group so I was amazed when I saw an open window seat near the front of the plane and nabbed it. There were two older women sitting in the middle seat and the aisle seat in the same row. When I asked them to let me in to the row they both gave a big sigh and were obviously not happy to let me in, but hey it's a plane right? No one's really happy on a plane. I didn't think much of it.\n\nThe flight was about 4.5 hours long so I settled in, no issues yet. As we are about 45-50min away we can see some of the city we're landing in, but we're still on top of the clouds and it's super bright in my eyes. I stick it out for a bit but eventually have to lower the shade because the sun in bouncing off the clouds and is just uncomfortable for me. A minute or so after I close the shade the lady next to me taps me on the shoulder (I had headphones on) and asks that I re-open the shade. I politely tell her sorry, the sun is really bright in my eyes so I won't open it back up, put my headphones back on and think that's it. The lady taps me again on the shoulder and angrily informs me that they paid money for the flight and to open my window. I again say sorry, not going to do it, and next thing I know she's leaning over me trying to open the shade. By instinct I block her arm I turned to her and say \"sorry, if you wanted to see out the window you should have sat in this seat\" She looks shocked that I had blocked her arm and starts to protest again and I say again, \"if you wanted the window you should have sat in this seat\", and put my headphones back on. \n\nHere's the part where I'm not sure if I am TA - I had been planning on putting the shade back up once we were out of the cloud bank, but being petty I decided not to. If she hadn't have gotten angry or literally thrust her arm across my body I probably would have re-opened it for them. I feel like she had the opportunity to guarantee an open window and she chose not to take it. But I can kinda see her point of paying for the flight just the same as I, but idk if that justifies her actions.\n\nSo reddit, AITA for not raising the window shade so the ladies can see out of them? \n\ntl;dr - flight too bright, l turn off the light, lady starts fight, was I in the right?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 76,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not buying parents birthday gifts?",
    "body": "long time lurker but finally made an account to ask your opinions.  \n\n\nSo I (23F) live with my parents while my brother (21M)  lives with his GF.   \nThis week my parents both have their birthdays, my mom is turning 50 but her and dad went on a vacation to celebrate and no other celebration will be held at home since she doesnt want to make a big deal out of it.  \nI baked a few sweets for her with caramel and chocolate since I love baking and people usually enjoy eating my sweets.   \nMy parents have explicitly stated they dont want us (my brother and me) to spend money on them. So I didnt. I have in the past still bought them gifts since I feel weird for not giving them anything at all, but they always told me they appreciated it but I shouldnt have.   \n\n\nSo I gave my mom the sweets and she liked them and everyone else enjoyed them as well. No biggie. But then my brother and his gf bring a platter of gifts, a few of them definitely being very expensive. I told my mom I felt a little weird for not getting her anything, she said it was fine but my brother and gf were very disapproving of me. They gave me weird looks and acted very condescending. In the past other family has also expressed their feelings towards me not buying my parents gifts, they think its inappropriate/asshole-ish of me. So even though my parents told me time and time again they dont care for gifts, the rest of the family + brother&gf think Im being an asshole for not buying them anything....but am I really?\n\nUPDATE: thank you guys so much for the comments. I've gently explained to my  brother how my mom felt about gifts and that I wanted to respect those wishes but still give something small. He was sort of \"meh\" about it. But I've come to see the only thing that matters in this situafion is what my parents think and say. (Also to stop being insecure about stuff like this!)",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 77,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I move my dads money?",
    "body": "My dad is having a LOT of memory problems, so much so that I'm filing for guardianship with the court this week. However, he lives with some people that use his debit card to make purchases and I know he isn't able to give permission. My name is also on his bank account as a joint account holder and I'm so afraid that they'll go clean the account out and spend every dime of it with him incapable of consenting.\n\nWould I be the asshole if I went and moved money to another account with his name on it that they can't access and gave my dad cash when he demanded or needed it?\n\nShould I wait until the court proceedings are finished?\n\nHis memory problems are so bad that while we were at the hospital yesterday he forgot several times why we were there, told the nurse the wrong problem, and asked why we made him have an IV while sitting in surgery pre-op. He's not aware of the next surgery he has to schedule because he's forgotten it from yesterday.\n\nYesterday, after surgery, they took him home (as one of them is his girlfriend) and immediately called me angrily demanding to know where his money was because his card wouldn't work. When they dragged him to the bank this morning and found out it was because of online charges that triggered fraud protection, they blamed me in front of the bank manager.\n\nI currently don't have a debit card for the account, only he does.\n\nUpdate: I did move the money to another account without a debit card. I've been to a lawyer and we have proceedings I don't know if I'm supposed to talk about yet. He can still go to the bank in person but I've been told I *should* make sure he has access for the next couple of days and that qualifies as enough access. I appreciate the advice everyone gave me. I'm so sorry about how many of you know exactly my situation from having to live through it. ",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 78,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not wanting to hug my mom?",
    "body": "Often times I’m uncomfortable with her hugging me and when I tell her to stop, she jokingly hits me. I say stop again and then she starts her lecture on how I’m inconsiderate towards others. That I should care more about her feelings and stop thinking about myself all the time. I get so sad that it turns into anger and that’s how we fight. It always starts like that, I’m not in the mood and get annoyed and she just pushes it. \nI guess I can try to not show my uncomfortableness when she does hug me. The thing is that there are times I want to hug her etc but when I’m not in the mood I’m really NOT in the mood. \nIt makes me hate myself, I don’t want to be inconsiderate but I also don’t want to hug her all the time.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 79,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for telling my brother his dad isnt my dad",
    "body": "So my brother is 11 and we have different dads, different last names etc. My dad isnt in my life and never has been. Ive never met him. He held me when i was born then dipped. My mom married when i was in first grade and i got a brother and a sister. My brother is nearly 12 and he knows i dont like my stepdad and that we dont get along. He doesnt know we arent related. \n\nHe knows we dont have the same last name and stuff but we just told him it was because our dad and my mom werent married when i was born. My brother and i are super close despite the 7 year age gap. He tells me everything. \n\nSo one night in my room we were playing video games together and it got brought up in conversation. It rarely comes up so i told him i wanted to tell him something, that it was very important and that he couldn't tell anyone. I explained to him that he is my stepdad, and that ive never met my real dad. I explained to him we are still the same and still brother and sister and that it doesnt make a difference. He told me that all makes sense and he wouldnt tell anyone. \n\nIt was all good and it felt good to tell him as i never talk about the situation to anyone. Yesterday i told my mom that i told him and she got livid. She told me it was not my place whatsoever, and that he was way to young to hear about that. She said i was completley out of line and its her job not mine. I told my mom that shes hardly told me anything about the other side of my family so thats not fair and he had a right to know. Its about me and not her. But shes so mad. Shes always been super sensitive on the topic of my dad and gets so emotional about it that i never ask anymore even though i strongly want to meet the other side of my family \n\nI havent talked to her about it but now that i think about it, it is her son and if she thinks he shouldn't have known then maybe he shouldnt have known. I think he is fine. He isnt scarred or sad or confused. I felt like he was plenty old and mature. We tell each other everything anyway. But did i go too far?\n\nEdit: Im his big sister\n\nEdit 2: Ive never called my step dad \"dad\" always by his first name",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 80,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I leave my dad without a car 30 minutes from home because he is giving blood?",
    "body": "So, this is more for the rest of my family then myself but here we go. \nAt the start of the week my dad decided he would be giving blood. He didn’t say where and he mentioned when but in broad strokes like “at the end of the week” \nToday I (and the rest of the driving members of my family) receive a call from my dad asking us to drive to a town thirty minutes away to pick him up. \nWhile this is certainly an inconvenience, especially since my sister is back in town for all of 2 days and we are spending that time driving we decide to help him out. \nUpon arriving, we discover that he is only just starting the process and then he ghosts us as we drive around looking for him/ a location to eat. As we approached the hour mark of this journey the discussion turned to just driving home and leaving my dad to his own devices. \nSo, the question is this, would we be dicks for leaving someone that was inconsiderate even when we chose to make the drive?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 81,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for sunbathing nude on my own property?",
    "body": "I am an overweight mid-30s woman.  I enjoy being nude outside, not for sexual reasons, but like an old hippie. I live in a city apartment so cannot go nude outside. I go home to my parent's lake house 2-3 times a year, and if my family and their direct neighbors are not home, I will usually go outside naked starting around dusk, having a nice naked bonfire or sitting on the dock in the dark.  My parents are aware that I do this and have no issue with it - and I warn them if the deer-sighting camera goes off unexpectedly so they can delete the evidence.\n\nToday, however, it was just a beautiful day out and I wanted to do some sunbathing.  I'm usually home in the cooler months so can't partake in this.  I brought a chair and a book out to the firepit, lit a fire, and reclined in the sun.  The house is on a semi-private lake (public boat access, no public beaches, no-wake rule so only fishing boats really) and is located in a small bay.  There are 4 houses in the bay; ours is the third one in.  There are only two spots in the yard you can really see the lake right now because of the trees - directly off the dock, and a clearing about 6 feet wide that points out to the main lake.  The bay is shallow and full of weeds; in 10 years, I've only ever seen one person fishing in it.  The area across from the houses is marshy and uninhabited.  The clearing is small enough and the bay is remote enough that I assumed people wouldn't see me - you're usually not looking onto the shore when you're fishing.  \n\nI guess I was wrong though!  When I went to set up my fire, I noticed I could see a fishing boat through the clearing, and I know the \"if you can see them, they can see you\" line of thought, so I got my fire and everything ready with my towel still on, and didn't remove it until I was reclined in the chair, with my back directly towards the clearing so minimal visual access.  At that time the boat was no longer there.  About 20 minutes later, I heard a motor and looked, and the same boat was back in the clearing - far enough out that I couldn't see faces but close enough that I could tell there were 2 middle-age men in the boat.  I drifted back to sleep.  A short time later, I heard the 'klunk' of something hitting my dock, so I sat up confused and grabbed my towel.  \n\nIt was the same fishing boat, who had motored over to yell at me.  They said it was illegal for me to be naked outside; I said no, I'm on my own private property, and our state doesn't have rules against it anyway.  They said they found it distracting while they were fishing, I said sorry but that's not my fault, and they said they were going to report me to the DNR for interfering with their fishing.  I shrugged and said sorry, hope you have a better day, and out of politeness gathered my things and went inside.  They boated away and I haven't seen them on the lake since.\n\nI don't feel I did anything wrong, and I tried to be respectful (covered when walking around, faced my chair away from the lake), but AITA for being naked outside today?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 82,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for selling my house that I bought with my inheritance money if my mom is upset about it",
    "body": "3 years ago, my adoptive mom helped me buy a house with my inheritance from when my adoptive dad passed away.  I was told by her that this was my inheritance and that when I was ready to sell it and move somewhere else she would be fine with it. Now she is listed as the secondary owner just in case anything happened to me.  So she has to sign off on anything to do with selling the house unfortunately. Recently I decided it was time for me to move on with my life and sell the house so my fiancee and I can buy our first house together.  He's putting just as much into this as I am but my mom has done nothing but throw roadblocks in our plans. At first she was refusing to sign but after several conversations signed the papers to list the house. At this point she was saying it was her money and not my inheritance like she originally said. As the primary owner the money from the house will go to me though. Today I approved an offer for the house and now need her to sign more papers confirming the sale before the final closing paperwork. When I called to let her know, she said I can't have all the money from the sale. She's saying I can only have about half. I'm upset about the whole thing because we had plans for every bit of the money we get from the sale. Every time I talk to her she acts like I owe her for taking me in as a child. Am I the asshole for wanting to sell the house and keep all the money?\n\nTLDR; I want to sell my house but my mom refuses to let me without taking half the money or refusing to sign even though it's my inheritance money that bought the house\n\nUpdate on how this all panned out: unfortunately she did take half the money from the sale of the house and we have not spoken since signing the closing papers.  Me and the other half ended up getting a domestic partnership before buying our new house so we are both protected in case of one of us leaving the other for those of you who were concerned about me and my boyfriend buying a home together. We were still able to buy the place we wanted and we just closed on it a little under a week ago so we are doing fine even with everything that happened with this whole ordeal. Thanks to everyone who gave me advice and commented on this!",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 83,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for wanting my gf to shave.",
    "body": "Simple question. My girlfriend enjoys recieiving oral but if I do it and she hasn't shaved down there in a while it makes my tongue sore. Sometimes she'll shave of her own accord but I feel like I might come off as a huge jerk if I bring it up. \n\nSo my question is do you think it'd be ok to bring up?\n\nEdit: Thanks for the replies and advice. I'll talk to her about it tonight. To those wondering for more info I was trying to be kinda taxctful but she's kinda small and I'm a big guy so my tongue is kinda all over that area when I'm doing the deed. ",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 84,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for being late picking up my friends mother",
    "body": "Okay so what happened today was my friend asked me if I would pick up his mother from the airport due to him having to work at the time. He then sends me the time they are flying from another airport, he also sends me his moms number if anything comes up.\n\n\nI assume either my friend or his mother will text me once they land at the airport. 1 hour later i text his mom anyways to let her know that they can just text me when they land and I´ll be there in 15 minutes, they'll have to go through baggage claim anyways so the wait won't be too long.\n\nI then receive a call from my friends mother telling me they already landed and have been waiting for me for 15 minutes and she seems a little triggered so i get my hurry on and drive to the airport.\n\nOnce I get there they have been at the airport for 30 minutes and are a bit triggered but i took them home and received 20 dollars for the 1 hour and 30 minutes ride.\n\nI am just unsure if I am the asshole for letting them wait at the airport, or his mother is the asshole for guilt tripping me when i only drove them home to be nice (20 dollars isn't really much in Denmark)\nMy friend could also be the asshole for not giving me the information needed to pick them up when they arrived\n\nAny opinions much appreciated.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 85,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not wanting to be disturbed while watching TV?",
    "body": "A little bit of a rant because this just keeps happening.\n\nFor context - I don't live with my parents anymore, but I'm visiting them at least twice a month because they're my parents and I like hanging out with them.\n\nThey own a pretty neat TV system so sometimes I when I visit them I plopp down on the couch and enjoy some Netflix in my pyjamas. \n\nNow to my issue: My mom likes to sit down next to me and watch parts of the movie with me, I enjoy that. But on more than one occasion, she just does loud things, including turning her phone to 'loud mode' so you can hear every tip and notification on her cell phone, she has phone conversations while sitting there, she watches videos people send her on whatsapp.\nAnd everytime I told her: I don't mind you being on the phone while watching a movie with me but just try to be quiet so I can focus, and everytime she tells me \"you're being a mean and egoistic person for saying so\"\n\nToday she hit the final straw by bringing her laptop and watching minute long recordings from old family holidays. I repeatedly asked her to either put headphones in or turn it down, or, if it's important to her, watch it in her room, or even wait until the movie is over so I can watch them with her, to which she again, replied \"you can be so mean sometimes\" and \"it's my house so I can do what I want\" and \"why is this such a problem it's not like you can't see the movie anyway?\"\n\nI didn't think I was being mean, I just told her I think it's really impolite to do that while someone is watching a movie (especially since it was one of my favorites, planet of the apes, which she knows!)\n\nShe's currently not talking to me because of that and I seriously considering going back to my place because the mood is ice cold because of that.\n\nSo, TL;DR:  WIBTA by repeatedly asking my mom not to be loud in her house while I was watching a movie?\n\nEdit: I appreciate that all of you took the time to respond - sometimes you think your view on things is the right and pragmatic one even though it isn't.\n\nI'd just like to clarify something that was brought up in the comments: No, I don't visit my parents just to watch TV. Most of the time is filled with talking, eating together and asking how everyone has been. The movie watching is something I generally do in the evenings, when everyone kind of does their own thing.\n\nThis doesn't change that my behaviour was apparently rude, so i'll try to talk to her and apologize.\n\nThank you all, reddit-people!",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 86,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA Cousins Christening",
    "body": "My ex sister in law had her first baby last December. My daughter loves her cousin because she is all about babies, dollies and all things maternal right now. I was informed this morning that they had booked the cousins christening ON my daughters 7th birthday in December and asked if both my children could attend. I have said no. No child should have to share their birthday like this. The day would totally overshadow her birthday and it’s hard enough for her having a December birthday as it is. She shouldn’t have to spend it in church and surrounded by adults she doesn’t know, behaving! She should be in a sugar induced meltdown like a normal 7 year old on their birthday. \nMy children could absolutely attend the cousins christening but not on my daughters birthday. It feels like they are doing it out of spite! They won’t invite me to the christening either so I wouldn’t get to spend my kids birthday stuffing her with chocolate and doing something fun.\nI do understand this may be the only date they could get and I don’t want to be cruel, I just don’t think it’s fair on my kid.\n\nAm I the asshole if I don’t let my kid spend her birthday at her cousins christening?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 87,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For snapping at my friend?",
    "body": "Okay so my friend and i were hanging around and he brought up something that one of our other friends did and I didn’t quite understand what he meant when he was explaining to me. I was going to ask him what he meant, but he tends to get overly upset and is very irrational so i didn’t wanna piss him off by asking him to elaborate, so i texted the friend that he was talking about. Long story short, the other friend explained what happened and asked me where I had heard that story, and i told him that the friend i was with told me. It wasn’t anything bad, but if some people may be upset by what he did, and the other friend then texted the friend that i was with simply asking him how that story got brought up, and he flipped out on me. He was yelling and saying stuff like “ quite playing dumb you always do shit like this, you knew what i meant” and just kinda nasty stuff. He is pretty rude to me sometimes and i had enough, so I said “i’m fucking sick and tired of this, i’m not playing dumb the only reason i texted him was because i had a genuine question and didn’t wanna be ridiculed for being curious like you always do!” and he was shocked. He left my house immediately and said “ i can’t believe you’d cuss at me and speak to me like that” and started playing the victim. AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 88,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for getting mad at my parents for not letting me go to a party?",
    "body": "I'm 16 and I live in a relatively small town. My high school isn't very big, so everybody knows each other.\n\nI recently got invited to go to a party at my best friends house. Yeah, of course there would be drinking. I asked my parents if I could go, and they said no. The only reason they didn't want me to go was because they didn't want a guy to do something to me against my will and get pregnant. Now, I know that there wouldn't be many people at the party, and that it was just people from my high school, and all of them were in relationships, and could hold their alcohol pretty well. There's never been a case of anything bad happening at the parties that kids from my school go to.\n\nI argued that it wasn't fair that I couldn't go, as I'd be very careful not to let anything happen. I even told them that I wouldn't drink anything, and that I could be the designated driver for my friends. They still said no.\n\nI asked if they would let my brothers go, and my father said yes! And he even said he would let them drive his car, which is his prized possession!\n\nMy brother's are the same age as me (They're twins, and I'm adopted), 16.\n\nIs this unfair?\n\nAm I the asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 89,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not posing for a group party picture?",
    "body": "My friend had a big birthday night out with a group of friends and wanted to memorialize the evening with a (yet another) group pic. I didn’t want to be in it because I’m very unphotogenic (people have even joked about how bad I look in pics) Should I have just joined the group pose and braced myself for all the painful social media reposts and tags afterward?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 90,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for smoking weed on my patio, even though it disturbs my neighbor?",
    "body": "I have been living in my apartment for a little over 6 months now. During this time I've had no problems sitting on my patio and enjoying a pipe or a joint. \n\nHowever, the family that lived above me moved out and was shortly after replaced by a young (mid 20s?) couple. The first time I saw them on the patio after they'd moved in, I said hello and introduced myself, the woman complimented my dog and that was that. Later on that night, I decide to bring my (small) bong outside for a short while. At this point, I'd heard them talking on their patio for a while, so I knew they were out there but I didn't think anything of it. Very shortly after I started smoking, one of them said something and they both started laughing and went inside. I thought ok whatever. But since then, every time I walk by and anyone's on the patio they'll ignore me when I wave, and whenever I go on the patio while they're out there they immediately go inside (sometimes even when I'm not even going out to smoke, it's like they just don't want to be around to even risk it).\n\nSo it seems pretty obvious to me that the smoking bothers them, since our introduction was so positive and everything since has been really strange and icy. While I know that I'm not breaking any rules (legal in my state and confirmed with the apartment when I first moved in that it was a smoking community) and am allowed to do what I'm doing, I kind of feel bad going out when I know they've been outside enjoying a chat for a while. But at the same time I've been here much longer and it's always been fine, so I don't want to have to change my habits for their sake, especially since they haven't said anything directly to me and instead have been a little rude about it.\n\nWIBTA if I just kept smoking? AITA for going out on the patio even when I know they're out there, and possibly have been for a while?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 91,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA - if our in laws were not invited to our wedding?",
    "body": "So both myself and my SO are currently no contact with his parents and 2 brothers. We do however speak to the rest of the family. We are creating a wedding guest list, and have decided not to include his immediate family, but invite the rest. \n\nWe do not speak to his immediate family for variety of reasons but to summarise; his mother is a safe guarding risk to our daughter and is mentally unstable, his dad sees nothing wrong with his families actions, his oldest brother is very violent, and his other brother is verbally abusive. In a nut shell, we're trying to protect the both of us and our daughter. \n\nWould we be assholes if we did not invite his immediate family to our wedding, but included the family we talk too and maintain a healthy relationship with? \n\nThank you all",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 92,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for being annoyed that someone I don’t really like was invited to a game night I’m hosting?",
    "body": "Recently some friends/coworkers and I have instituted a weekly game night. We rotate who hosts each week and this week is my turn to host. Tonight I was informed that another coworker, Sarah, was invited to come along. I wasn’t being asked if it was ok, the invite had already been extended.\n\nMy problem is that this person is kind of a lot as she’s fairly socially awkward. She’s nice enough but exhausting as she talks constantly, interrupts you to talk about her own stuff, asks the same questions over and over, etc. In addition, while we used to have a friendlier rapport, in recent years she has distanced herself to the point that we no longer converse unless it is work related. \n\nI’m irritated that I wasn’t consulted on whether she could be invited, especially because it’s being held at my house. Am I an asshole for not wanting this admittedly harmless, albeit frustrating girl at my house?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 93,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for asking my roommate to pay for parking?",
    "body": "Hi this is my first post— sorry for any mistakes and if this post is a bit milder of a question than some of the others on here. \n\nBackground: So my roommate and I attend a college where theres a popular downtown area nearby with metered parking. We go down there a lot and I’ve always driven because her car is parked a fifteen minute walk away and mine is right outside our dorm. I don’t mind driving and usually just assume I will be because she never really offers. \n\nI always use my own debit card to pay the meters when we go into town and it’s starting to add up as it costs about $3-$5 per trip. I’m getting increasingly frustrated that on top of driving I’m also always paying the meter. WIBTA if I ask her to pay a few times even though it’s not her car that’s being parked? I hate confrontation and hopefully you guys have some advice one whether or not this id a good idea. \n\nTLDR: WIBTA if I ask my roommate to pay to park my car at a meter if I always drive and always pay?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 94,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for ignoring someone who texted while driving?",
    "body": "So I got into a new guild in a game. All is well, it's a fun bunch. Along comes someone I hadn't met before, and he said that he'll join up once he's home, because he's currently driving. (The game has a mobile app which allows access to guild chat.)\n\nWhen he said this, my response looked like this:\n\nDON'T TEXT AND DRIVE  \nPUT DOWN THAT PHONE NOW\n\nIn an attempt of some sort of wake-up call. He laughed it off and came up with shit excuses like \"nobody is on the road\", \"I am only driving 80 km/h\", \"everyone else texts and drives as well\", \"I hold my phone above the steering wheel\" and \"it's late and dark\" (wtf?).\n\nSo I told him fine, I'll just ignore you. If he has nobody to talk to, he can't text and drive.\n\nI continued ignoring him after he came in game. After a solid hour of ignoring him, I talked. He *still* came up with bullshit excuses for his reckless behaviour on the road, and proceeded to publically call me a hypocrite and a concern troll.\n\nThis guy was endangering the lives of every person he shared the road with, shrugged it off like it was nothing, and treats me like absolute rubbish because I called him out on his recklessness.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 95,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for buying my little sister foundation against my mom's wishes?",
    "body": "I (21F) bought my little sister (16F) foundation a few days ago. My sister (Alya) has never really had a problem with acne up until recently. She's gotten acne that has left these reddish/brownish marks on her cheeks and chin that won't fade. It has been destroying her confidence recently as she has decided to not meet up with friends or be in any pictures because she hates the way her skin looks with the hyperpigmentation left behind. \n\nLast week, my relatives came over to celebrate Christmas with us and my mom wouldn't stop pointing out her acne marks and scars to our relatives and constantly would tell everyone to not let Alya eat sugar. At one point, my grandmother made these \\*AMAZING\\* cookies and Alya was about to eat one and my mom went, \"NO! DON'T EAT THAT! DO YOU WANT YOUR SKIN TO GET WORSE? THIS IS WHY YOUR SKIN IS SO BAD.\"\n\nAlya instantly retracted her had and looked completely humiliated. When I was around her age, I also had to deal with acne that left marks on my face and it demolished my confidence. I had always wished I had something to coverup my scars when I was going out. I decided to take it upon myself to buy her a little bit of foundation to help her.\n\nMy mom is a firm believer in natural remedies and won't let Alya use anything that isn't [this face mask](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwil7oflgOjmAhVSneAKHUdiAasQjRx6BAgBEAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FCauvery-Natural-Sandal-Herbal-Grams%2Fdp%2FB01GF89B78&psig=AOvVaw3i0riF1yIOfuF-dr-m0QVB&ust=1578160672626903) on her face and insists that she puts a crushed tomato on her face everyday. I believe that these remedies might eventually work, but they'll take a lot of time and I wanted her to have something that could help her cover it up now. My mom is also very vocal about not wearing makeup if you have acne, but I don't think she understands how much Alya's acne is bothering her. \n\nI bought Alya some good quality foundation and she was super happy with it. She wore it when we were taking New Years pictures and my mom noticed and flipped out. She was angry with me going against her wishes and said that I was further ruining Alya's skin. I feel really bad for going against what my mom wanted, but at the same time, I feel like I'm helping Alya out by doing something that will help her confidence. \n\nTL;DR - MY sister has a lot of acne scars and my mom won't let her cover it and constantly brings up her acne. I decided to buy her foundation and my mom flipped out and said I was ruining her skin.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 96,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not caring about a lady's lost cat?",
    "body": "I will preface this post by saying I grew up in a country where we weren't fond of animals like Americans are. We have pets but we didn't CARE care about them, you know what I mean? I know Americans love their pets and see them as family but its just not how I was raised. Anyway this took place a year ago when I was working at a call center for an unnamed cable company. It was the night shift when I got a call from this lady who was in the verge of tears, judging from her voice was about in her late 20's to early 30's saying that she needs to get in touch with whoever it was that came to her house to install her cable because she thinks he let her cat out. \n\nNow I work in the billing department that deals with billing discrepancies, and I had no idea what to  do in this situation. I prompt her for her account info to access her account but she claimed she was too angry to remember them. I run to my manager to explain the situation and ask her what to do. My manager informed me that we can't do anything for her since she can't remember her account info, furthermore even if we could access her account there's no way to get in touch with the person that came to her house as the records aren't that detailed. Basically she was shit out of luck. I relay what my manager told me to the lady as calmly as I could. And she went from crying to straight up screaming, demanding to speak with my manager. I told her I can't do that since I've already gave her the response my manager would give her and she'll only tell her what I just told her. She still kept screaming at me. Through her shouting I tried to get  it through to her that there really was nothing we could have done.\n\nTo which she replied with \"REALLY? IF YOUR SON WAS MISSING HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF SOMEONE TOLD YOU THERE WAS NOTHING THEY COULD DO?\" and here's where I may have messed up. In response I said \"Ma'am, you do realize we're talking about a cat here right?!\" Cat lady starts screaming at a pitch I didn't think was possible. I had to take my headphones off and my coworkers were looking at me asking if something was wrong with them. She then proceeds to ask me what my name was and where my station was located. I tell her that I'm o\\\\located outside of the US and she hangs up immediately. \n\nSo was I the asshole for saying what I said? Please let me know.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 97,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not letting my mother move in with me and my bf?",
    "body": "So, a little bit of background. My mother and my stepdad recently purchased a property in my city, where my mother plans on living in a tiny house. However, in addition to the tiny house, she would need a permanent address, as well as a place to do laundry, shower and store her things. Also, when it gets too cold in the winter she would live there. So, my parents have been looking for a suitable place (it ought to be ideally freshly renovated) for a really low price. So far they haven't had much luck.\n\nToday my mother called me to make me an \"offer\". She wants to come to my place to shower and do laundry 3x a week and live here a maximum of 2 months per year. In exchange, she wants to give me her expensive new living room furniture and a new kitchen, (which are things she insits on having in my flat, even though I have a kitchen and furniture which I would have to throw out). Also, because my flat is not up to her standards, she wants to renovate it (put in new tiles, paint etc.). Now, we did not intend on renovating the flat and also don't need furniture, however in exchange for these things she would like to have my bf's current bedroom rent free for the first 9 months and then pay 50% at the beginning of next year.\n\nNow, if my bf and I had intended to renovate the flat and needed new furniture this would be a great deal, but honestly living in a pile of rubble for months while they renovate my flat and then having my mother come live with us for two months in the winter just doesn't strike me as a good deal. My bf and I love living alone, since this is the first time we are able to live without additional roommates. Also our flat is quite small and my mother does not work, which means in the winter she might be here for two months constantly. She also wants to bring her cat, who is used to being outside 12 hours a day, and she can't go outside where we live.\n\nI thought my parents would understand that the deal they were offering me just wasn't that good for me. Yes, the furniture is expensive but I don't need expensive furniture and I can live in this flat without fresh paint on the walls. However, when I told them no just now they said that they were \"extremely disappointed\", because they apparently thought I would jump at this offer. Now, I feel like I am being harsh telling them that I don't want to live with my mother, even if it is only two months a year tops. So AITA?\n\n​\n\nEDIT: So, a few people asked why she can't have a shower in her tiny house. The property she purchased is in a garden community. It is only meant to be a garden, which means there is no sewage there. She could probably figure out how to have a shower without gas, but without sewage, the water wouldn't have anywhere to go. ",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 98,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for NOT telling my wife a dress made her look pregnant?",
    "body": "Background:  Wife is overweight...still has baby belly.  I leaned long ago never to tell a woman she looks fat or that clothing makes her look as such. Usually when presented with the \"does it make me look fat\" question, I avoid it and find something else wrong with the outfit (clashing colors, too racy for work, not your style, etc. etc.)  This morning my wife asked me if a blue summer dress made her look fat.  I sidestepped and said \"I like that dress, it matches your eyes.\"  The dress is one of those with the seam directly below the bosom.\n\n​\n\nAt lunch, a female acquiescence hailed us and asked if my wife was expecting. My wife said no and then started crying after the encounter.  I held her and said I was sorry that had happened.  She then called me an asshole for not telling her to NOT wear the dress and said \"And you probably agree that I look pregnant.\"\n\n​\n\nThe fact is, my wife has a belly/fupa....most of her outfits tend to show that, but I am not about to tell her that.\n\n​\n\nAITA???",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 99,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for having pics of my ex from several years ago?",
    "body": "I was scrolling through my 5000+ pics to find something and my boyfriend was offended that I had pics from my ex from several years. I honestly am happy to delete them, but I can’t magically find all his pics and delete theme. He knows I love him so AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 100,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not acknowledging that my best friend gave birth 3 months ago?",
    "body": "I have been best friends with a girl since we were 12. We are now almost 30. We've had our arguments but always come out the other side. When we were teenagers we were never apart. We were always out drinking, partying, shopping etc. Over the past 7 years we have drifted as I'm not in to that lifestyle anymore yet she is and she has done mannnnny questionable things such as having an affair and has always used me as her cover story without me knowing until a day or so after. Around a year ago, she rings me absolutely petrified, saying she thinks she is pregnant. I reassured her that whatever her decision, she would be absolutely fine and that I'll help her in any way that I can. A week later she calls and says that the news has settled in and she's keeping the baby. I congratulate her. We didn't see each other much during her pregnancy but kept in touch often. I helped to organise her baby shower with her other best friend and spent a fair amount of money on the shower and present. The whole time I was there I was made to feel really awkward and as if I'd been invited just because we had been friends for so long, not because we are actually friends. I kept asking to see her scan pictures as she'd been for a 3D scan and she kept brushing it off but then I saw her showing other people. I made my excuses and left after about 2 hours. I messaged her a few days later and no reply. I continued to attempt contact every few days for the next 9 weeks until I went on Facebook one day and saw that her baby boy had been born 3 weeks early, 3 weeks prior to her posting her news on Facebook. This absolutely knocked the wind out of me because I was finding out on Facebook that my best friend had given birth 3 weeks earlier and I had no clue about it. I still to this day have not had a response from her and I have not liked/commented etc on any of her posts since therefore by default, I have not acknowledged the baby. I am absolutely heartbroken that she didn't feel our years of friendship meant anything to her a mere 30 something weeks after she rang me crying because she'd found out she was pregnant. \n\nAm I the asshole for ignoring what's going on in her life when she clearly doesn't want me involved? Am I the asshole if I remove her from all social media and carry on with my life without her in it?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 101,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for talking to my ex from 3 years ago?",
    "body": "I’m in a great relationship right now. He’s everything my exes weren’t. He’s understanding and accepts me.\n\nI’m a really caring person. I forgive people because I believe they can do better and change. I will always help someone if they need help. My boyfriend knows this. \n\nI just started talking to my ex again a few months ago. It was an emotionally abusive relationship. We both hurt each other a lot. It’s been a few years and I got over it, and so did he.  We talk strictly as acquaintances, and we talk a few times a week. That’s it. The other day, he came to me to vent about his new gf and their problems. He asked me to not bring up our past. I said I wouldn’t . I listened to him and offered advice on what to do. I told my boyfriend and he got upset. I even offered to show him the messages to reassure him. He said no and just continued looking upset. Now whenever I’m on my phone, he looks at what I’m doing to see if I’m talking to him. I don’t mind that because i don’t want to hide anything from him. I feel like it’s not right to talk to my ex and to respect my current relationship, but at the same time I want to help my ex and see him improve. I just want the best for him. Am i the asshole?\n\nEDIT: there’s reason for my current bf to have trust issues. At times I can be too forgiving and let people take advantage of me, which is what happened with my most recent ex. I need to learn how to realize that not everyone has good intentions. I just care about everyone a lot and want to help.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 102,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for refusing a relationship with my father?",
    "body": "I'm a super awkward person. The entire time I was growing up I was teased, belittled, made a spectacle of, etc. For that reason, I have always been sensitive to \"teasing\". Some people can take it--I can't. It makes me feel self-conscious, unloved, disgusting, hated. I have been totally clear about this to my family: do not treat me in this way. I don't like it, it hurts me, so don't.\n\nThen there's my father. He had always made a point to say things to me that I find hurtful. Typically regarding my vegetarianism or my political beliefs.  I have no interest in engaging him on politics (there's no point) or on my food choices (again, no point) but he INSISTS on bringing these up. I feel he's doing it specifically to hurt me because when I express hurt he always fucking GIGGLES, like me saying it is hurtful is HILARIOUS.\n\nSo, I told my mother that, if I came home for thanksgiving, I would 'get in the car and leave' the minute my father started harassing me.  My mother's response was that I might as well just not come, in that case. I agreed. So, reddit: AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 103,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for causing my friend to leave?",
    "body": "A group of friends and I went for a short trip to a nearby country and we stayed at an airbnb apartment,now the problem was that the wifi signal was bad when using it from the bedrooms to the point that you might even get disconnected. \n\nSo while a few of us were in the room chilling and stuff,I was using the wifi to play songs on Spotify and this particular friend who I shall call 'W',came in and started playing a ranked game of Mobile Legends and began to lag hard.\n\nHe told me and another friend to temporarily switch off the songs and disconnect from the wifi as we were 'leeching' the wifi thus causing his game to lag but I told him that the signal here was bad and that if he went outside it'll be fine and all i was doing was playing songs which shouldn't even affect the wifi much.\n\nAfter a while he lost the game and he got super pissed and when one of my friends tried to ask him if he wanted food,he told him to fuck off so we left without him for dinner and we came back,he went home all by himself without saying a word and then sent a huge long text saying how we successfully pissed him off by disrupting the wifi by using it while he was gaming.\n\nSo...am I the asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 104,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for leaving my friend at a bath house",
    "body": " my friend and i were partying and went to a bath house. i did not know what it exactly entailed. i didn't know it was a place for gay men. i quickly realized it wasn't my thing and left. i totally respect my friends choices but it wasn't for me. he's pissed because i ditched him. do i owe him an apology? ",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 105,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not wanting to meet Mom's brother?",
    "body": "Long story short, my mother found out recently that she has a half brother. She's met him, they're all lovey dovey, I'm genuinely happy for them. Myself, I am not ready to meet him. I have had a lot of emotional upheaval over the last year, a lot of things I had no choice about adjusting to; I am in a better place now, but every time I try to even think about joining this particular situation, I want to either scream or cry. No real idea why, I just don't feel comfortable with the situation and I don't feel that I have to try and force myself to BE comfortable with it yet. My mother seems to think that me refusing to meet is a slap at her, that I don't care about her feelings and that I should just suck it up and join her happy family. She keeps pushing the issue, and every time I say no, she ends up in a snit. It's exhausting, mentally and emotionally. Am I in the wrong?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 106,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for telling my supervisor about a mistake my coworker made, resulting in her termination?",
    "body": "This actually happened around a month ago but our supervisor's decision came last week. Let's call her Pam.\n\nPam and I work in forensics for the police and we mainly handle fingerprints. I'm a sorta recent college graduate and this is my first real career in the field, I have been working here for a little under 2 years. Before coming here Pam has worked for the FBI then the USPIS, doing what we do here, for around 45 years then retired early. Pam has only been working with us for 10 months and she was on probation because all new employees are on probation for 12 months. \n\nPam finished her training a couple of months ago and has just started working on cases with us and because she has just finished training here, she was put on the very low-profile cases. All of us in the department are strongly encouraged to double-check each other's work for liability issues and especially Pam's because she's new. Pam mistakenly matched 2 fingerprints that were different but I caught the mistake before it did any harm, so I let our supervisor know about this, he thanked me and said that he would meet with her about it. \n\nA couple of days after I learned that since Pam is on probation, she was taken off of casework for her mess up and given no other duties. So she decided to use the time to study and retake some certification tests, to help her case look good for our supervisor who was taking the time deciding to keep her or not. A few weeks later, our supervisor came to the decision to let her go but is allowing her to resign instead. This is Pam's last week here.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 107,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not warning my flat mates about my ’very spicy’ curry?",
    "body": "Today I made some butter chicken for dinner. I made a lot (my Tupperware was loaned out so I couldn’t fridge it) so I shot a text to the house group chat that if anyone was hungry, they could help myself to the butter chicken and the rice. My house mates were appreciative because I’m a good cook and hey, it’s free food. At this point, I should say that there’s a new student from Germany staying with us - we’re all uni students and one of my normal housemates is in a year abroad so is subletting her room to the German girl. She’s only been around for a month or so but is super chill. \n\nAbout half an hour later when I’m in the front room, I hear shouts of pain from the kitchen. I rush over with a friend and I see the German student gasping for air and having a really bad time of it from having the butter chicken. She’s struggling with the spice and says it was really wrong of me not to warn her. I’m pretty amused by this but I tell her I had no idea that it was even spicy. While as an Indian man I may have a slightly higher tolerance to spice, butter chicken is *not* a spicy dish; it’s in the name: I put in lots of butter and cream. Sure, the recipe called for garam masala, but I insist that those were not the overwhelming flavours of the dish. Anyway, once I realised it was nothing serious, I laughed and said that was the risk of living with an Indian, and that if she opened my shelf there was a naan she could have because bread was better for the spice than water. I then went back to what I was doing.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 108,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not wanting to be my mother's confidant?",
    "body": "I'm 17 years old right now and I really can't take it anymore. Every time my parents have an argument, my mother always comes straight to me to complain about my father and I just?? Like seriously? I know he's an ass most of the time but sometimes I feel like she treats me as her therapist than her daughter. It has been going on for YEARS and every time it happens I get super annoyed and agitated for some reason and I literally can't focus on anything but her complaining.\n\nI know I should be a good daughter and be there for my parents but I think that's asking for too much right? Or maybe I am an asshole hahahahaha.\n\n",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 109,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for being mad at my parents for being uninterested grandparents?",
    "body": "Growing up, I had amazing grandparents. They were super involved in our lives, babysat regularly, and had sleepovers at their house all the time. They even took us on a couple trips. This was my normal. As I got older, my parents made comments about looking forward to being grandparents some day and after I got married, they were always wondering when a baby was coming (not in an obnoxious way). They even put in a pool in their back yard to “prepare for the next stage of life.”\n\nThen, I had a baby. Comments made by them in the past had me thinking that my mom would be willing to watch the baby while I worked part time. She said she didn’t feel up to it, and thought daycare would be a better fit. Sure, ok. Then, I’d call and ask them to babysit for whatever reason, and they were usually busy, or not feeling well, or tired, or some other excuse. I tried talking to them about it, and they said “we enjoy babysitting, but we like spending time with all of you the most.” Ok...\n\nMy oldest is 10 now, and he has spent the night at their house once, and they have babysat probably 15 times total. When he was 3, his father and I divorced. The lack of babysitting and interest in his life wasn’t as noticeable because he was at his dad’s house half the time. I remarried and had another baby 2 years ago. The trend has continued. They see us about once every 2-3 months and have babysat twice. I asked if they could watch the kids while my husband and I went on a weekend getaway, and they said that they don’t think it would be a good idea. “It’s too tiring.” (They are still in their 50’s, and my dad is prepping now for his second marathon. They are more active and fit than I am.)\n\nI’ve tried to accept that they are just not interested, but it’s hard. My friends all drop their kids off for weekends with grandma all the time. My mom’s best friend hosts “camp grandma” once a year, complete with matching shirts and trips to theme parks. It’s so sad to me that my kids won’t ever get that. \n\nSo, reddit, AITA? I’m honestly hoping that if I am being an asshole, someone can provide me some logic that will convince me to stop feeling this way. I don’t want to resent them, but I can’t seem to get there on my own.\n\n\n\nEdit 2: I know I could hire a babysitter. We do. It’s not the money. We are lucky enough to have well paying jobs that make our lives comfortable. I just want *them* to want to do it. Ugh. It’s hard to explain why it’s so hard for me to accept that they don’t.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 110,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not returning my best friends x boyfriends washing machine.",
    "body": "so my best friend (we will call her hannah) \nand her at the time boyfriend (let's call john)\nhad been dating for a few months. \n\njohn had no room to store his washing machine and was washing his clothes at Hannah's, so lent it to me and my roommate until he found a bigger place. we agreed and all was fine. \n\nthat was until john cheated on hannah multiple times and showed no remorse whatsoever. \nhe ended up blocking me and hannah and refused to talk to us. \n\nI still have his washing machine, it's kinda old and not a brand new one. \n\nif I could contact him I would but he has me blocked on everything and he does not work \n\nhannah also does not want me to contact him because it might stir up the pot more. \n\nAITA for not returning it?\n\nedit..... if he wants it it can come and get it. I'm not going to tell him he cant have it",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 111,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not really celebrating my parents' anniversary?",
    "body": "A bit of clarity: I don't refuse to acknowledge it or abstain from partaking in celebration entirely, however, my family has always kept all holidays and celebrations pretty low-key. Usually the standard celebration for any given holiday (xmas, bdays, etc) involves a gift + card and maybe dinner out. So as an adult, my approach to celebrating holidays is also very low-key. \n\nTheir anniversary is coming up soon (it's not a milestone or anything) and as usual, we're going out to dinner as a family to celebrate. But my schedule conflicted with the actual date of their anniversary, so we moved the dinner to the following night because they wanted me to still join them for dinner, which is great!\n\nBut my dad called me and was agitated that now he has to wait an extra day to give mom her gift since I'm not there, and he said he'd sign her \"happy anniversary\" card from the both of us, and they've strongly implied I should be arriving with gifts as well and treating them to dinner.\n\nThey're like this every year, and they always get offended when I don't arrive with a gift from me to each of them separately, or when I don't take the lead on the celebration by paying for their dinner, and I always felt weirded out when I'm made to sign the sentiment cards, which are overtly romantic and explicitly directed to the person you're *married* to. \n\nThe thing is, I don't feel like it's my place. This isn't \"my\" celebration; I am not really part of it. An anniversary is about the two people who have married each other, and their enduring relationship. It's fine for them to include me in their celebration, as I am family and I have no problem joining them for dinner and wishing them a happy anniversary, but mainly it should be between and about the two of them. \n\nSo, I don't feel it's appropriate to give my mother an anniversary gift from myself, because I'm not the one married to her! I don't think I should be expected to give a card, nor does my name have any place as a signature on the ones they give to each other. My presence has no bearing on when they exchange their gifts, and while I suppose my buying their dinner would be a generous gesture on my part, they always choose expensive steakhouses and such that are way out of my budget, as a broke college student, and aren't willing to compromise. Plainly put, I can't afford steak-and-lobster dinners for 3. \n\nYet, they frequently take the position that I'm being aloof and selfish and it's *their* \"special day\" so I should be doing what they want and making it special for them! I think that even if I am a result of their marriage, I have nothing to do with their marriage, and it should be enough that I acknowledge their anniversary (\"Happy anniversary!\") and accept their invitation to dinner, since it has been awhile since I saw them. We dont always have the best relationship so perhaps I'm letting their other antics in my life color my perspective on what I think is appropriate social protocol for celebrating other people's anniversaries, but AITA after all?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 112,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for throwing food at an ex at a family reunion?",
    "body": " Throwaway because you know the drill also reposted so it wouldn't exceed the character limit.\n\nFive years ago I met my sister's (Linda) husbands (James) brother (Mark) at my sister's and her then fiance's engagement party. Mark was my dream man I didn't act on my attraction however, we just engaged in polite conversation and friended each other on facebook. I didn't see Mark again until the wedding and at the reception, we really hit it off we drank and danced together all night long all in all it was a night to remember. Later we connected on facebook and went on a date.\n\nFamily members were initially worried simply because if things went awry it could possibly result in family drama but Mark and I shrugged off their concerns, we figured we were both mature enough to deal with a break up amicably if the time ever came but we both thought that our relationship would last forever. But...unfortunately, our relationship started to break down. When I moved in with Mark in 2017 that's when money really started to become an issue for both of us.\n\nTo make a long story short: I started finding myself frustrated with Mark's poor spending habits and financial planning but I thought things would get better once he moved in and I would be able to guide his spending habits. That's not how it worked out, we argued a lot over finances and that's when the breakdown of our relationship truly started.\n\nIn 2018 I noticed Mark had become more distant toward me. He was on his phone *a lot* during this time which I was concerned about because he was never the type of man to use his phone constantly. In October things came to a head when I saw him tagged in some risque photos on Instagram of him at a Halloween party with some woman I had never seen before, when I confronted him about it he admitted to cheating and apologized profusely but I was done I told him to pack his shit and leave and that I never wanted to see him again. I never saw Mike again until July of this year (2019.)\n\nEvery year my parents have this huge family reunion where practically everyone who's related is invited. I had told my parents about Mark so I didn't quite expect him to be there but low and behold I see him with Linda and James laughing it up and drinking a beer. Immediately, I see red and storm up to Mark asking him where does he get off showing up at my parents home after what he did to me? He said that he was sorry for what happened and just wanted to stop by to say hello to some folks and get some free food. I absolutely lost it, and at that moment I threw my plate of potato salad and mac and cheese in his face. I walked away feeling great but the next day it resulted in text message after text message of family members absolutely mortified at what I did. I do feel bad but my parents shouldn't have invited Mark over, they knew what he did to me so I feel a bit justified in my reaction. So AITA for causing a scene?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 113,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if i ditched a friend for my grandfathers birthday",
    "body": "little back story. im in the military. a coworker and i had signed up for some volunteer work a month or so in advance to do at a school for test proctoring. my grandfather, living 14 hours away(driving) in a different state, is having his 80s birthday. i didnt know if my family was planning on throwing him a party or not and if so what the date was.\n\nlow-and-behold. the birthday date would make it impossible to make it back to the volunteer opportunity day. as my drive back would be difficult.\n\nmy coworker is mad at me for setting up the volunteer work for us and than wanting to back out for my grandfather. i tried to reschedule the volunteer thing with no luck.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 114,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for turning off the internet because my teenage daughter stays up so late?",
    "body": "Using an alternate because I know that my daughter uses reddit.\n\nI would say, as a parent, I am fairly lenient when it comes to what my children do in their spare time. Both my son (12) and my daughter (14) are still on summer break right now, and don’t go back to school until mid-August, so for the past few weeks since we’ve got back from a trip, they’ve mostly been playing video games all day and watching tv on their rooms on their computers. This alone wouldn’t be the issue, as they’re pretty well-behaved otherwise and get off when I tell them to for things like family dinner.\n\nRecently, however, I decided to check the internet reports from my internet provider online and discovered that my daughter’s phone and computer were using WiFi until past four in the morning. This, to me, is absolutely ridiculous, but when I confronted her about it, she said it didn’t matter if she was staying up that late since she woke up late, and therefore got a normal eight hours of sleep. I responded by saying that summer was almost over, and shifting back to a schedule where she would have to wake up early for school wouldn’t happen overnight, so I said that until she started sleeping normally, I was disabling internet for the devices she uses. At this she stormed into her room and shut herself in. I think it’s a reasonable rule since I’m more concerned than angry, but my wife says that two weeks is still a while, and that she’s getting more sleep now than she ever did on school nights anyways. AITA?\n\nEdit: It’s only turned off at night\n\nEdit 2: Thanks for your input everyone, I wasn’t 100% sure initially because technically she is getting a full 8 hours of sleep but I’m going to turn the internet off at night until she gets back to a normal schedule",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 115,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For not wanting to give up my job? Because GF is depressed.",
    "body": "So my GF (30F) and me (31M) have been together for over 12 years now, and for most of her time with me she has suffered from depression on and off and has been manifesting itself in different ways every time.\n\nEarly in our relationship she wanted to become a teacher, I expressed my concern that It's mentally challenging but if shes really wants to i support her!\n\nShe goes though education 5 years, get a job and loves it and after 3 years crashes into a combination of depression and burnout.. First they tried half-time but it didn't help, panic attacks and anxiety started to manifest every other day so shes on sick-leave for 3 months and has no energy to do anything most days...In short.\n\nMe I'm going to a different path, after a electrician education goes thru military training, get a temp-job as a security guard and stay there to clime up the ladder so i get a full-time job at the best position in the company it took 6 years to get where i am today.. And i love it! Basically I sit at a reception during nighttime and play video-games with friends thru internet and scroll reddit and netflix :D It's the most lazy job on the planet and because its all nighttime i make above average pay and more then any of my friends have.\n\nThe only downside I work every other weekend and is 12 hour shifts.\n\nThis means 2 weekend a month she is home alone with our kid and I'm only with my family a few hours, it tough but it's my job and I have come to accept it.\n\nShe however doesn't, she thinks i should take almost any job that includes daytime and no weekends.. regardless of pay or working environment. Just because she needs my support during weekends. I understand it's hard but should i sacrifice all that I've worked for?\n\nShe gets mad every time we talk about it and starts to tear up.\n\nAm not all that against changing my job but i at least want a job that i might like or I'm worried I might get depressed.\n\nI'm trying to support her the best i can when I'm not at work, making dinner, cleaning, laundry. etc. But some days i feel like I'm the only parent taking care of my kid and my GF and the household all alone..\n\nAITA for not wanting to help her? Everyone i asked just says it's a hard one..\n\n​\n\nEdit:\n\n\\*My GF is going through therapy and taking anti-depression pills.\n\n\\*My kid is about to turn 3 years old.\n\n\\*Because I work 12/h shifts I only work on about 12-14 days a month",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 116,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA - for not voicing my side of an argument?",
    "body": "So I was at work last week and four of my co-workers started talking about the news. Specially that ex-cop from Texas that shot the black guy in his apartment. Well, my co-workers are black and they stayed talking about race relations and how black people are treated poorly in America. They asked me for my input. I laughed and said \"Yeah, I'm gonna take a hard pass on that question.\" \n\nThey all laughed and moved on with a different topic except for one of them that started calling me a racist asshole. Am I an asshole for keeping my opinion too myself? This one guy seems to be the only one upset at it, but maybe the others just aren't voicing their opinion of me.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 117,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for leaving a bad review after a refund?",
    "body": "This happened a while ago but has been bugging me ever since. I bleached my hair and it was in bad condition. I booked an appointment at a hairdresser's. At the appointment I asked for my hair to be dyed my natural colour and cut short. I also asked for lowlights but didn't realise this wasn't possible and ended up not getting them (I maybe expected too much). During the appointment she complained repeatedly about my hair being in bad condition and I kept apologising. She didn't speak to me about anything else.  The hairdresser matched my hair but then when she dyed it my hair was too dark and too warm. The dye also didn't work on the ends so it looked awful, a half dye. The hairdresser said nothing so I paid and tipped her as I felt like I had been so much work from her complaining.\n\nOver the week I used a shampoo toner to try and cool the colour but all that happened was the bleached parts turned purple. I called the salon and they told me the hairdresser was independent and it had to be her who fixed it (I later contacted the citizen's advice bureau and they confirmed that the salon should I have fixed it as I booked it through them). When I got there she roughly grabbed at my hair and then started laughing at how bad it looked.\n\nI'm ashamed to say that I jumped up from sitting and snapped at her, asking why she was laughing. Someone else said it was because she was nervous but she had looked to be smirking to me. She offered to try to fix it but didn't seem very confident about it and said if she had dyed my hair my natural colour it would have gone green (but didn't say this when she dyed my hair or I would have done it myself). She claimed the dark colour would matched when it grew up but it was dark brown and my colour is dark blonde. I told her I had tipped her because she made me feel so bad but she just grabbed my hair and said \"but it is broken\" like it made it ok. I got a full refund (including tip) and angry glares as I left but no apology.\n\nWhen I got back I was pretty upset about how she had treated me both times. I wrote a long review on their Facebook page and tried to be clear I was annoyed by the hairdresser's attitude and \\*not\\* the hairdye itself (I knew my hair was in bad condition). I also mentioned that I felt sorry for snapping at her. Immediately the hairdresser's friends reacted with angry faces and said I was lying and trying to ruin her business. I tried to respond to them but it just made it worse. They also left about ten separate positive reviews for the hairdresser with snide comments about \"people\" who have bleached hair. I got no reply from the hairdresser or salon. Eventually my account was locked and the review disappeared (it was a new account as I don't use facebook and with a fake name).\n\n​\n\nI've wondered ever since if I was the asshole for snapping at her and then for leaving a negative review after being refunded. It seems everyone else really likes the hairdresser so I don't understand what happened with me.\n\n​\n\nEdit: More details\n\nEdit 2: Someone seems to have downvoted everyone. This was not me. Thanks everyone for replying.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 118,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA if I report my apartment neighbor to the front office?",
    "body": "Backstory: I moved into this apartment July 7th. I have one car, and there are parking spots outside every apartment. I’ve never been able to park there because my neighbor does. They have 3 cars, two of which are never driven.\n\nSo I finally parked there, because I was tired of hauling my groceries across the parking lot unnecessarily. After a week of me parking there, my neighbor moved one of their cars that’s never driven in front of my apartment. They have now claimed 3 parking spots, and we are only allowed 1.\n\nWIBTA if I discuss the matter with the front office? The people in this apartment are really intimidating and larger than me, and regularly give me dirty looks for no reason. If anyone has advice that’s welcomed as well.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 119,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for sharing a bed with a 6 yr old?",
    "body": "Throw away account, mobile, ECT. \n\nI (25M) babysit my roommate's niece, Amy, pretty often, like at least once or twice a month for the past 2 yrs now, I don't get paid for it as her parents have my roommate and I over for dinner pretty much every Sunday. I've known my roommate for almost 10 yrs, and I was practically raised in his house. We moved in together 3 yrs ago, we have a 2 bedroom apartment. \n\nOn the 4th of July, my roommate's brother shows up to drop Amy off at our apartment, apparently my roommate was supposed to be babysitting this time around but he buggered off to his girlfriend's house, later claiming he forgot. So I offered to babysit instead. Amy's parents were throwing a bachelor's party at their house for a friend. They were supposed to pick Amy up at 11 PM, but there was a incident, cops got involved. They asked if she could stay the night at my house. I accepted. \n\nMy roommate locks his bedroom door when he leaves because the latch doesn't work and my dogs (I have 3) will get in there and mess with his stuff, so his bed was out of the question. The living room only has 2 arm chairs and a bean bag chair, so neither of us could sleep in there. So we ended up in my king size bed together. With one of my dogs who suffers extreme separation anxiety, he's a sweetheart tho.\n\nApparently, I shouldn't have done this. I didn't think it would be a problem, I've bathed the child before, on multiple occasions, on orders from her parents. I've known her since she was born, I was at her christening. Anyway, now I'm being yelled at for it, my roommate also doesn't see an issue with it, but his SIL is absolutely furious. \n\nSo Reddit, AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 120,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for refusing to make my dad's phone calls?",
    "body": "Growing up, my dad always treated me as his personal secretary. Usually, it was making phone calls for him. He'd never ask, he'd just say, \"Go get the phone and call Carl and tell him I can't come to his barbecue this weekend.\" I HATED this, because I was very shy, and I'd always end up going back and forth between my dad telling me what to say and telling him what his buddy was saying on the phone, which was stressful as fuck (my parents also made me the messenger between them whenever they would fight, so this is a bit of a raw nerve). But of course, as a kid, I couldn't tell him no.\n\nImportant detail: My dad recently got a cell phone. He immediately taped over the selfie cam, claiming that the government would use it to spy on him, but then gets pissed when he tries to put the phone on speaker and can't because the proximity sensor keeps preventing him from pressing the button (the tape covers the sensor, and I've explained this several times). He refuses to use anything but speaker, because he believes having the phone near his head will cause cancer.\n\nAnyway, today, I got a phone call from him while I was in the middle of cooking dinner. He told me his house phone wasn't working, and he wanted to find out if it was just his house or others. Then he said, \"I need you to call my workplace and my girlfriend and then call me back to tell me if the phones are working.\"\n\nThis irritated the FUCK out of me, because I'm almost 30 and he's telling me--not asking me--to make these calls for him. I'm ESPECIALLY not comfortable with calling his girlfriend because 1) that's awkward as fuck, and 2) I've only met her in passing and spoken to her once.\n\nThat said, I was polite and said, \"Dad, no offense, but can you call them instead? You're already on the phone.\"\n\nHe told me he couldn't because he didn't want to call and them hear him struggle with putting speaker on. I asked why he couldn't just keep speaker off, and I got the \"There's no way I'm putting this phone near my head.\"\n\nSo I plainly said, \"Dad, I really don't want to call your girlfriend.\" I started to explain that I was in the middle of something, but he cut me off and started SCREAMING at me. \"JESUS CHRIST, I'M ASKING YOU TO DO ONE LITTLE THING, BUT FINE, WHATEVER, I'LL DO IT LIKE I ALWAYS DO, AND I'VE HAD A REALLY SHITTY DAY, AND [proceeds to rant and rave about a bunch of things that have nothing to do with me making his calls for him].\"\n\nBy the end of that, I decided maybe compromise was the best option (because his rant made me feel like an asshole), and I offered to call his work for him, but not his girlfriend. He didn't like that either, but eventually agreed. I hung up, called his work (it didn't connect), and then texted him to let him know. He wrote back about how he probably wouldn't be able to reach his girlfriend because of his phone issue but \"that's fine I guess.\" (He did end up calling and getting a busy signal.)\n\nSince I became an adult, I started telling him no when he'd ask tell me to do this kind of stuff, and everytime, he'd either be super passive aggressive towards me about it, or try to guilt trip me. That's why I didn't really react to his rant about his super stressful day. It's not just phone calls either... it's telling me to order him stuff online (because he doesn't want Amazon to have his address) or paying his phone bill for him (because he doesn't want the phone company to have his bank account/card number). I love my dad very much and would love to help him with stuff, but sometimes it's ridiculous. He does the whole \"I'll never ask for a favor again\" BS when I say no, but of course a week or so later, he's back to it.\n\nAITA for saying no? :(\n\nTL;DR - Dad doesn't ask but tells me (almost 30) to make phone calls for him like some sort of secretary, and becomes passive aggressive and guilt trips me when I say no.\n\nEdit: Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I guess he's been successful in guilt tripping me, and you're right, I need to stop enabling this behavior. I appreciate the outside perspective.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 121,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not staying with my dad in the hospital?",
    "body": "This is a long story but I’ll try to keep it short lol a couple of months ago, my dad slipped and fell in the shower and damaged his spinal cord. He’s in rehab and getting better every day. My sister has like 4 months of vacation time built up so she took off and is staying with him every night. I just started a job in July so I have almost no time so I can’t stay with him during the week. The rehab place he’s at is 60 miles from my house so it’d be impossible for me to make it to work on time. While he’s there, I’m also running his business (doing payroll, paying bills, etc) in addition to working 40 hour weeks at my real job. On the weekend, I have no energy to do anything except recover for the week ahead, but I still mow my parents grass for them (about 2 acres), go house shopping and wedding planning with my fiancé, and go see my dad. My sister and mom are making me out to be the worst person ever because I can’t stay with him. So, am I the asshole? Be honest. I can take it.\nEDIT: I go see him about twice a week",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 122,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for telling on/holding another addict accountable PT.2",
    "body": "I live in a recovery House and we have certain rules and guidelines were supposed to follow. A guy moved in a few days ago who is a tattoo artist. So, the other day we had some other people in recovery over and cooked out and we’re all hanging out but, I was not happy about it. I was tired from work and didn’t want all these people at our house. They started a poker game out back and we are not supposed to gamble on that property. So win they started I called the coordinator of the program instead of talking to them or my house man and I told him what was going on and also let him know that someone had done a few tattoos in the house. Also I forgot to add I have asked him to do a tattoo on me too! So, long story short the coordinator got word to the House Man that there was no gambling allowed on the property and if there was tattooing going on at the house the artist would be kicked out and new management would be put in place at our house. Am I the asshole for Calling the coordinator to try and get them removed from our house and taking a chance of getting people kicked out of the program and quite possibly thrown in jail so I could have peace and quiet and go to sleep?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 123,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I left my friend when he's going through a tough time and I was his only friend?",
    "body": "This was a friend of mine from school in 8th and 9th Grade. We were really close and used to spend time together all the time before I had to move to another country with my family. \n\nAfter I left, my friend got into the idea that he had to \"change\" the people who he considered bad. So his friends during that time, consisted of people who didn't study and used to drink (they were underage). During this time, he met a girl, who broken up with her boyfriend, after getting cheated on. He decided to \"help\" her by dating her. This lead to him getting cheated on by her with one of his friends. I think she justified it by saying she said she wanted revenge on men for what they did to her. His \"friends\" left him after a fight between him and the guy she cheated with. My friend, really heartbroken, went into \"depression\", and graduated with really terrible scores. He didn't get accepted into any college or university, and had to take a gap year.\n\nDuring the gap year, he met another girl, and decided within a year of dating her that she'd be the one he'd marry. The girl also broke up with after four or five months of dating him. This pushed him down further, and his gap year didn't go well either, and his parents ended up paying his way into a college.\n\nDuring this entire time, my friend keeps calling me to talk, during which time he rants for hours. Some times I didn't even listen, and just had to say a \"hmm\" every once in a while, and he didn't realize I was not listening, for weeks. I also feel like he developed a condescending attitude cause every time I do say something about a good thing that happened in my life, like me getting into a good college or anything of that sort, I feel like he replies kinda sarcastically. \n\nI'm tired of listening to his ranting. I get that he feels like I'm his only friend right now and his only way to vent. But I simply do not have the energy for it. \n\nSo aita? Right now I'm just lying to him to avoid him.\n\nTL;Dr bad stuff happened to friend, and I can't handle him rant.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 124,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for siding with a (kinda) flakey player over my boyfriend and our dungeon master?",
    "body": "Me and my boyfriend play dungeons and dragons with a couple of friends form uni. We are all in our final year apart from one guy (lets call him Joe) who is doing a sandwich year which means he started in the same year as us but is currently doing an internship this year, and will graduate next year. He actually lives closer to his work but makes an effort to come over for parties and dnd, and usually ends up crashing on our couch.\n\nNow our dungeon master (Lets call him Bob) is a great dungeon master but a kinda control freak in all aspects of his life. I've never really seen eye to eye with him but my boyfriend is good friends with him. The one thing he hates is people last minute cancelling plans, which I 100% understand most of the time, but I also know that life happens and sometimes not everyone can make it. Joe has actually always been pretty good with coming. He has had to cancel a couple of times but was able to give notice and we rearranged for a better time.\n\nYesterday I woke up to see a mess in our group chat. From what I can gather, Joe had to cancel for a last minute work trip. They are flying him out to the US today for a week, and he had just found out. He was estatic, however this meant he obviously wouldn't be able to make our session, and Bob lost his shit at him. Partly due to the last minute cancellation but I feel like something else might have happened because he is not normally a super angry person. Joe even said he was happy for us to play without him but Bob was not having that. He doesn't like people missing out on his story because he works hard on it.\n\nAnyway, I tried to defuse a little in a different group chat with everyone and a couple of others in, just saying how happy I was for Joe because I knew he wanted to go for a while and stuff, but in the original Dnd chat everyone else was kind of aggresive and taunting saying things like \"Ah, we're going to miss you Joe.\", \"We had a good campain, your character was fun to play with\" and stuff like that as if its already established that he would no longer be welcome at these sessions. I tried again to calm people down saying it was just one session and it was a pretty good reason but people were like \"Nah, if Bob wants him gone, hes gone.\"\n\nMy own boyfriend who was right next to me admitted it was a bit harsh but said there was nothing he could do, but I wasn't taking that. I argued with Bob for a bit longer but he wasn't having none of it. He in the end said something along the lines of \"If you want to go play with Joe, then go. No one is making you turn up to these sessions. You're just the eye candy anyway\"\n\nThat last statement made me mad. The boys have always been super respectful to me playing with them. I really don't think siding with Joe was the wrong thing to do. He has done nothing wrong in my eyes. But seeing as not even my own bf will side with me I'm really sitting back wondering if the other guys have a point, or are they all just sucking up to Bob?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 125,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for naming my daughter something that relates to my sister’s death?",
    "body": "Im trying to keep this as anonymous as possible so I’m sorry if anything is unclear. 7 years ago when I was 18, my older sister died in a car accident near a place that she loved not far from where we grew up, a body of water named after a precious stone. She was a very free spirited, aligned with nature type, and from what I gather she used to cleanse crystals there, which was fitting because of the name. When she passed our family found a lot of solace and beauty in that location, it was always very positive and comforting to go there and it still is. Recently I became pregnant, and during a conversation with my MIL, she happened to suggest the name of the location of my sisters death. She had no idea about this, but my husband and I immediately looked at each other and knew it’d be perfect. I know my sister would love the idea. Well, when I told my mom, she lost it. She immediately got emotional and we got into a bit of an argument about how I could even think to name her grandchild that, and how it’s morbid and inappropriate. The thing is, I don’t see it that way. I see it as a perfect way to honor my sister, considering we spent so long in morning treasuring that place. WIBTA if I name my daughter this? I don’t think any other name would feel right, but i don’t want the rest of my family to react like my mother did.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 126,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for postponing a trip day?",
    "body": "I’ll just get right into it.\n\nToday my sister, her boyfriend and I were all supposed to drop acid. I’ve taken LSD quite a few times in the past and was supposed to be their trip sitter today seeing as it would be their first time taking it. We talked it through a ton and we were all excited and looking forward to experiencing it together. Fast forward to this morning, where I woke up feeling a little worse than usual (I’d been dealing with a cold for about 2 days and was hoping it would vanish by today) so I got up a little early and made myself some tea, took two teaspoons of cough syrup and even bundled up before heading outside to take the dog to pee. It’s around 10am at this point and I go to my sister and gently let her know that it might not be the best day since I was feeling really sick, but that I’d still try and make myself feel better so the possibility of us taking it could be there. She was immediately passive aggressive, was short with me and just refused to look in my general direction. I ascertained again that I’d try and make myself feel better, and left to make more tea. \n\nFast forward a couple of minutes and I knock on the bedroom door where my sister and her boyfriend are just to see how they’re feeling, and I asked if they still wanted to go to the store to pick up some fruits for the trip. Essentially, my sister angrily says she assumed the trip wasn’t happening, but I mentioned again I said earlier I’d try to make myself feel better. It broke down into her asking me if I thought her and her boyfriend were both babies and unable to take it on their own, and me trying to explain that that just wouldn’t be responsible of me and if it was their first time it would be better for them to have a sitter. I was really just trying to implore that it wasn’t the best time at that point since my sister was incredibly passive aggressive and bitter. She told me to leave her alone and I left. \n\nI know they’re both adults (sister [19]F and her boyfriend [20]M, and myself [22]F) and can take it on their own if they want to. My sister did send me a transfer to pay for their tabs but I just know it wouldn’t be wise to let them just go at it alone, especially with this tense and uncomfortable atmosphere. I’m considering just giving it to them regardless at this point. I feel guilty for being sick and tried to make myself better because I know they were looking forward to it, but I’m being perceived as the bad guy for not letting them take it on their own. AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 127,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for buying products elsewhere after a business owner recommended to buy from a competitor.",
    "body": "AmItheAsshole\n\nI recently started selling a new product in my local community and needed some t-shirts made up advertising the new products for when I deliver them and show them off at local markets etc.\n\nI looked on line for a price and could have had them made with Vistaprint which is a large online print  company. Instead I decided to keep my business local and contracted a local company to make them up for me despite them being slightly more expensive than the online alternative. I messaged the company to ask for a price for some other Tshirts, signs etc and she quoted me a price.\n\nRecently other people in my area have started selling the same products, i have no issue with this. \n\nHowever I have noticed that the local business that I contracted has purchsed the products from another seller AND is recommending that people use that person to purchase the products from instead of me.\n\nThe lady at the print company messaged to ask if her quote was acceptable  and i replied that I have decided to purchase these from online supplier. She then had a go about not supporting businesses... My argument is that she knew I sold the products and decided to go to a different supplier so I owe her no loyalty at all.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 128,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not accepting my brother's apology?",
    "body": "Backstory: My brother has a history of anger issues and random outbursts, hurting others in the process. Our relationship has always been strained because he hurts me emotionally and physically. Every once in a while he goes off the rails and flips out on me, forcing me to lock myself in a room while he tries to get in. This always ends with him either going back to his room and screaming or him crying and saying he's sorry and wants to have a \"normal relationship.\"\n\n​\n\nSo, this leads to our main story. Yesterday, my brother walked into the dining room while I was eating and asked me to put away the clean dishes. I told him I would do it when I was finished eating. I don't know why, but this triggered another outburst where in it he called me a non-functioning member of society, a waste of oxygen, a disappointment to our parents, and then threw a plate at me. (This is usually what happens.) I tried to ignore it to diffuse the situation, but then he took all the dirty dishes from the counter, brought them to my room and stashed them in odd places, all the while yelling obscenities at me. After a while, he cooled down enough to come into the room and tried to talk to me, saying he was sorry. I asked him to please leave me alone and that I was done accepting his apologies and promises to be better because they never held. I was very blunt with it, and he freaked out again, throwing a candle at me, a glass at the ground (which shattered and I had to clean up before school the next morning) and smashing a table. This was the point where I locked myself in the bathroom because I didn't want to get hurt, and he came up and stood outside the door saying he was sorry and to forgive him. I didn't answer him, and he called me an asshole. AITA for not accepting his apology?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 129,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for getting high in my friends’ house?",
    "body": "I live in a state where recreational pot is legal. (And if I didn’t, who cares, really?)\n\nI have just moved in with a few friends (rent free) while I get myself established here. I haven’t gotten high in over a year just because it was too hard to get pot where I lived. \n\nI live with someone who has a family history of addiction. He has never talked about it with me, but his wife has. \n\nI’d like to partake but I also don’t want to overstep my boundaries while they’re being so gracious and so good to me. \n\nWhether or not I should, would I be an asshole for doing it?\n\nEdit: My question isn’t so much can I smoke in the house (I wouldn’t do that even if they said I could) but WIBTA if I were high in their house? I should have made that clearer. I’m sorry.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 130,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for policing my friend's lines on our rap battles?",
    "body": "Okay so maybe this is gonna sound like I'm looking for validation but most of my friends say I'm in the wrong.\n\nMe and my Erik are both 16, and we write rap battles between our teachers in our spare time for fun. Our teachers love them as they're typically school appropriate, and we try our best not to make jabs between teachers too personal (not cracking jokes about a teacher's personal life, keeping it about what they show at school, the subjects they teach)\n\nRecently, Erik texted me two verses he wanted me to choose between, with verse 1 having the top line in it, verse 2 having the second:\n\n1. You can't think straight, even though I'm the queer\n2. You look like a horse, and I can't stand nickers\n\nI immediately told him I didn't approve of either, my reasoning being that I didn't feel comfortable using queer, since it means strange, and the second one is a joke about the N word.  I tell him why I'm against both and he responds \"Then why is it lgbtq, if they use it it's not offensive\" and \"It doesn't actually say the N word, it just sounds like it, it's fine.\"\n\nI tell him, again, that I'm not a fan of either line, that we can't use them if teachers are gonna read the raps. I also offer to help him come up with a new line if he can't think of anything, and that I like both the verses otherwise. A few minutes later, he tells me to decide between the two lines, he won't rewrite them because they're fine. I then copy the first verse onto the Google Doc, changing the line to something I believe to be a bit more suitable, though not a very strong line. I tell him what I did and he drops it there.\n\nLater, when I told a third friend what happened he said I was a bit of a dick and that Erik's first verse was fine originally. I thought it was fine because I told Erik I changed the line and, being an online document, we could always change it to something better, but thinking about it, maybe I'm letting my opinion cloud what others deem a good line? This isn't really about the second line, Erik tells me he sees how that one wouldn't fly, but he sees no problem with the use of queer, and neither does the third friend. Am I being the asshole here?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 131,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not tipping on a gratuity included bill.",
    "body": "Went out to a nice fancy restaurant with a date. Food was good, server was nice and I was expecting to leave a nice tip but when the bill came out I noticed an 18% charge for gratuity right above the tax.  There was also a line on the recipe to write in a standard tip that I’m accustomed to but I wrote 0 on that line. My date thought I was an asshole but I maintain that if gratuity is included on the bill then I shouldn’t be expected to tip on top of that.   AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 132,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for having asked for money back for a shared purchase from an ex",
    "body": "This has been bothering me for a few years, so here we go;\n\nA couple of years back I lived with my then-boyfriend in his apartment for 1 year to attend school in that city.\nI was unable to get a job during the time, so my only income was school support of DKR 900, or ~$135 pr month. Despite this, I agreed to pay half of all rent, bills and utilities, which totaled at around DKR 3000, or $450 month, if he payed for groceries. This meant that I had to use all my income, and payed the rest with my hard earned savings, which were meant to take me to Japan after graduating. I feel like it’s relevant, that during this, my ex himself was making DKR15000-18000/$2250-$2700 pr month, and therefor did not need my help to make ends meet. To help out I was also during the majority of the cleaning and shopping, as well as all the cooking and laundry.\nDespite knowing that I had a heavily negative income, he didn’t really get it, and talked me into buying lots of stuff, including (most expensively and the reason for this post) a shared PS4 when they came out.\nWhile we were dating, he offered a few times to pay me my half for it, but in my naive pride, I refused.\nI finished school and moved out to live at a boarding school about an hour away to study Japanese. During my first 6 months, he visited me once and never wanted to talk, and when seeing him at Christmas, I realized that I was hoping for him to break up with me. He did not, so I worked up my guts for about a month and after talking with some friends, I broke up with him in early February. He did not take it well, but was “nice” enough to return most of my things.\nAbout a month or two later, I remember the PS4, and text him asking for the money. He refuses. I then offer, despite still having a negative income, to buy my half then; again he refuses. This turned into a text fight, in which he claimed that since he payed groceries for a year, I actually owe him money for that, as well as rent and bills, even though I payed half for the time living there.\nEventually I gave up and tried to let it go, since I was distraught about it, but it’s always kept bothering me, so;\n\nWas ITA for asking for my ex for my half of the money back for the PS4?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 133,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for throwing a hubcap and being angry?",
    "body": "So my 18 yo son is graduating HS today, he was supposed to be at the school at 9am and was only leaving the house at 8:40, about a mile from the house he calls and says he has a flat tire due to a screw he's known about for a while.  So I get off my conference call, go to get the air compressor and it's empty since he didn't plug it back up, so it takes a min to fill up.  I leave and get to him a few min later and he's turned around and DRIVES ALL THE WAY BACK HOME on a flat with me behind him honking and waving.  We get home, I'm like WTF, he says I was taking too long!  I'm pissed but start to put air in his tire, his hubcap, now cracked, was bent over the air plug so I ripped it off, and he freaks out, says it's always been cracked, to LEAVE IT FUCKING ALONE.  He starts pushing me aside trying to put it back on, I'm like 'stop, what are you doing?'  He has an anger issue btw.  So I toss the hubcap off to side and fill his tire up.  He says I broke it now, etc, gets in his car and takes off.  I look at my phone now and he sent a msg saying 'You're an asshole, don't fucking show up at my graduation, I can go a while without seeing you\".  And of course I had plans to meet the grandparents later and go together, get my other son, and meet his mom there too (we're divorced).  But really I just can't believe how volatile he is, I just spent over $1000 on his prom and graduation stuff and I know that's my job as his dad, but there is NO appreciation at all.  I was mad when I threw the hubcap but I don't think it deserves this type of reaction from him.  Should I even go now to his graduation?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 134,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for thinking my boyfriend is cheating?",
    "body": "I recently began dating this guy that I’ve been best friends with for about two years now. We’ve always had a crush on each other, but no one has acted on it, until now. It’s been only a month since we became official, but it already seems like he’s keeping something from me. This is my first “serious” relationship, (I’m 16, btw) and I don’t really know how this stuff works yet. \n\nSo on to the reason I believe he’s cheating/keeping something from me:\nLast weekend, he went over to some girls house that I do not know. While he was there, he’d take upwards of 3-4 hours at a time to respond to my snapchats, when he usually answers almost Instantly. I’m not one of those psychos that freak out if their SO doesn’t answer right away, but it was out of the ordinary for him. But whatever, I let him enjoy his time with her, although I was jealous. But I felt guilty for being jealous because he’s allowed to spend time with other people.\n\nWe have geography class together, and I sit next to him, and I could see a name on his Snapchat that I recognized. It was this girl I added a while ago. But the problem with this is that the name was changed to be her name, followed by two hearts. When you add her on Snapchat, the hearts are not there. \n\nHe also never lets me see his phone. I’ve noticed that whenever I touch his phone, he freaks. And when he uses it, he purposely points his screen away from me. \n\nAnd, he called my female best friend cute not too long ago. It made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t say anything. He also doesn’t treat me much different from his other friends. He has called me “babe” and “beautiful” a handful of times, but he mostly calls me “fam” or “bro”. It really bothers me, but it’s just a habit for him, as he always calls everyone that.\n\nAITA for thinking he’s cheating/uninterested in me? Or am I overthinking? \n",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 135,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for reporting my friend for animal abuse?",
    "body": "My friend's dog is 18 years old, blind, can barely walk, and can't control its bodily functions anymore. It howls when its left alone because its scared. The poor thing will bump into walls because its blind, and they just joke about it. Saying shit like \"my dog must be immortal, lol\". It hurts me as an animal lover to see that dog in such pain. I hate how my friend and her family just joke about it. They keep saying that they want to put her down, but that its too expensive. Meanwhile, they just took their cat to the vet for some dietary issues. My friend will also say that they can't put the dog down until everyone in the family agrees to it. Only one person doesn't want to let go of this dog, and its my friend's older brother. In these types of situations I believe majority should over rule any feelings. \n\n Its been at least a year since this started, so I can assure that dog it not going to be put down unless animal control or some other animal protection agency steps in. Would I be the asshole for reporting my friend for animal abuse? Could animal control even do anything?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 136,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not going to my grandfather’s funeral during a hurricane?",
    "body": "So there’s a hurricane coming to Florida real soon and my family decided to schedule my grandpa’s funeral the Saturday before the storm hits. The problem is that I live 2 hours away from home because of college and don’t have a car to get back to school before the hurricane in case classes don’t get cancelled and I’m stranded at home (my college town will barely be affected but my hometown is in the direct path). My parents offered to pick me up but refused to bring me back before the storm comes on Monday. So, I decided to just stay at school but now everyone’s pissed at me. I absolutely love my grandpa and would do anything for him, but I can’t really afford to miss school right now since the semester just got into full swing. Am I the asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 137,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I ask my boss to tell our coworker to use headphones and to tone down the essential oils?",
    "body": "Ever since our secretary got her own office, she’s been listening to music without headphones and using an essential oil diffuser. \n\nThe music I wouldn’t mind, but it’s really loud and distracting. I also wouldn’t mind the diffuser but whatever she uses is migraine-inducing. Both me, my boss and a few others have kindly asked her to use headphones and space out her diffusing. She’ll stop for a few days but picks it up again. It’s gotten to the point where I have to shut my door if I want to get anything done, which sucks because we have an open-door policy. \n\nI know that getting my boss involved again isn’t the asshole move because my boss has done so before. What makes it a potential YTA is that our secretary is already the loner on our team for reasons unrelated to the above problem.  We have made every effort to include her in things like team lunches, inside jokes, etc. but she is just anti-social. We have given up and rarely make an effort to even speak to her if it’s not 100% necessary. We also complain about her in each other’s offices (whispering so she can’t hear us) because the quality of her work is mediocre at best and I often have to pick up her slack or redo her work completely.  I’m afraid that getting my boss involved again will only further ostracize her, thus making me the asshole.\n\nEdit: by office I really mean a super private cubicle so it’s not like she can close a door. We call it an office because she was sharing a cubicle with two other people at our last place, so this new one is a lot more private.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 138,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not wanting to go to my friend's birthday party?",
    "body": "I have a friend whose boyfriend's birthday is this Sunday. I've hung out with him and his boyfriend only a few times, but we're pretty good friends. He texted me saying that he was planning on celebrating his boyfriend's birthday by taking him out to a restaurant and then just walking around the city, but he also said it would be fun if I came along, since the three of us have hung out a couple of times without any problems. I told him that sounded like a good idea.\n\nNow, my friend changed his mind and told me that instead of going out to eat and just explore around and have fun, he's gonna throw his boyfriend a surprise birthday party and invite a bunch of people. I have social anxiety, so I start to feel really nervous and uncomfortable when I'm with a small group of people I don't know. It's not a huge party, it's a handful of people (like 10-12 I think) that all know each other and are close, so I wouldn't be able to just kinda fade into the background or anything. People would notice me not saying anything and just staying in my corner, which would make me feel even worse. I've been in these situations before, and every time I get too nervous to start or continue conversations with people, so I always end up uncomfortable and by myself.\n\nI told my friend I don't really feel like going for these reasons, and now he's upset. So, AITA?\n\n​\n\n",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 139,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I told my wife’s cousin and her husband to stop bringing their dog over to our house?",
    "body": "Their dog is a really nice dog but she’s still a learning puppy and still very hyper and I have no problem with dogs, I love them, but our landlord has doesn’t like them and since it’s her house, her rules trump my like for dogs.  Second, we have a cat, Louie, who is our baby and this is his home and I don’t feel it’s fair to him that he be terrified in the basement.  Today we spent the day with them and when they showed up they had their dog with them and never let us know until they got here, and since they’re spending the night tonight, that means their dog is staying too, which honestly, I’m not okay with.  So WIBTA if I told them that they can no longer bring their dog with them?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 140,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I refuse to invite my grandpa to my wedding",
    "body": "My grandpa has never vocalized any issue with my fiancé, but I know he has an issue with the fact that we’re an interracial couple so I’ve only brought my fiancé around him once or twice. My fiancé and I agreed to invite him to the wedding so long as he continues to keep his thoughts to himself so we don’t stir the pot.\n\nMy sister just got married and my fiancé and I obviously went together. During the reception we were being a little lovey dovey. We were sitting facing each other and holding hands and my fiancé was playing with my hair and touching my face a bit, but nothing gross. We rarely even kiss in public. My grandpa started loudly complaining that we were being gross and inappropriate and making everyone uncomfortable. At first I was embarrassed, but then a lot of wedding guests were coming up and telling us that we didn’t do anything wrong and we weren’t being any more lovey dovey than my cousins and their SOs. It seems like my grandpa freaked out because he doesnt like our relationship, and that really upset me. I’m thinking now that I don’t want him at our wedding because I can’t trust him not to make a scene. Even if it’s not about my boyfriend/his family being black, I’m worried he’ll harp on something else more “acceptable.” My boyfriend is letting me make the call. Some of my extended family will be super pissed if I don’t invite him because he hasn’t said anything directly offensive. WIBTA if I didn’t invite him?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 141,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For leaving our daughter without money or anywhere to live?",
    "body": "Hi all,\n\nOur daughter just graduated from University with a degree in art. We (the parents) work as doctors and always tried to steer our daughter towards a high paying profession but her passion for art throughout school was very strong. When it came time for her to apply to University we told her that we won't pay for tuition if she studies something that doesn't have a good rate of return. She borrowed around $150k (NZD) of student loans to do her art degree and now she has a job that pays significantly less than the average wage doing some casual painting for small studios and her overall prospects don't look good - almost 100% of her paycheque goes on a rented apartment that she shares with two other people.\n\nWe haven't told her, but we're going to pay off her student loan debt this year so she can be debt free.\n\nWe (parents) want to sell our house and leave the country, we're looking at moving from New Zealand to Europe so we can enjoy skiing in the winter and french vineyards in the summer. We're in our 50's now so we feel like we've earned the right to start enjoying our lives rather than continuing to live in the city.\n\nOur daughter recently asked if she could move back in with us in order to reduce her living expenses, we told her that we are planning on moving to Europe. She suggested that we let her stay in our house after we leave; we really need to sell the house as we need the money. She is incredibly angry at us for \"abandoning\" her. We feel that as a 22 year old adult, she should be able to take care of herself, we gave her access to the best private schools in the area, the best after school tutors and her grades were A's across all subjects. She chose to live the life of a suffering and poor artist despite us trying to get her interested in medicine, law, business etc. We tried not to push her too hard towards things that she had no interest in but we really did try to show her that art isn't going to let her live the kind of life that she became accustomed to when she lived with us (ski trips, nice houses, restaurants etc).\n\nAre we the assholes?\n\n​\n\nEDIT: I just want to point out that we HAVE NOT had an \"I told you so\" moment with her where we make her feel bad for studying art. We love our daughter greatly but we really want to retire and get out of this city living.\n\n​\n\nSecond ",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 142,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for blocking my aunt on social media",
    "body": "So 2 years ago I blocked my aunt on Facebook because she use to comment on everything ( I mean literally everything) within the first 5 minutes of it being online. \n\nLike it makes me really uncomfortable because not only can her friends see my photos when she comments on them but my friends can see her comments as well.\n\nFor those who are wondering the comments are ones that should properly be sent via PM like her mobile number or my personal favourite  when she commented on a photo that I took and tagged my entire drama (theatre) class in  and said “Oh hi lostmywaybackhome, Granny is flying over to see you now.”\n\nAs you can properly tell it’s a privacy issue, but it’s more than that.  It’s even worse when friends tag me in photos and she would respond so then my friends and family would see my aunt trying to be cool and hip by making “jokes”. One time she even posted her mobile number on a photo a friend of mine posted of me so everyone saw that.\n\nBut to make matters worse I would post something that I’m proud of (like passing all of my year 12 classes) and she would comment like “Oh you should check out my video about my horse”. Like she made everything about her and her horse. I showed a friend whose parents bred horses if she was using the correct technique and apparently she wasn’t.\n\n\nI did ask her to be careful and to reduce the amount of comments because I found it weird. But she just laughed and said it wasn’t a big deal  which made me feel like I was somehow in the wrong.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 143,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for wanting my cat back?",
    "body": "So a little over 6 months ago I(21F) moved out of my old apartment. My lease had come to an end and while I wasn’t planning on moving out at first I abruptly decided too after a few bad altercations with my roommate towards the end. \n\nWhen I decided to move out it was very last minute and didn’t give me time to save or find a new place. I had nowhere for me or my cat. So when my BFF(21F) and her roommate(23F) offered to take my cat I was beyond relieved. They said they would be happy to take her as long as I needed. \n\nWhen I moved my cat in I had brought her litter box, litter, food, toys, scratching post, etc. And I told my best friend that of course when she ran out of food and litter or anything I’d pay for more. \n\nSo her roommate fell absolutely in love with my cat and actually offered to buy her. I told her that I wasn’t really looking to give her up but if I couldn’t find a place that wouldn't allow cats she could have her for free. \n\nAfter about 2 months of me not finding a place the roommate made it clear she would be happy to start buying her litter and food and I could just pay her back whenever. I told her it was fine and that I had the money but she absolutely insisted. But anytime I tried to pay her back she would not accept it.\n\nAfter 4 months of me still not finding a place I found out the roommate had taken my cat to the vet without telling anyone. She saw my cat scooting on the carpet and assumed she had worms. If she had just asked me I would have told her she sometimes gets litter stuck to her butt and that’s her trying to get it off because I had already had her checked for the same reason. Even tho I saw no reason for the vet visit I still offered to pay her back because I appreciated her concern for my cat and she said it was alright. \n\nSo flash forward to today and I have just moved into my apartment yesterday and I want my cat back. So I texted my BFF I’m coming over to get my cat and so she tells her roommate. Her roommate then proceeds to tell her that she thought the cat was hers now and she won’t be giving it back. My BFF told her she wasn’t her cat but she then proceeds to lock my cat in her room so we can’t get her. \n\nWhen I got there she still refused to give me my cat. She told me because it’s been so long and she’s been taking care of the cat and paying for everything she has claim to it. I told her I’d pay her back for everything and for it’s care and she told me no she wants the cat. I told her no and she actually started fucking crying. She told me she just loved my cat so much and didn’t want to give her back. I ended up just saying she can stay her for the night but I’ll be back tomorrow to get my cat.\n\nI now feel bad because she had bonded with my cat so much but I love my cat, too and I want her back. I guess it has been a really long time but I was kinda being picky with apartments because they were happy to have her. AITA for wanting her back now?\n\nEDIT: I got my babes back!!!\n\n[Her names kyoko!](https://imgur.com/a/SB1VJ6J)",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 144,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for wanting to break-up with a clingy friend?",
    "body": "I met this person (K) a few months ago at a social group I'm a part of, on paper they seemed like a great \"friend match\" for me, similar interests, similar personality (I thought), etc. My roommate and I hung out with them once outside the social group, and it was fine, we casually mention inviting them over at some point and carry on. Saw them at the social group and hung out with them again once or twice after that. Then I randomly got a late night (I'm thinking drunken) message about how we're not putting any effort into the friendship and we don't seem to be invested, we maybe knew this person for like a month at this point. I apologized saying it wasn't intentional and we'll do better. So we hung out with them a few more times, invited them to group outings, etc. \n\n​\n\nA few weeks later roommate and I were invited to a party by someone K didn't know, but a lot of people K met through this group went. K asked to hang out that day and I declined, saying I wasn't feeling it. Some of them posted about it on social media, which K saw and immediately messaged me asking if I was there, not wanting her to go off on me again I just lied and said I wasn't (which I'll admit was an asshole move). They apologized for making assumptions and we once again carried on. \n\n​\n\nNow here's the thing about K, they seem to have a superiority complex and can be pretty mean. At a party, they made fun of people they had just met and stuck by my side pretty much the entire time. They went to a prestigious college and come from a wealthy family and they seem to bring that into conversation A LOT. Conversations with them can sometimes feel like a one-upping competition, and they can hold you hostage in conversation for a LONG time. Honestly, they're just a tough person to be around. \n\n​\n\nThey've also gotten a little clingy/obsessive with my and my roommate's friends. Picking up on similar interests (that they clearly didn't care about before), butting into conversations with them to talk about themselves, and inviting themselves to things/forcing friendship. Which I understand is part of getting to know people, but then they'll turn around and shit talk about them to me after. They're basically assuming that everyone wants to be friends with them, and they're being very aggressive in their pursuit while making other people really uncomfortable in the process (and some of my friends have said this). \n\n​\n\nIt's at the point where I feel like I can't do anything without them with \"mutual friends\" because they'll call me out for not inviting them, and when I do hang out with them in group settings they make the other people there uncomfortable or make a joke that goes too far. \n\n​\n\nSo reddit, am I the asshole for wanting to end my friendship with this person?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 145,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for rarely giving my neighbor anything back in return?",
    "body": "I am a live-in caregiver for my mom. My mom is bedridden mostly, except when I put her into a wheelchair with a hoyerlift. Since my mom makes a little too much money to qualify for a lot of programs, we basically pay for everything out of pocket and it can get pricey. My neighbor, which is a lifelong friend of ours,  (my mom has known her since she was a child) gives us some supplies that she herself receives but doesn't use every month. \n\n​\n\nLately, she's been acting weird. She barely says hi to me and has not given us supplies. I have not asked, I never do. Although I seen the supplies in her house. I can only surmise that it's because I don't tend to give her anything in return. She has trouble walking and gets around mostly in an electric scooter. She doesn't drive.  \n\n​\n\nAbout a month ago I put a stop to her asking me for things. This is what would happen... I would go to the store, come back home and see her riding around the neighborhood, she would see me get out of the car with groceries and say, \"Whyyyyyyyyy didn't you tell me you were going to the store?\". Next time, I would come back from CVS and she would say, \"Whyyyyyyyyyyy didn't you tell me you were going to CVS?\" I would tell her I'm sorry, I didn't know. And it actually started to piss me off. She did this multiple times to the point where I started looking out of my door before I left and I would peek into the neighborhood before I drove in, to make sure she wasn't there. It got that bad. In my opinion, I shouldn't have to check if she needs something every single time I go somewhere. So I told her exactly that. And she said that I was right. And then she kind of stopped saying that. \n\n​\n\nMy thought was that she seems to be under the impression that I have to give her something just because she gives me something. BTW, I have no problem with giving her something. I have offered her money in exchange for the supplies and she doesn't want it. She wants me to basically run errands for her. Or take her to the store. \n\n​\n\nHere's the thing about me: I take care of my mom 24/7 with barely a life of my own. And also suffer from anxiety. I just do not have the time to deal with an extra \"thing\". I do not care if I don't get supplies from her. It was a lot of help, but I don't think that I should have to worry about taking care of another person because of it. So, I just started buying the supplies myself this month. \n\n​\n\nBut am I the asshole for not wanting to do anything back for my neighbor? She is now acting really shady toward me and I'm just following her lead and not really talking to her back.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 146,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for complaining about housemates music?",
    "body": "I moved into a new house yesterday. So far I've had Friday night where all 3 of the other housemates were sitting in the kitchen drinking and playing loud music - I'm quite a heavy sleeper but at 12.30am was woken by laughing, music, screams every so often. After 45 mins I went down, had a chat and they apologised for being drunk etc.. and waking me - fine, everyone's happy and we got on well.\n\nNow tonight, one of the guys came home from work at 2am and his music has been blaring from his room for almost 90 mins. I've been sitting with white noise playing in earphones for almost the whole time.There's another guy who's at home and I don't know if it bothers him too but it's heavy bass and techno? (I don't know, something shit)\n\nI don't know at what point I'm the asshole if I keep asking them or report to landlord. I know it's only been 2 days, but I've been woken twice for hours at a time.\n\nWIBTA if I messaged the landlord? What should I do?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 147,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA- not having a full body picture on my Tinder",
    "body": "I used to have a few pictures with my body showing, but I constantly got creepy messages about my body (yes, I was fully clothed in the photo) because I have a disproportionately large chest. So now all my photos are of my face or cropped so you can't really see my body. However, several men have messaged me and told me that women on tinder should include full body pics, and I recently got similar feedback from a date. AITA for not having a full body picture uploaded?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 148,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for making my brother walk three hours home at 2am?",
    "body": "Recently, I hosted a family get together. My brother, we’ll call him Mike, and his gf, we’ll call her Jen, got into a yelling match in my driveway at 1am. Mike is drunk and angry. Jen [sober] is crying. I was fed up with the night since 1) my sister had gotten belligerent earlier that night 2) I was too sober for this and 3) it was 1fuckingAM. My parents stepped in to diffuse the situation. My mom decided that she’ll drop Mike home and Jen will crash at my house. Everyone else cleared out.\n\nAfter comforting Jen a bit, we call it a night and go to bed. My SO KO’d, but I was still wired that I was unable to sleep. Very faintly, I hear knocking. I go downstairs and find Mike quietly talking to Jen. its 2am. Annoyed and angry, I asked what’s going on? He got an Uber over. Mike went from quiet to loud/aggressive. “I’m taking Jen home.” I told him that we weren’t gonna do this now and Jen wasn’t going home with him. Jen didn’t object. She told me earlier that she did not feel comfortable sleeping at the same house that night.\n\nEdging Mike out of my home, I told him that he shouldn’t have come. He should’ve stayed home and grabbed Jen in the morning. He’s standing outside my door at this point. He goes “really? You’re going to keep her in and kick ME out? Guess I’ll just walk home.” Okay. I closed my door and locked it. I figured that since he Uber’d over that he’d Uber back. He’s a big boy. He comes back a minute later. More knocking. “REALLY. YOU’RE GONNA MAKE ME WALK HOME?!” Told him “yes, you didn’t need to come back here at 2am and demand that Jen follow you home.” He texted me five minutes later, thanking me for making him walk home. I told him that he found a way over and he can find a way back. \n\nIf it means anything, I *did* hear earlier that day that he didn’t have much $ in his account, but that didn’t cross my mind at the time. Apparently, he did indeed walk home. Took him three hours. Now he’s angry at me because I didn’t allow him to crash at my house and he had to walk. AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 149,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for going off on a professor",
    "body": "I was in class in the middle of the day it was my 3rd class of the day and I was tired and don't really like the teacher we can call Nat I don't like her because she never grades assignments and doesn't put in any effort in the class. Nat is 2 months behind in grading and keeps giving the class essays that she will probably not grade, but will make us do until the end of the semester. \n\nThis last class was bad and Nat was teaching a lesson that I wouldn't gain any use from so was talking to a buddy of mine, and she was eyeing me the entire class and I would just blow her off. And I would ask Nat when she was going to grade all these assignments to her, and she would tell me, \"when I feel like it\" when these grades matter a lot and it would piss me off and I always kept it in as I talked to her bosses and they didn't help either. \n\n During a time where we discussed our thoughts on the subjects I was talking to that same buddy and she called out to the class, \"People need to stop talking about stuff that doesn't matter\" and I replied, \"are you calling me out?\" and we exchanged some words in front of the entire class that were not very appropriate and it got heated and she told if I needed to leave and I told her \"I was fine where I was\" and than she told me I was acting like a child who was having a power struggle which wasn't the case. \n\nLooking back at it now I regret it, because it was in public and I made the entire class feel awkward am I the asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 150,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not doing gift giving holidays",
    "body": "On mobile so possible formatting and grammar issues, sorry. It's probably important to note that I'm on the autism spectrum and can have a lot of issues with social cues and understanding cultural expectation type things.\n\nSo, I'm in America but pretty much the only holidays I kind of celebrate are new years, Valentine's, Thanksgiving, and Halloween. Mostly because I'm a really big fan of big meals and I have a sweet tooth. \n\nFor very many years now I haven't celebrated any of my family's birthdays, I haven't done Christmas, no father's or mother's day calls or gifts, etc, but my family always tries to force me into these things and refuses to respect that I don't want to do them. Its a bit that I'm a different religion from everyone else in my family but also just that all of those kinds of days feel really gross to me - just spending money because our culture says we suck if we don't, or calling a relative only because we're expected to, you know? Every year for almost a decade now they still ask what I want for my birthday or for Christmas and I always tell them nothing please it's been (x) years, please just respect this for once. And every year they're always annoyed that I don't want to be around during those kind of holidays for them to give me things and that I don't get them things. It's frustrating as hell.\n\nThey're starting to get more annoyed at me for not doing things like mother's and father's day too. I absolutely HATE doing phone calls and have really bad anxiety on top of just flat not wanting to, but they've tried to push me into calling family and wishing them happy mother's and father's days or calling them on their birthdays but I just really don't want to do it. It's so many awkward phone calls just so they don't think I hate them and so I don't think they're gonna be upset.\n\nBut like, I know that even if I don't celebrate these things they still do, and that to them it feels like I just don't want to celebrate them as a person I guess? AITA for not just participating in the gift giving and talking? How can I get them to lay off of me about not wanting to participate in things?\n\nEDIT for info: With all of the holidays mentioned besides Valentine's I'll go out to their houses and spend time with them then and talk, help cook and clean, and hang out. For Valentine's it's normally just me and my partner and very small things like stuffed animals as comfort items and I'll buy candy for us both because I just fucking love candy. I'll buy candy for us both year round but there's just so much more candy on Valentine's. \n\nI'm a Buddhist convert and the religious objection is a whole thing about the suffering caused by desiring objects and putting value in things that can break or make you feel bad etc, and I try to not even place that much value in the things I have, no matter how expensive. I think I explain it better in a reply I made. Really hard to explain my feelings about it without sounding pretentious I think. Expressing feelings in general isn't my strong suit.\n\nI also mentioned in a reply that with phone calls I'll ANSWER them but really don't make any phone calls and hardly even leave my room if it's not for work and school. I didn't even call any of my friends or family when I was hospitalized for mental health, and not because I didn't wanna talk to them. Everything about phone calls stresses me out - i don't understand what times of day it's okay to call, how many times to try, what to leave in a message if I don't get through, when or how to end a call, etc - but a lot of family has said that just texting this kind of stuff feels rude.\n\nSince it seems like it's agreed that IATA here, at least specifically for mother's and father's day, I really have to wonder exactly how far out into my family I should be expected to do things? In-laws, family members that haven't really treated me or others well, family I barely know, just kind of everyone? I have a really big extended family, not counting in-laws, and feel like it would be unreasonable to get everyone presents or cards or call every single person or remember every birthday even for people I've only met once but who means I wouldn't be alive if they didn't have kids. I also am worried that if I gave concession here they'll take that to mean okay I'm doing everything now, not just this one thing.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 151,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for ending my friendship with a childhood friend due to his strange girlfriend?",
    "body": "This happened two years ago, but to this day, I feel guilty. Long story short, I grew up with Ted, my ex-best friend of about 12 years. \n\nTed and I felt more like brothers than anything else. I trusted him with everything in my life, and he did the same with me. He ended up moving abroad and meeting his current girlfriend who I'll call Melissa. \n\nMelissa seemed great at first. She was really nice to me and Ted and other mutual friends. After months of dating, Melissa made me really uncomfortable. She added me on all of my social media accounts and started sending me private messages, asking if I was online to talk. I told Ted about these messages, and he said she was just trying to be nice.\n\nOnce when I was online, she started messaging me, telling me intimate details about arguments she had with Ted. She wanted my advice. I told Ted all about this, and he just blew it off. The messages got so weird, I ended up telling Ted that her messages were getting too intense. \n\nGuess what? He told her everything I said. After this, she started spamming my facebook with messages calling me a cuck, a fag, and other slurs just because I didn't want her messaging me. I showed everything to Ted, and he didn't defend me or stand up to her. She kept sending me abusive messages until he finally \"talked\" to her about it. \n\nEventually, I told Ted I didn't want to be friends with him anymore if he was going to let his GF ruin our friendship. He told me I was overreacting and didn't understand why I was ending our friendship. After this, I never talked to him again.\n\nJust a few days ago, a mutual friend of ours told me Ted still hates me because I \"abandoned\" him over something stupid. AITA for ending this friendship?\n\ntl;dr ... best friend of years gets a gf who harrassed me on social media. When I told him I didn't want to be friends anymore, he said I was overreacting.\n\nUpdate: The messages she sent me mostly bashed Ted and his shortcomings in their relationship. They also mentioned other private aspects of their lives that weren't any of my business knowing. I did tell her these messages made me uncomfortable and that I didn't really know how to respond to her comments. She kept sending me messages even after this, though. I also only knew her for four months at this point.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 152,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For Selling a giveaway while on a date the girl payed for.",
    "body": "First post here. I (28M) started talking to this girl(25F) about a month ago for our second date she decided to take me to the local baseball teams game. I not really big into baseball was like sure sounds fun after realizing she had already bought the tickets for both of us. Much to my surprise they were doing free T shirt give aways to the first X amount of people who got there. So we both get our free shirts and start walking towards our seats. I am all of a sudden approached by a random individual who offers me 10 dollars in cash for the give away T shirt. I say sure knowing full well I am never going to wear the shirt in my life. I take the 10 dollars and put it in my pocket and go about my day.  My friend claims IATA because she payed for the game and I should have kept the shirt.  So what do you think ? AITA\n\n​\n\n​\n\nSince some of you have commented I did use that money towards buying her beer and crabdip at the game.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 153,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for asking my friend to cover the cost of my hotel room?",
    "body": "My friend Jesse and his fiancée Evelyn (not real names) are getting married in July and of course, me being a pro wedding photographer, they asked me to shoot the wedding — annoyingly assuming I’d do it for free, which I absolutely would, but I felt a bit sad that they didn’t value my work enough to even offer. Anyway, I said yes, but asked that they cover the cost of my accommodation for an extra night (as I’ll have to be up fairly early to do bridal prep shots and the wedding is a seven hour drive for me), which they said they would do. A few hours later I get a message from Jesse:\n\n“Hey dude. This whole thing seems to be turning into a business arrangement and really you’re coming as a guest — we want you to have fun and we’re only asking for a few snaps and your food is already being covered. I don’t want you thinking we want loads of pics because we don’t.” I feel like the undertone was that they’re paying for food so they don’t expect to pay for the hotel/accommodation for the extra night.\n\nI sent back a polite message detailing why taking wedding photos take so much work and pointing out that I don’t want them or me to feel bad after the fact because I wasn’t 100% on the ball and have heard nothing back and word on the grapevine is I’ve ruffled some feathers. I feel really hurt because a hotel room costs roughly $150 and clearly, they don’t even think my work is worth that much, which was a bit of a blow to my ego.\n\nThat being said, I feel like a $2,000 wedding photography package is a gift in itself and I shouldn’t have to fork out an extra night for a hotel room, but part of me is wondering if I should have just avoided saying anything at all. I feel really anxious and guilty about the whole thing, should I be?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 154,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not bagging my own groceries?",
    "body": "So about six or 7 years ago I decided to take over cooking and shopping duties for my household of 5.  Long before I took over, and for a few years after, the grocery store had your [traditional style checkout stands]( http://i.imgur.com/zpUTnLW.jpg) where the cashier would take your items from the first conveyor (which you typically loaded yourself), scan them, then place them on a second conveyer that would go to a bagger at the end of the stand who would then load your cart.  Practically every lane with the exception of the express lanes was set up like this.  \n\nA couple of years back the grocery store took out the old stands and replaced them with these updated ones that removed the traditional bagger’s area and replaced them with the carousel-style bagging system you typically see at [self-checkouts]( http://i.imgur.com/cx29l8J.jpg).  I suppose you could describe it as a [hybrid of the two stands]( http://i.imgur.com/wgiNaWm.jpg), and though no one comes right out to say it, the intent seems clear to me; They want you to bag your own groceries.  \n\nThere are maybe 1-2 baggers/runners on shift at the time and day I go, when there used to be about one to every lane.  When they were first installed, it was a nightmare.  Lines were stacked up further back than I had ever seen, customers were upset with the new system and many were not afraid to complain to any employee that would listen.  In the time since they were first installed it has gotten a little bit better, though not as fast as it was before, and I am still not having it. \n\n I don’t mind loading my own cart, but I am not going to stand there and bag the groceries when there are plenty of other grocery stores in the area (even ones owned and operated by the same company) that don’t have these new stands.   Every time I shop I play a waiting game with the cashier; who is going to flinch first and start bagging the groceries?  Not I.  I look over to the next lane and see some little old lady bagging her own groceries, and I know others are looking at me and thinking “Look at this asshole, if she can do it, why can’t you?”  My feelings are not that this little old lady should be bagging her own stuff and I shouldn’t, but that neither one of us should, nor should the judging eyes.  And until the store tells me their intent is for me to bag my own stuff, I’ll keep playing this little game to see who gives in first.  \n\n\n",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 155,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not wanting to be out of pocket to return keys?",
    "body": "I stayed in my boyfriend's house last night. We both left for work at the same time this morning, and half way down the road I realised I left my phone under the pillow. He had no time to go back as he needed to catch a specific train so I took his keys and got it myself. The problem then was that we don't work near each other and I would have no chance during the day to return them.\n\n​\n\nI called him when I got into the house and offered to hide the keys in a pile of stuff he has in the porch ready to go to a charity shop and he said no (understandable). When I was on the bus I called him again to discuss what to do, and he said I should put them in a taxi to his job. I work in the City Centre and he works out in a suburb and the total cost would be around €25-€30 so I said no. I offered three alternatives:\n\n1. I meet him during his commute home, he wouldn't even need to step off the train.\n2. I could take the bus out to where he works and give them to him if he's staying in the area late.\n3. I could go to his house when he needs to get in, then go home to my own place from there.\n\n​\n\nEach of these options would take 2+ hours out of my evening.\n\n​\n\nHe refused all of these saying they were too much hassle. At this point we started to argue and fair enough, it was my mistake that I needed to go back and I did technically cause this annoyance, but I don't think it's that big of a deal or anything to fight about, especially considering  I'm offering to do all that running around. He won't be home until 6:45 at the absolute earliest yet he's still demanding I get the keys to him by 5:30. This would mean me leaving work early to bring them, or footing that taxi bill. I ended up scoffing about how big of a deal he was making this and calling him unreasonable before hanging up.\n\n​\n\nI was thinking about it then, and rang him back offering to compromise and pay half of the taxi fare, he could pay whatever was left when the keys arrived. He said no and hung up. I'm in work now way more upset than I should be, and unable to concentrate on my work because I'm worrying about this simple problem being a huge argument.\n\n​\n\nEDIT TO UPDATE: I put his keys in a taxi in the end. It cost €40. I asked him to tell me when it arrived and he allowed me to believe it hadn't when it had, and I got worried and stressed about the driver potentially scamming me and losing the keys and money. I only found out when I offered to go to the police and his reaction was weird and dismissive. I said \"you have the keys don't you?\" and he hung up. Then I got a text saying they keys arrived 10 minutes before that phone call. I'm fucking fuming at how unneccesary the whole fight was, and how unwilling he was so cut me any slack.  We aren't talking right now. ",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 156,
  "fields": {
    "title": "Aita for not lending my friend money even though I can afford it ?",
    "body": "Me and my friend work the same job, same pay etc. I’m pretty frugal and save a lot of my money so I can buy luxury things or do things instead of eating out buying small items frequently. I’d rather have fewer nice things and experiences then indulging on random junk. My friend is the opposite. She blows her money on god knows that and then towards the end of the pay period complains she has no money for gas food and cigarettes. She lives at home with her family and I’ve been over there. They aren’t starving her moms just a. Health nut and my friend ‘doesn’t like her food’. Every two weeks right before we get paid my friend cries and cries about having no money and complains ‘ I’m so hungry I’m nauseous I haven’t eaten in days ‘ ‘I’m gunna run out of gas on my way home’ ‘I can’t go 48 hours until we get paid without a cigarette ‘ and will cry and text me, not outright asking for money but heavily insinuating I could help her out’ I feel awful but I don’t even spend money on those kind of things; fast food or cigarettes. I have the money but I don’t want to give it her because it defeats the whole point of saving. She always offers to get me things when she does have money like pay for my food if we do go out or get me a coffee and I always say no but then when she asks it makes me feel stingey. I’m at the point when I just don’t text back but then she has an obvious attitude with me. Am I the asshole for refusing to give her money? How do nicely shut her down ?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 157,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA Reclining My Seat On A Bus",
    "body": "Was having a debate with a few people and while I already have an idea, I really wanted to get a general sense of opinions and etiquette. \n\nSo I was on a Flix the other day, not too full, and I had the window seat, with the aisle seat empty. Another passenger was directly behind me, his aisle seat also empty. As it was a night bus, I'm tryna catch some Z's, so I pop the seat back and lean on the window. I feel some knees in the back of the seat but think nothing of it. Maybe the dude was caught off-guard and had his legs crossed, needing to shift them accordingly. So I close my eyes and get ready to slumber, when I get a tap on my shoulder. \n\n\"Can you please sit here, so that you can recline your seat?\" he asks, indicating the aisle seat beside where I am sitting. \n\n#\n\n\"Ok,\" I think, \"He asked politely, and I can see how it would be uncomfortable.\" But at the same time, the seat beside him is available, his seat is ALSO reclined to its fullest capacity and there is no one behind him in the aisle. So I respond,\n\n#\n\n\"If it's uncomfortable for you, you can also move to the unoccupied seat beside you, where you wint be bothered.\" As I see it, I am well within my rights to recline, as is he, to request my switch. But if it bothers *him*, why should *I* be the one to move?\n\n#\n\nHe answers, \"But then I won't be able to lean on the window!\"  Seems like we will both have that problem, and I told him as much. But alas, I did end up moving, but only a while later and only because  I was in a seat directly by the back stairs, where there was a little table and lots of space in front where I could put my feet up. In this position, it was more comfortable to be seated in the aisle. No harm, no foul, I guess.\n\n#\n\nBut who was the asshole in this situation? Does everyone not have a right to recline their seat that minimal 4 inches? \n\nI know in some situations, it's best not to recline. For example, a few weeks ago I was sat in front of a morbidly obese man. I could see it was a struggle for him to be in the seat already, and I felt that, if I reclined, this dude would be absolutely stuck. So I sucked it up for the whole 10 hour night bus without reclining (luckily a seat opened up directly in front of mine and I switched  and slept okay for about 4 hours). \n\nAnyways, I appreciate the responses and feedback. Just want to get a general idea and sense of how folks see this particular etiquette.\n\n AITA? \n\nCheers?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 158,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not providing transportation for a roomate that won’t change their morning habits?",
    "body": "Over the past couple months I’ve been woken up multiple times a week hours before I was supposed to be up because of my roomate’s alarm; specifically alarms. They will set multiple alarms or just snooze them for at least an hour if not longer. When asked to not do this because it’s waking me up, they claim it’s their process and when asked to just get up with one they claimed it would only stick for a couple weeks, that’s why they wouldn’t do it. To be fair I’m a light sleeper and I understand needing an alarm to get up but I don’t see why they need hours of ringing intervals. They’ve stated they don’t know why it’s an issue and has apparently tested the sound from her room into mine. I don’t see why I would be making it up or target them for any reason. After me asking again and the explanation of the process and how it won’t stick I’ve told them I won’t provide them with transportation. AITA?\n\nInfo I’ve been providing her with transportation otherwise they would need to take public. Gives them time to sleep in but now I don’t feel I should do something for them if they won’t try to help with an issue that affecting me.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 159,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For leaving my crippled friend behind because he was yelling at me?",
    "body": "So basically, Me and my friends were climbing a mountain one Saturday afternoon, and our crippled friend wanted to join us. We said yes, as there is an easy trail up the first part of the mountain. When we reached the furthest he could go, we stopped. My friends and I wanted to go higher up, but seeing as he couldn't I stayed behind while they went. I hung out with him for a while, but he got annoying fast. He kept whining about how he wished he could go up further, (which I understood), and then he just started pouting and telling me that I was just being there with him because I had to. I tried to tell him that I didn't want him to be alone, but he was just wallowing in self-pity, and eventualy ended up yelling insults at me about random stuff. I finally got fed up and continued up the trail. When we came back he was still sitting there, and he sat in silence the whole way home. Was I the asshole? Let me know please, I kind of feel bad.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 160,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for changing my little brothers account password?",
    "body": "Okay, basically I bought a game for my brother that cost 60 euro and he paid 50 Euro of the price, promising he would pay the rest next month when his student money comes in.\n\nSo it goes a month and he has been playing the game somewhat, he refuses to pay me the remaining 10 euros as he said he would.\n\nI decided to change the password of the account as I knew the password and he did not activate 2FA, note that the account only has the game I bought him.\n\nHe tells my mother that I took his account and she tells me to give it back, I refuse. I told him it's not about the money, it's about the principle.\n\nI am 21, he is 18.\n\nSo AITA?\n\n\n",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 161,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For not telling my girlfriend my password?",
    "body": "So last night me and my girlfriend were just chilling in my room and I go to get my laptop out. She asks what my password is. I tell her I don't want to tell her because it's MY password and then she gets annoyed at me and she doesn't think I trust her.\n\nI don't actually have a problem with her knowing but I don't want her to know it just because it's a nice bit of privacy to have. I'm not hiding anything. Am I being an asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 162,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I ask my girlfriend to shave?",
    "body": "So my girlfriend doesn't shave her pubes and is pretty hairy down there. I've never asked about her grooming habits but from context clues I think she uses scissors to trim it down on occasion and leaves it at that. \n\nNow generally I don't mind this but it does kind of bother me when I go down her, I just don't really like the hair in my mouth and then some always stays and I spit out pieces of hair the rest of the night.\n\nShe's pretty diligent about shaving her legs and armpits and stuff and always(completely needlessly) apologizes if she goes a while without doing that so I know she doesn't have a problem with shaving in general.\n\nI feel like I should note I do a lot of grooming myself. I keep my armpits, pubic area, balls, taint, ass all shaved and wax my back regularly so I don't feel like this is a hypocritical position.\n\nSo, what do you think? WIBTA if I asked her to shave or even just trim with clippers?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 163,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for wearing my gifted comfy slippers (loafers)",
    "body": "Not native english and on mobile, so bear with me.\n\nLast summer we had scorching hot temperatures here, wich led to me not wearing my comfy and warm loafers, but my flipflops instead. Now that fall dawns upon us, i have chosen to start wearing these outdoor gifts from heaven, and thus created a discussion between me and my wife. \n\nShe says i haven't touched them in forever, so she annexed then harder than the russians annexed the crim, and she should wear them. \n\nMy standpoint is that i got them gifted by my mother, and they are mine, wich allows me to wear them. AITA for wearing them even though my wife wants to wear them?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 164,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for being upset with my brother for telling my parents about my drug use?",
    "body": "*Names have been replaced for anonymity*\n\nTwo years ago, my younger cousin James (24) started to dabble with recreational drugs. James lives at home with his parents who are staunchly against drugs. He has always been particularly close with my brother, David (25). David is also not fond of drugs, however his opinion is not as black and white.\n\nAlong with most of my friends, I’ve been a recreational drug user for the last seven years (I’m 26). In no way do drugs permeate throughout any of our lives outside of weekends/festivals and we regularly go months without using.\n\nDavid has always been worried about James’ drug use and has expressed this multiple times (interestingly, he also says my drug use does not bother). It’s not entirely unwarranted as I do agree that James can get a little reckless (I’ve told him to simmer down before too). He’s always receptive and reels it in. It has never gotten to the point where I have been concerned.\n\nRecently my aunty and uncle found out about James’ drug use. They made him promise to never touch drugs again. As we often hang out together, they made the assumption that me and my friends also use. They told my parents about their suspicions who then approached David to confirm them (he did).\n\nMy parents approached me about it two weeks ago which was not pleasant. They’re anti-drug (my Dad’s brother (different uncle) was a heroin addict). It is a part of my life I never wanted to share with them as I don’t believe they will ever be able to discuss or understand drugs objectively.\n\nAs a result of this, I told James we can’t hang out anymore. Even if he stops using, his parents will assume that he still does because we’re hanging out. They’ve explicitly expressed their concern over our fortnightly BBQs (no drugs) and midday study sessions (again, no drugs). The only time they aren’t concerned is when David is also attending.\n\nTo summarise:\n\n* I can't  hang out with James, who along with being my cousin is one of my closest friends\n* James can’t spend time with a lot of his friends due to not wanting to upset his parents further\n* I  dread the idea of spending time with my parents due to the awkwardness of this whole situation (same for my aunty and uncle)\n* My parents think all of my friends are drug addicts (none of them are more than recreational users)\n\nIt’s also negatively impacted my relationship with my brother David as I largely blame him for the entire situation. David thinks that I should apologise to him for directing my anger towards him. I told David that he intentionally dragged me into this to get through to James. He confirmed that along with not wanting to lie to our parents, this was true. He justifies the entire situation as he believes he only did what he had to do to get through to James and stop him from spiralling into drug addiction. I told David that I don’t disagree he is well intentioned, however I strongly believe that his biased opinion of drugs has exaggerated the entire thing.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 165,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for getting annoyed at my girlfriend for having issues with me",
    "body": "It feels like every couple days she has some kind of issue or problem with me and it's always either an abstract concept with no specifics (ex: \"you don't treat me the same way you used to!\") or a blatant assumption based on something I say/do (ex: \"So you're going to stop me from buying things you deem unnecessary!\" because I've told her that she shouldn't starve herself to buy clothes one time when she told me that she was going to).\n\nTurns out I don't react to constant fighting over abstract immeasurable concepts very well and I need more time to myself to recovery and spend less time with her as a result, which only increased the fighting as now she feels \"lonely\" despite me still talking to her for hours a day and giving her support in general.\n\nRecently I've just been getting annoyed every time there's some kind of issue between us. Nothing happens to warrant fighting or arguing but it still happens. I tell her I'd like to invest some money a month for our children when we have them and we're financially stable and she starts a fight with me over her assumptions that I'll make us live \"poorly\" to make up for it. I mentioned to her I'd appreciate it if she bought me flowers sometime (the topic was on the subject of buying flowers) and she starts a fight about how it would make her feel unwomanly. I'm mentally exhausted from fighting so much and she starts a fight about how she feels \"rejected\" and \"lonely\" despite us still talking/hanging out for hours that day.\n\nI feel like an asshole because she's upset over things and it just annoys me and drives us further apart. On the other hand it's awful to have constant fighting over what is literally nothing (assumptions) or abstract concepts like I she feels I don't give her enough attention when I'm talking to her hours a day.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 166,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for refusing to give my ex his sweatshirt back?",
    "body": "2 years ago, I was in high school and dated a guy we’ll call F. It happened as a result of us being in the same friend group and was never very serious. I broke up with him after a month because he was manipulative and tried to get me to choose him over my friends. Towards the end of our relationship, F wanted me to wear one of his sweatshirts to support him since he had a soccer game that day. No problem. He told me I could give it back whenever. We ended up breaking up shortly after, and the sweatshirt was the last thing on either of our minds. For 3 months after the breakup, he stalked me. He would show up to restaurants I was at and outside of my house at night and he would look through my windows and text me about it. So I figured the safest thing to do was no contact and blocked him on every platform. He would keep finding new ones to contact me on, and I would keep blocking him. He even had his little sister try to add me on SnapChat and would keep changing his profile pictures to old pictures of us to try to get me to talk to him. I kept with no contact, and things died down. 2 years later, F has made a new Instagram and messaged me to ask for his sweatshirt back. I don’t want to give it to him. I don’t want it. I don’t wear it. It’s not about the sweatshirt. It’s about the idea of having to see him again. We don’t have any mutual friends who could bring it to him. I feel stuck. I don’t want to be the bad guy and keep something that he cares about and is rightfully his, but I really don’t want to get involved with him again in any way. AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 167,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA (M 43) for asking my wife (F39) to spend more time with her family",
    "body": "Hi assholes.\n\nSo I spend half my time thinking I am well righteous, the other half thinking IATA.\n\nWe have two boys aged 4 and 6. I get them out of bed in the morning, ready them for school, dress, teeth, do homework, make beds, make our bed, sort breakfast and take them to school. She makes their lunches.\n\nWife is up at 5am every morning to go running. Returns at 7am, spends an hour showering and getting ready for work. We both work from home, I am the main breadwinner.\n\nWife fetches kids from school at 5pm and usually makes dinner. Goes to yoga on Wed eve and gym Friday eve, so I cook then. If she is 'out' with her gal pals, usually once but sometimes twice a week, I make dinner. After dinner, I do bathtime and homework, and then I spend an hour or so with my boys playing Xbox or doing puzzles. At 7:45 I chase the lads to wee and get into bed, then I read a storybook and tell them some tales of when I was young. While all this is happening, the Mrs does dishes (I help stack the dishwasher and I always empty it the next morning) or is on her phone.\n\nWife does not involve me or the boys in her sports, actively avoids it. She doesn't like coming with on our Saturday and Sunday walks with the dog + boys, which is hard because 4yo is learning to ride his bike with me pushing, and me also hanging on to an unruly beagle.\n\nSo here's my gripe - I hassle her regularly telling her she needs to be more involved in parenting and she needs to involve  our boys in her sports (she often hints that I should take them to soccer or hockey...but I am a cyclist and a runner and a hiker, and I take my boys cycling, running and hiking). We occasionally have fights over this and she gets very defensive and never admits any fault, but after a fight things will improve for a while as she makes more effort (like taking the laundry off my hands, which does make my life easier).\n\nI have also said to her being up at 5am every morning and out most evenings isn't on; she says her fitness makes her happy and that it isn't her problem if I choose not to go out (I rarely do 'man time' with my mates). I also tell her that she is obsessed with her appearance (she is a very attractive woman) and should tone it down, spending an hour every morning on makeup etc is OTT.\n\nI say she should consider that 'her happiness' isn't the top priority here - I have gladly sacrificed my own in the interests of raising children better, and I have gotten used to doing new things for fun. That aggravates her a lot.\n\nSo, am I the asshole? Bear in mind, the way she will tell this story will probably be radically different, so try put yourself in her shoes. And she is a lovely person, too, we've been married for nearly a decade and together for 15 years.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 168,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I ignored my friends boyfriend every time he apologized?",
    "body": "My friend and I have been pals pretty much since we were in diapers. Grew up together, his parents  call me their other daughter and vice versa. We lost connection for a few years (I was in a different province for a while) and when we reconnected he had a new boyfriend.\n\nWell they've been together a couple years now and I've been slowly losing patience since day one. He apologizes for everything. Every sentence. If my forgiveness isn't convincing enough, he gets somewhat panicked and I'll have to comfort him for 10+ minutes until his next apology.  He'll also move on to try rubbing my shoulders, or braiding my hair, or massaging my hands. I guess he has a need to 'fix' and since he feels his apology isn't enough he goes into care-overdrive. I'm not a fan of any of this. And he has a really hard time backing off when I say no. I had to have a long talk with him and my friend because if I'm being touched after I've asked to stop, I start to panic and and get really angry (on the inside. He doesn't see this) so I've started to just ignore the apologies in case my forgiveness isn't strong enough for him.\n\nI know this is an anxiety response. I have anxiety too. (Along with depression, BPD, and PTSD. Nice little cocktail). But the dude refuses to take medication or see a therapist or do anything that would help him out here. And I can't cut him out without losing my friend, too. They are essentially attached at the hip. I'm scared that one day I'm going to really snap at him and lose my childhood friend in the process.\n\nSo, Reddit, WIBTA if I ignored any and all apologetic advances? Physical included \n\nTl;dr my childhood friends boyfriend is being insufferably apologetic and I'm scared of losing my shit on him (and losing my friend) if I keep having to convince him that everything is okay.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 169,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I asked that everyone at my wedding go dairy free?",
    "body": "I'm getting married in a couple weeks. It's going to be small, only 12 guests, so we're having dinner at a 5 star restaurant rather than having the event catered. I met with the restaurant manager a couple of months ago and explained that I was lactose intolerant. She assured me they could accommodate. A few days ago she emailed me the proposed menu for the 5 course meal everyone would be eating. Every item except one looks like it contains dairy.\n\n​\n\nI asked if they'd be using dairy substitutes, and she told me no, they had a \"separate menu\" planned for me. I don't want to be an asshole or a bridezilla, but I am honestly baffled and annoyed. If they have to plan a separate menu anyway, why not just make the entire thing without dairy? Is it really easier to do two separate 5 course meals?\n\n​\n\nFor some context, I am not dairy free by choice, and I was not born this way. I developed the intolerance about 4 years ago. I am a foodie and I LOVE cheese, creamy sauces, ice cream, all things dairy.  The \"actual\" menu the restaurant manager sent me looks amazingly delicious, and I don't want to be staring enviously at what everyone else is eating. If it weren't my own wedding, I'd suck it up and be grateful someone accommodated my issue. However, this is going to be an expensive dinner and it's my own freakin' wedding! My fiancé is very supportive and has given up dairy with me except for the occasional pizza. Would I be a selfish bridezilla if I asked the restaurant to serve everyone this \"separate menu,\" whatever it is?\n\n​\n\nWould I be an asshole for not letting my guests enjoy the dinner the restaurant has planned for them? Thank you for any feedback! I have not yet decided whether to make an issue out of this or just let it go.\n\n​\n\nEDIT: I agree that I WBTA if I were restricting everyone from ordering what they wanted off the restaurant's normal menu. This is going to be a pre-set 5 course dinner. Salad, App., Entree, 2 desserts. Everyone has the same thing (but could opt out of one or two if they didn't like it). It's not going to be a normal catered wedding where you have 3 or 4 options.\n\n​\n\nEDIT: Since people are asking, I don't know what the \"separate\" menu is. The restaurant manager hasn't emailed it (yet?). I think that's mainly why I'm upset. If this restaurant is as good as I've been told, the non-dairy menu should be great too, but it seems like they've focused all their energy on the \"main\" menu, so I don't know.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 170,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not changing my BF and I's entire schedule around?",
    "body": "I found out literally last night that my uncle was supposed to be getting married today around 7pm. At first I thought, \"that's a little bit late notice\" but I said fuck it because it's my uncle and worked it into my plans.\n\nToday, 2 hours ago to be exact, I get a message from my grandmother saying the time of the wedding has been changed to 5pm from 7pm. \n\nMy boyfriend has an already scheduled haircut for 5pm, I had already perfectly mapped out the amount of time it would take for the both of us to get ready and get to the ceremony, and I even coordinated with my mom for a wedding gift.\n\nLastly, after the time change, it was discovered that 3 of my family members (including my mom) wouldn't be able to make it since they only requested time off for the original wedding time.\n\nSo here's the part I'm conflicted about: AITA for not showing up to the ceremony even though I know a bunch of other people can't go?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 171,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for telling my ex I don't want to live with him anymore?",
    "body": "Yeah, kinda dumb clickbait title, but I really do want advice and a judgement on this.  So, here goes.\n\n​\n\nI'd been in a kinda long-term online relationship with this guy, to the point where we were pretty comfortable with each other, and had visited several times.  He ended up having a nervous breakdown over school stuff, and in general hating the state he lived in, so I offered to let him move in with me.  I wasn't really worried about any of this, as I'd been self-sufficient for a good year or so.  He took me up on the offer and moved in, and we renewed the lease on my place with both of us signing on it.  Things were good for a while, until a few months later when he broke up with me.  He wants to still remain friends, but a few things are getting in the way of that for me.  For one, there's only one bedroom in my apartment, so we still sleep in the same bed, and the somewhat small area we live in means I'm around him quite a lot.  It's very hard for me to get over him when I'm around him so much.  Second, he keeps going back and forth on being cuddly and affectionate, which is really giving me mixed signals.\n\n​\n\nNow, I recently got a car (I'd been using the city's public transit entirely before, but decided it was about time to bite the bullet), which is opening up my options for where I can live, and I'm starting to look at more areas around town for the next time my lease will be up, in a few months' time.  I've come to the pretty firm realization that, even though he has been helping with rent which is a nice boost to my budget, I would kind of rather live alone if I'm not going to be living with someone I'm romantically involved with.  The thing that's making this complicated for me is that he has no local friends, and relies on me entirely for his social health.  A big part of me would honestly feel bad leaving him to fend for himself since I was the one that suggested he move here in the first place.  At the same time, I feel like I'm constantly being reminded of what we used to be, and it's making me hate being in the apartment at all.\n\n​\n\nSo please Reddit, I need to know...WIBTA for telling him I'm looking for a new apartment, and that I really don't want him to move with me?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 172,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I told my best friend she needs to stop talking about her sister to me...",
    "body": "My sister was killed in an accident 13 years ago. It was awful. I she was 17 & I was 20. It tore me apart. To this day, I still grieve over losing her. Her birthday as well as holidays are a little difficult for me, but I get through them. I've found over time I've learned to cope with the loss. It is still painful. Her birthday is coming up on November 13th, so she's been on my mind a lot more lately. I'm 33 today.\n\n* My Sister: Marie\n* My Best Friend: Julie\n* My Best Friend's Sister: Rena\n\nAnyway, Julie's sister, Rena, has made it clear she is not fond of Julie. For years this has been going on. Rena seems to have a lot of personal issues and is using Julie as the scapegoat for her problems. So, on a regular basis Julie and Rena get into some pretty heated fights. Anyway, this past week Julie calls me up and tells me that Rena and her went to family counseling and that Rena didn't want to continue the family therapy that they had been attending, with their  mother.\n\nSo, Julie keeps telling me about this. We had an hour and a half discussion about it. It was very repetitive and i tried multiple times to politely end the conversation before my husband came home and I had to get off the phone. After talking to her I couldn't help but feel as though she was being whiny. At least she has a sister. I lost mine. I'd kill to have mine around even if she hated me and didn't want anything to do with me. I could always keep an eye on her from a distance. At least she'd be alive.\n\nI don't know. I think I want to tell Julie that I'm not the person she should be venting to. AITA?\n\n​\n\nEdit: Let me be really clear here, while I have these thoughts and feelings that she should be grateful to have a sister. That she's whiny and whatnot does not mean they're true. I also understand her situation. I'm not in the a good place to offer support on that topic, beyond a, \"yea that sounds super shitty.\" I would never in a million years tell my friend anything mean. That's why I asked if I should just tell her I'm not the person she should be venting to. Ya know? I also vehemently dislike her sister for the crappy shit she's been doing to Julie, but that's another story all together.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 173,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for demanding a girl who threw my drink on me pay for my drink.",
    "body": "So this happened to me this past weekend and I thought it was a perfect for this sub.\n\nSo basically I was at a bar with some friends and my girlfriend. The bar had a dance floor, but it was pretty dead and there was nobody really on it. Sitting near the dance floor at the bar was a small group of girls, one of whom was very clearly upset, had been crying, etc. It felt a little weird but they weren’t in the dance floor and so my friends and I decided to be idiots and start dancing. While we were dancing I still had a full drink so I put it down at bar, relatively near the girls but not in front of them. Next thing I knew the girl threw the entire drink all over my back. \n\nI was pretty pissed in the moment because I was so shocked, but my immediate reaction was to say “what the fuck.” As I turned around the girl who threw my drink on me was already being ushered out of the bar by a couple of friends and she was sobbing. Two other girls apologized profusely to me and told me she was going threw a divorce and had been talking all night about how guys are evil and she’s done with men. They apologized and I calmed down, but I also added that it definitely sucks she’s going through a divorce but that doesn’t really excuse her behavior. I asked them to buy me a new drink and they had some excuses but basically the answer was no. I sort of stood my ground and said that it’s the right thing to do to buy me a new drink since it was sort of an expensive drink and the girl who wasted mine had already left. The girls once again said no and one of them actually made a comment saying it was rude that I was not being understanding. \n\nThe girls left without paying for my drink and my girlfriend was on my side (she kept calling them bitches) but a couple of my girlfriends friends were saying that I need to calm down and that I’m not being understanding. I was definitely mad, but I never raised my voice. They said I was being rude to her and her friends and that I should have a heart for not considering her feelings. \n\nSo, AITA?\n\nEdit: should probably clarify; when I said my girlfriend was calling them bitches I meant later on after the fact, not to their faces. She was doing it more in a supportive way like “you’re right they were such bitches”",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 174,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for how I'm dealing with wife resisting sleep-training our baby?",
    "body": "Surprisingly this throwaway is coming in handy for more than one parenting issue we've been dealing with\n\nwe have a 4+ month old infant. he's amazing in every way. now that he's this age we've discussed sleep training him so that he's able to sleep through the night. must of my friends with kids have done it and for some it's been easy and straightforward and for others it's been difficult. but pretty much everyone I know has at least successfully sleep trained their kid to some degree. \n\nwe both discussed and agreed on an approach and I made sure to stress how there are times we're going to have to let him cry and self sooth so he learns to fall asleep on his own. I also stressed that we have to be united and consistent in our approach or the sleep training will fail. she agreed with all of the above before we started. \n\nthe first night was hard and it took roughly an hour of crying in between us soothing him at regular intervals before he finally went down for the night but he was able to sleep for 10 hrs straight. amazing, thought we were on a good trajectory. second night was better as he went down after about 30 min of crying. \n\nthird night he missed an afternoon nap and was unbelievably fussy at bedtime and it took 3 hrs of intermittent crying before he finally went down but not before the wife broke some of our pre-arranged guidelines like feeding him again, and rocking him to sleep. he woke up a couple of times that night and my wife decided to feed and rock him despite my objections\n\nthe next morning she said she couldn't bear his crying and wants to stop sleep training altogether. I said I strongly disagreed and said it's hard for me to listen to him crying too but that it's important for him and for us that he learns to fall asleep on his own. in the meantime I said if she really doesn't want to sleep train, then she's the one that will have to get up with him when he cries in the middle of the night. she called me an asshole but said fine, that's what's she'll do. \n\nso am I the asshole here?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 175,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not forgiving my dad when everyone else did?",
    "body": "Because of the 3k words limit, I can't post everything I'd like to so just believe me that my father is genuinely not a good person.  \n\n\nHere's the story that happened last summer. In the middle of August, during a weekend, we got into yet another fight. This one ended up with me trying to escape and him pulling on my hair and bringing me to the ground. The only reason he didn't hit me was because my mom got between us. Right then and there I knew I didn't want anything to do with him anymore.\n\nI was to move out of the house to another town for school two weeks later. My father works in another town during the week so he isn't home until the weekend. When my mom and I were alone that week, I told her I wasn't coming home that weekend. I literally feared for my life at this point. I went to my boyfriend's house for the weekend. (I was now to move out in a week).\n\nBy Monday, I decided to stay another day, just to be sure. I got a call from my mom saying that my dad was MAD and that I needed to come home. She came to get me and in the car ride back home told me everything he told her during my little escape. He called her stupid, a whore and all types of other names for allowing this. He talked about her dad, who died when she was four, and said he was lucky to have never met her because she's so stupid.\n\nWhen we got home, my father scremed at me and insulted my mother in front of me. He wouldn't stop insulting my relationship with my boyfriend. We'd been togheter for only a month. I learned that his entire tantrum was basically because he didn't approve my relationship. (I'm still a minor and he's 6 years older than me. The age of consent is 16 where I live and I was at least that, so nothing illegal). After I argued with him for quite a while, everything settled down and he started crying that he lost his last weekend with his babygirl. I thought it was the end of it.\n\nBoy was I wrong! That night, while I was in my room with my sister, we heard my parents screaming at each other in the kitchen. My father ended up kicking my mom out of the house, followed by my sister who always hated him. I called my boyfriend to get me, wrote my phone number on a board downstairs in case my father would want to talk. \n\nThe only time I went back that week was on Saturday, so that my mom could finish moving me and my stuff to my apartment.\n\nThe next weekend, when I went back, my mom was back with my father and everyone acted like nothing happened.\nI no longer stay in their house and everytime I'm in my hometown, I stay with my boyfriend. When I'm to their house, I act like everything is fine because I don't want to cause a scene. I don't want to have anything to do with him and he is no longer the boss of me.\n\nAm I the asshole for not forgiving my father when everyone else did?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 176,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for holding up the bus?",
    "body": "Throwaway here \n\nSo this happened about three months ago, but I only just now found out about this sub. I’m still not sure about this situation, as my friends seem to disagree on it. \n\nSo up until this incident, I (15f) was not having a good day. We were on a field trip to a museum, and I was stuck in a group with two people that I can’t stand. The day was long and boring, and I hadn’t had breakfast (this is important). At the end of the trip, the two people I didn’t like didn’t show up at the group’s assigned meeting place. \n\nThe teachers let everyone go to the buses but my group. They made us wait for these two for twenty minutes until they were finally found and our group had to walk to the bus, in front of everyone that “we” had held up. \n\nWe got on, and as I went to my seat, where I had left my lunch, I noticed that my lunch was gone. I asked everyone around me, then went up to the front of the bus, where all the teachers were, and asked if any of them had seen it. The bus driver said “okay, sit down.” Here’s how it went after that:\n\nMe: can I check the trash can?\nBus driver: just sit down. \nMe: please, it will only take a second. \nBus driver: Can’t you just check when we get back? Sit down. \nMe: No! I’m not sitting down until I find my lunch \n\nMe looking for my lunch and talking to the bus driver took about 5 minutes, holding up the bus even longer. \n\nShe didn’t say anything and just started the bus, and I had to sit down. \n\nSo, AITA here?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 177,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for wanting to vape?",
    "body": "I'm 33 and my 35 year old wife is adamant about me not vaping or just vaping with zero nicotine e-juice.\n\n​\n\nI've struggled with drugs the last 3 years and have been in and out of rehab 3 times during that time. I've been depressed and on anti-depressants before the drug use and my doctor has classified my drug use as my way of self medicating my depression and anxiety disorder.\n\n​\n\nI'm definitely an asshole for everything I've put her through the last few years and I'm thankful that she's stuck with me all this time but I've tried to talk to her and make her understand that vaping helps with the cravings. Am I a bigger asshole for even asking her to allow me to vape?\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​\n\n​",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 178,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not being okay with my boyfriend being alone in a house with two girls?",
    "body": "So, my boyfriend and I have been together for a few years now. His parents are going to be out of the country for a month and I was looking forward to spending time with him alone at his place, until he revealed to me that a family friend and her best friend will be staying at the house for a week during spring break. I looked up their facebooks and they're both young and attractive.\n\nI told my boyfriend I didn't like the idea of two girls just hanging out at the house with him, but he assured me they'd only really be there to sleep. Still, I told him outright I really wouldn't like them coming over, and he said he'd talk to his mom, who eventually replied that it was her house so if she wanted a family friend over, she can. I understand that much, but my boyfriend isn't willing to budge or let me stay over while the girls are there.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 179,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not paying my friend back for my dogs vet bills?",
    "body": "My friend(26f) has 2 kids a 9 and a 5 year old and they want a dog. I happened to be going on vacation for a week and I was gonna put my dog in a kennel for it. Well my friend asked if she could keep the dog instead of me putting it in the kennel so she can see if her kids would be able to handle the responsibility of the dog. I knew she was hoping this would stop the kids from asking for a dog so I agreed. \n\nWell the day before I came back my dog kept throwing up blood all over the place and I told them to just take her to the vet and they agreed to pay the bill and then I’d pay them back. Well when I got back I found out the dog had gotten into some rat poison and I was pissed. I never would’ve let them watch my dog if I knew they had a mouse problem and I refused to pay the vet bill and now me and the friend aren’t speaking at all. AITA for not paying the bill?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 180,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for telling my roommates to be quiet?",
    "body": "I’ve had a stressful sleep deprived week and I wanted to get to sleep early (around 11 to 12) Friday night and catch up on sleep. Two of my roommates last night were drinking and laughing in the kitchen area and my room, which is close to the kitchen, and the apartment in general has really thin walls and I could hear everything. Not just the inaudible sound of people talking but like I could hear their conversations and what they said clearly. Earbuds only help muffle a little bit. I tried to ignore it but around midnight I was fed up and texted them in our group chat if they could be quieter. \n\nThen they were quiet and I drifted off until I woke up again to the sound of laughter at 2:30 am. This time I was really annoyed so I sent some snippy texts that were “can u guys at least whisper, it’s 2am”\n\nI felt really bad at being snippy and this morning made me feel worse when one roommate confronted me and asked “how I was doing.” I was honest and said Im still stressed, I didn’t sleep well last night. \n\nThen my roommate said “Yeah i understand well my room is really close to the kitchen too (hers is next to mine) but i don’t really say anything” which made me feel bad like I should’ve tried harder to suck it up or something. Like I guess it’s true that I’m sure everyone has had to deal with stuff like this at some point but they don’t really complain, it’s mostly just me. Then she said “I was really stressed last week too, last night was like my way of stress relief.” Which also made me feel like an asshole for getting in the way of that and making her feel guilty, but I also feel like sleep is a necessity and there are other ways to relieve stress besides drinking. \n\nIDK. She apologized but it was just like “sorry, but I can’t promise not to do it again because it’ll probably happen again but we can try.” which to me felt like a really half assed apology and really only said so after I said I slept really poorly. I mean I probably apologized more for being annoying bc I felt guilty. \n\nI really have no idea if I’m TA here for complaining. Like it was a Friday night so it’s not like I had to wake up too early but at the same time I’m sitting here with a headache because I wasn’t able to sleep well (I can’t really sleep in because another roommate is usually up or back early around 8-9am and her movements in the kitchen wake me up). But at the same time I guess it’s mostly a me problem since I’m always the one complaining. IDK. I haven’t really been able to afford a white noise machine but maybe I should start to save up and invest in one. I just wish they were more considerate.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 181,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for re-homing my cat?",
    "body": "When I was 21, I broke up with my boyfriend and moved into my first apartment on my own. A friend of mine had four cats and a dog and was desperately attempting to re-home two of her five year old cats due to her impending relocation. I offered to take them because it was lonely in my place by myself, I wanted a cat, plus I already knew hers. She had two rules: 1. Never declaw and 2. If I have to re-home, they come back to her. I adopted them and kept one for 9 years (he wound up passing away from kidney failure after a lifetime struggle with struvite crystals) and the other for 11 years. I moved apartments 8+ times with the cats, including taking them with me from West to East coast. When I was relocating back to the West coast, I would be crashing on a friend's couch who had two indoor/outdoor cats and mine had been indoor only for 16 years at that point (she was also very tiny when born and weighed about 7 lbs, failing eyesight  and possible hearing loss - it would've been bad to start letting her go outside at that point but I wouldn't have had control). I chose to rehome her back with my friend, driving to Kansas to drop her off before continuing to CA alone. She passed away less than two years later. \n\n​\n\nIt's been five years since I had a pet, three of them I've been set up comfortably in my own apartment. I've declined mostly because I felt guilty about rehoming my pet instead of keeping her and have been pretty open about that. Over the weekend, I sat with a friend's foster kitten sleeping on me for a little over an hour. I'm down to take this cat and I told her so. She's been a bit elusive, so I met her for lunch today to see if I could figure out why. She told me I'm not a good candidate because I've already given away a cat, so I should exclusively foster only instead of looking to adopt. AITA for rehoming my cat? I feel like I'm kind of disqualified for life when it comes to pets after our lunch.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 182,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for getting mad at my friend for touching the scones?",
    "body": "Yesterday I got a bag of free pastries and scones from a local bakery (they're really nice and sometimes will give away the left over food from the day). I came home and my roommate and her boyfriend were hanging out in the living room. I offered them some pastries and my roommates boyfriend started to rummage around the bag. He started to pick up, hold and look at all of the scones inside to see what type of flavor they are. I got mad at him because he proceeded to touch all of the scones and I personally think that's super unsanitary. I told him to stop doing that, then he got annoyed at me. He thinks that it's not a big deal, and he was just checking to see what type of scones are in the bag. Am I the asshole for telling him to stop/ thinking that's rude. For context: there were around 8 scones in a brown paper bag, all of the scones were unwrapped. Also I've known my roommates boyfriend for around 3 years, and we usually get along.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 183,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for asking my tutoree not to eat during lessons?",
    "body": "I'm tutoring this kid, let's call him Q. He usually gets hungry after school and has a snack, which is exactly when I come over to tutor him. He eats during the tutoring lessons, and when he doesn't eat he makes comments about how hungry he is. However, it distracts him from learning. WIBTA for asking him not to eat during lessons?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 184,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for trying to be responsible with my time",
    "body": "So here goes this story,\n\nAt 8:00 I got a call from my friends inviting me out to see a movie. First friend we'll name \"Ned\" said, \"Hey me and \"Will\" wanna see a movie you down?\" And I said,  \"Sure what time?\" Ned said hell get back to me with the time. A hour passes and no response. 9:20 I get a call from Ned, \"hey where are you?, I texted you 20 mins ago and you said nothing. \"To my own surprise I did miss a text from him from 8:20 saying where to meet. So I race over to his house where Ned and Will are waiting  for me.Ned drove us to go out to eat before hand and then I realized I didn't have my phone, I had left my phone in my car.We eat then leave for the movie.After 30-40 mins of trailers I realize this movie is over 3 hours long. I look at Will and say hey im not trying to stay out til 2 am I need to go home. Will tell me that i can get a refund, I look over to Ned and ask \"hey I need to go, im not trying to stay out long.\" He ask me \"why do you have a curfew?\"I respond \"no but I have to be at work at 6:00, and I know ill over sleep.\"Ned looks up the run time of the movie and and continues to look at the movie without responding to me. After about 30 seconds Ned leans over a says \" if you can get a refund then, we can go\" so I leave get my refund but now I cant go back in. So I wait, I wait about what feels like 10 mins and I think, fuck this ill get and Uber. I walk to the nearest gas station and get to use some ones phone to use Uber. After I get to my car Ned and Will are waiting for me, Asking where the fuck I was, where did I got how did I get here. Ned is mad cause he wasted gas looking for me, Will is mad cause Ned is mad.\n\nEdit: Added names to initials. \n\nAITA?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 185,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for making my younger cousin do some work he might not be comfortable with",
    "body": "My younger cousin came to stay with me for summer since it’s close to where he works. He’s pretty young and fending for himself/has to pay his own tuition so I told him he can stay for free and save his money for school. I’m a 29F he’s a 19M\n\nAfter a few weeks I asked him if there was anything he could do in the house to help since he eats a lot and uses a lot of water but doesn’t pay anything, so we both agreed on him taking out the trash, which isn’t a lot, but is something.\n\nSo a few days ago he forgets to take out the trash. I ask him why and he tells me because we ran out of rubber gloves. I get mad because I needed those rubber gloves at random times and didn’t have the time to get new ones, plus he doesn’t need them to take the trash out. I told him to make it up to me he has to clean the bathroom we all use but I clean myself. He starts acting weird and tells me he’s a germophobe and can’t touch germs and all, but I see it as an excuse and make him do it anyway.\n\nSo his dad calls me later and tells me he is actually a germophobe and it’s usually traumatizing for him to do things without gloves. I didn’t know this and just felt he was being extra. AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 186,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA This guy I was making out with at a bar totally ignored me after I said I was dating someone",
    "body": "Sooo I’m in an open relationship. I went to a gay bar tonight for the first time in a long time. I met this guy. We talked. A lot. We made out. A lot. I talked to his friends. We made merry. About two hours in I happened to mention I was dating someone. I didn’t even get a chance to say it was an open relationship. He walked away from me like he never met me. He literally blanked me after making out with me heavily for two hours. He left me sitting there at the bar. His friends were like “nice to have met you” and I walked out. This just Happened. Mind you he never asked me if I was seeing someone during the entire time we were making out.  Am I the asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 187,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for only walking the dog twice a day?",
    "body": "So here’s the thing. We are babysitting my girlfriends sisters dog for some days. This dog is 6 years old and we live 3 floors up with no elevators. This dog has been operated several times for arthritis. This has cost them well over 10 thousand dollars. I’m shit scared walking this dog all these stairs several times a day up and down. \n\nAnd all this dog do is sleep. Seriously he’s been beside me all day snoring. My girlfriend went to work this morning, I went up and walked the dog. Then the dog has been sleeping. About 1 ish the dog signaled he needed to go out so we went. The. Back to sleep. Then my girlfriend calls, we talk some and she asked how many times I’ve been out with the dog and I say 2 times and she freaks out. Saying I can’t be dog owner, I don’t trust you etc. notice, we are getting a dog next week. She says she’s disappointed. She don’t want to talk anymore and hangs up.\n\nI just feel like I’m shit scared walking this dog. What if something happens? And I’m responsible that they have to put it down. It’s not like the dog has been suffering all day, he has been sleeping and I’m not a asshole. I’ve had dogs my entire childhood, I know how to take care of a dog. My girlfriend thinks otherwise and started saying maybe we shouldn’t get a dog because I don’t trust you. \n\nAITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 188,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for confronting a friend?",
    "body": "Genuinely need advice here. I have this friend (let’s call her W) who is *very* attention seeking. She self diagnosed herself a lot and will constantly use said self diagnosed disorders as excuses for not doing work, doing weird things and being lazy. As someone who suffers from mental illness it’s kinda annoying. She is also claiming to be LGBT and *clearly* isn’t, yet she brags about her identity and constantly sends me a meme about it and will list off why she relates to it. My school has anti gay policies and she has literally almost outed me multiple times because of her hello fellow gay how do you do attitude. She constantly complains about everything to me specifically and is very over dramatic about it. She’s clingy too. Im basically used as her therapist and though Im always here for her it’s stressful. She also sends mildly sexist  (towards men)memes to a group chat we’re in, and when I point it out she’ll be like “oh sorry” but will send another one right after. Like just send it in a chat without guys smh.That being said she is still my friend and I genuinely care for her and have concerns about her health, but I feel like i need to confront her about self diagnosing and being so flamboyant about her identity and outing me on multiple occasions.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 189,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for getting an interview at the same place my friend got an offer from?",
    "body": "So I currently work, but I've been searching for another job since October due to job dissatisfaction, only getting part time hours when I'm considered full time, and looking for better pay.  It's a tough market.  Anyway, I digress.  My friend interviewed at this place and \\*has an offer\\* from them.  I asked her if she had an e-mail or knew who I could contact, and she provided that information.  So I e-mailed them and got a call a couple of days later to schedule an interview.\n\nShe asked if I told this person that I got his e-mail from her.  I didn't.  He said it was his personal e-mail and he wasn't sure how I got it, \\*but\\* he didn't ask AND I didn't tell.  He just proceeded to tell me about the position, and how they are hiring for all positions (FT/PT/PRN) at the moment.  He told my friend (when she interviewed over a week ago) that they weren't hiring anyone else.  Well, my friend spoke to this contact person today because apparently, she has not yet given them their decision on whether or not she accepts.  She is still waiting to hear back from another place that is basically her dream job, and asked if she could have until Monday or Tuesday.  Well, I guess this person sounded a little irritated and wants her decision by today.  Personally, I don't think this has anything to do with me, because she \\*has an offer\\*, and I don't.  I still need to interview.  \n\nShe said I should have waited, blah blah blah, I thought you were my friend, and didn't think I would have e-mailed them so quickly.  But see...she could have told me to wait, or not give me the e-mail at all, and I would have respected that!  I also saw this position on Indeed some time ago, but when I found out she applied and was in the process of scheduling an interview, I held off, out of respect to her as a friend because I knew she was desperately looking for a job and I have one.  I told her I would wait to contact them until after she got an offer.  Well, she got an offer, so I thought it was okay for me to go ahead and proceed.\n\nIt's not like I'm stealing this position away from her.  She already has the damn offer, and they need her decision.  I have no offer, just an interview scheduled in about a week.  Am I the asshole in this situation?\n\n*Update*\nFrom her:\n\n“On Thursday night, I told him that I would let him know by Sunday and I let him know this morning via text and he hasn’t responded. My theory is that he wanted me to accept the offer right away but I didn’t, so he got frustrated and he received an email from you and decided to go for you because you have better experience than me. Really, you have better resume than mine. You have the EXPERIENCE!  My point is you know you are better off than me as far as job marketing goes and you came in in the middle of my job offer and made him change his decision. That’s my theory. I am pretty sick at myself and what I am telling you because it’s just so something I would hate to do. I am trying to overcome this incidence which will take a while but I know eventually I will get over it and maybe laugh at it later. I wish you the best for your future.”\n\nAnd a theory is just that - a theory.  I still don’t think I’m TA in this situation.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 190,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA because my mother left her estate to charity and not her child/grandchild?",
    "body": "My mother for the last two years of her life, was very sick. She could afford nurses for her palliative care but was adamant nothing be done. Because I don't want my mother's last couple of years be in misery, I decided to leave my career as a HS teacher to care for her. I'd spend all my days there with her, nights at home. Sometimes my husband and daughter would come for the day, too, but I'd say about 85% of my time awake since early 2017 to two months ago was with my mother at her home. When she passed, I was the one who found her.\n\nShe left almost all of her entire estate, including her house, to a charity that focuses on her specific illness. She named a third party as executor to handle selling her house so I'm not involved. I basically spoke to the lawyer in one meeting and was told they'll handle it from there. Her funeral was paid out of her estate. It wasn't a life changing amount of money, only about $40,000 plus the bungalow she lived in.\n\nIt upsets me because she left nothing to me. Nothing to her granddaughter. Ultimately it was her choice and it should be honored, but this isn't how estates are usually passed down. Sure, I got just enough to not contest the will according to the lawyer, but the brunt of it went to a charity I wasn't even super familiar with. Keep in mind I took care of her, every day, for two years.\n\nIt's not like we're destitute ourselves. I could only do it because my husband could carry the family. It doubly stings because there's waitlists for local HS teachers. Leaving my career is one thing, rejoining it is monumentally tougher, even with experience.\n\nI just feel like an asshole that it's affecting me so much. My mother loved me, my daughter, my husband. Why would she give pretty much nothing when she passed? I never did what I did out of expectation, although I would have assumed I'd get everything as that's how things usually happen, you know?\n\nAm I being an asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 191,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not picking up garbage I walk past on the sidewalk?",
    "body": "I think about this a lot. I never litter myself and I will hold onto my trash/recyclables until there is somewhere I can appropriately dispose of them, but I wonder if choosing to ignore garbage I walk past on the ground makes me an asshole. Am I any more obligated to pick it up than everyone who walked by it before me? By acknowledging that I might be, does it cement me as an asshole by ignoring it anyway? Is everyone who ignores the garbage an asshole, or is nobody? Curious on this sub's take on the matter.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 192,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I don’t get on the plane to visit my parents, with tickets they purchased?",
    "body": "I do not have good relationship with my parents. Growing up the were emotionally abusive (my father more constant screaming in my face, and my mother more emotionally manipulating). I was essentially the crutch/punching bag for my parents growing up.\n\nCurrently I live with my SO of 5 years. My mother has been after me non-stop to visit them again since the last time (July 2018). I have been making excuses that are for the most part true. I recently gotten a new job and I have been putting time into that, and don’t really have the money to spend on tickets OR take off of work. \n\nAfter months of asking, she texts me in June asking if we would fly out to surprise my dad for his bday Friday, if she would purchase our tickets. I didn’t want to agree, but she made sure to use my fathers heart condition against me and I felt backed into a corner. I agreed reluctantly.  \n\nUp until last week, there was ZERO talk about tickets. I’ll admit I was hoping that it would fall through, but from persistence from my bf I asked my mom what the status was with the tickets. I immediately receive a confirmation code for 2 arrival tickets. I am then given a confusing story of an original round trip being purchased through 1 airline, only for her to realize she had points through another airline with an earlier time she preferred - so she then purchases the arrival flight I received - and says she is going to contact the original airline to see if she can drop the arriving flight and keep the departing flight. \n\nOver this past weekend I ask again where the return flight is and the story keeps changing or there’s some excuse. “Oh I left my charger at home for my laptop I can’t email you the code” or “I bought it through my work email and I can’t access that from home”. Today I asked her to please email the information so my bf and I can make arrangements for travel as well as make sure we are home in time, as we both work the next day. She finally texts me today saying that the new return flight won’t be purchased until *the night before we leave*. \n\nAt this point my bf and I are getting extremely nervous about this trip. I am having horrible anxiety about being there in general, on top of the flight issues. My parents can be very shady. One of many examples being, when I was still living with my parents, I flew back to the state I live in now to visit my bf. While I was away, my parents sold my car that I paid for entirely myself and kept the money. (It was a long line of made up/constantly changing stories and lies until eventually I never saw a dime from it. Very similar to what’s happening now). \n\nMy bf and I have a theory there was no original round trip purchased. My bf is also saying that if the return flight isn’t purchased before we leave, that we should not get on the flight. \n\nWould I be an asshole if I don’t get on the plane?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 193,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA By Sexting with a woman I just met on OKC?",
    "body": "Yesterday I met a nice woman on OKCupid, and things were going well.  We were getting to know one another, finding out what our common interest were.  We both like the mountains, watching horror movies and we both have our own struggles with depression.  She said she wanted to start out as friends and I thought \"cool, someone to hang out with and get to know.\"\n\n​\n\nWe traded cell phone # and  took our conversation off of OKC and into texting.  I show her pictures of my two dogs and one cat, we talked a little bit more.  She wanted a full body picture of me, so I sent her a fully clothed full body picture of myself.  I'm still operating off the fact that we're just friends. \n\n​\n\n This is where things get muddy for me.  She asked if I wanted a full body naked picture of her and I told her that was up to her, whatever she was comfortable with.  So she sent me a naked picture of herself from behind and I did compliment her on her ass.  I assume at this point we were going into sexting mode.  (Yes, I know what they say happens when you assume) So we sexted for a bit and then she just stopped texting me.  \n\n​\n\nThis was last night and I haven't gotten a text from her since and I'm not really the one to just repeatedly text someone until I get a response.  If she doesn't want to talk anymore, that's fine.  I'm just wondering if I'm the asshole for going from \"let's be friends\" to \"Hey nice ass,\" and sexting for a bit.  ",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 194,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For lying about having feelings for a woman as an out in a terrible friendship.",
    "body": "Long story short found myself in a friendship with a woman who kept heaping expectations and roles on me that I didn't want to play I expressed as much several times to which she would respond \"your my best friend, and the most consistent person in my life\". After admitting to myself that I stayed in the friendship out of guilt I waited til she got a new boyfriend and lied and told her I had feelings for her and I needed to step away from the friendship so that I could exit the friendship without coming across as accusatory or asking her to change. Am I an asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 195,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for suddenly ghosting my crush after talking to her almost everyday?",
    "body": "Some background stuff. She's technically my ex since we got into a MU (mutual understanding) relationship but that really didn't last long but my friend said MU relationships don't really count so yeah she's technically my ex but not really.\n\nAnyways, after \"breaking up\" I still had a crush on her, and while I had a crush on her she had a crush on another guy, whom I don't exactly trust but according to her he's nice so I'll take her word for it. After a few weeks (or months I'm not really sure) her crush confessed on having feelings for her, so of course she did the same. After that, they were in a MU relationship. Now, before she had a crush on this guy, she and I would talk almost everyday. From morning, take a break since we have school (we attend different schools) and then talk in the afternoons. But after she and the guy confessed, we just suddenly stopped talking. She would try to make small talk here and there but everything just felt *dead* and it didn't have the same energy as before. During the times she would try making small talk with me, she would ask me help for captions for pictures. She wouldn't show them, she would just describe them and such. This happened two times, and in those two times she was just actually asking a caption for her MU to use, but I didn't know about it until the second time since her crush's brother and I are friends on Facebook and I saw his story with a picture that was exactly like the one she described. After that, I didn't feel like we were friends anymore. It felt like I was just there to boost herself in her relationship with her crush and that was the only reason she would chat me. Also I don't know if this is important but, I just don't feel that happy anymore every time I see her name, or when I chat with her. I would lose most of my energy and become bad vibes or not all that happy for the rest of the conversation and/or day. \n\ntl;dr - my crush and her crush confessed to each other, they are now MU. she would ask me to create captions not knowing it was for her MU.\n\nSo, AITA here? Am I just overreacting about the whole situation or no?\n\nEdit 1 - Just to clear things up, MU is basically two people liking each other, but they don't have an official title. In other words, being in love but with no official label.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 196,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for wanting my fiancé to return the engagement ring he bought me?",
    "body": "My boyfriend (24M) and I (23F) have been together for 5 years and he recently proposed. I'd normally be thrilled of this-- until I learned that he spent ALL of his savings on the ring. He just recently graduated with his Master's degree in Art History and is in around \\~$45,000 worth of debt that he must start repaying in 6 months. The ring cost $5,000 and after the purchase, he now has $50 to his name.\n\n​\n\nAlthough I am truly grateful, I can't help but feel that he's being very financially irresponsible, especially given that he is currently unemployed with zero income. Furthermore, since proposal comes with, of course, the prospect of marriage, I can't help but be concerned that after we are married, all of his debts and poor financial decisions will be transferred onto me. This worries me greatly because he has always been bad with money as well.\n\n​\n\nI've tried multiple times to convince him to return the ring, or at least get something less expensive, but all he does is become extremely defensive and accuse me of \"not really wanting to marry him\" when that is 100% not the case. I've tried educating him on the dangers of accumulating interest on debt, and he also just dismisses it and says that he'll get a job and pay it off \"later\" when he doesn't have a job even lined up.\n\n​\n\nI just can't help but feel conflicted between being grateful and worried that his poor handling of money will get us both in trouble down the line as a married couple. Any input on whether I'm being an asshole for wanting him to return the engagement ring would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 197,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for expecting my girlfriend to watch my dog?",
    "body": "Before you get all furious on your keyboard telling me I'm shitty for expecting someone to watch my dog hear me out... \n\nSo I am traveling for work and have been for the last two months (Ill get back home in a few days). I work as a freelancer and a great gig came up I absolutely couldn't pass up, a true once in a life time deal. Before I accepted I obviously had to find someone to watch my dog que in my Roomate. He agrees so I accept the gig, the reason I didn't ask my girlfriend to watch him is because we are in university and she went home for the summer to be with her parents so it wasn't an option. \n\nIve since been away from home and my beautiful boy for near two months now and my girlfriend and I are arguing, My roommate has been watching my dog and been doing a very mediocre job at it, he's lost my dog over three times and has left him alone at the home for extended periods of time, my dog suffers from separation anxiety and it really freaks him out if he's alone for more than a few hours. I've been living with my roommate for almost two years now so he definitely knew of the responsibilities beforehand. \n\nnow that all the backgrounds out of the way... since I was away for 7 weeks my roommate was fine with watching him the entire time but it turned out my girlfriend went back from home early and has been for nearly 4 weeks. I asked her when she told me she was going back if she would be uncharge of the dog since its kinda like ours, we've been dating for over a year now. She agreed but I've recently found out from my roommate that she hasn't really been doing anything to take care of him, besides taking him at random hours of the night to sleep with him and returning him right when she wakes up. I called her out today and said I was very disappointed because I expected her to take more initiative with my dog since we've been talking about the next steps in our relationship and moving in together I figured that she should care for my dog as much as I do. \n\n​\n\nTLDR: had someone watch my dog for 2 months, girlfriend hasn't been helping much at all.",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 198,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I told my mom I didn’t want her to walk me down the aisle?",
    "body": "  \n\nMy mom married my stepdad when I was very young, so he’s been the only father I’ve ever known. Over the years as I was growing, Ioften thought of how nice it will be to be able to have stepdad walk me down the aisle – it’s such a tradition of fatherhood, and I want to show him he will always be my dad, even though we aren’t blood related.\n\nMom and stepdad were married for almost 20 years, most of them rough. They divorced almost ten years ago, and while my stepdad is happily remarried, my mother is still single (and not happy about it). \n\nMy mom and I are very close, but we’ve had a pretty rocky relationship over the years. She’s very generously offered to help pay for the wedding, and she recently asked me if I would consider letting her walk me down the aisle along with my stepdad. I told her I would consider it, which I am doing, but I’m feeling conflicted – mostly because she feels very competitive with my stepdad, and I’m concerned that this is a factor here.\n\nNow that she has asked the question, I feel obligated to say yes, even though I don’t feel totally comfortable with it. \n\nHelp! WIBTA if I say no to her?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 199,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for putting in a bad word at work for an ex girlfriend?",
    "body": "Title is pretty self explanatory. I have a job that's somewhat desirable. We go through bodies like candy because management doesn't want to hire pot smokers. Sounds really fucking dumb to me but I don't get paid to think.\n\nEx messaged me on facebook asking to throw her a bone. So I told my manager she can't really be trusted. \n\nShe cheated on me when we were about 18 and I broke it off. For what it's worth, I genuinely don't trust her enough to have her work here, if it were my choice. I might have acted a bit out of spite but if I had been asked I wouldn't be able to recommend her for fear of my reputation getting ruined when she pulls some bullshit.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 200,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not telling my best friend about my breakup yet?",
    "body": "Hey y'all\n\nMy boyfriend of almost 5 years and I broke up last night. We've been a big part of eachothers lives, and thus social circles, over that time. But last night we broke up.\n\nMy best friend's boyfriend is currently visiting her from the opposite coast, and after he leaves today she's going to call me to tell me all about the fun they've had this past week. \n\nSo, AITA for not telling her last night, and not telling her until she has told me the good stuff she has to say before I kill the mood majorly? \n\nThanks\n\nEdit: should add it's a long distance friendship because I'm away at college",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 201,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for sabotaging my school graduation photo?",
    "body": "This happened a long time ago but it's been on my mind ever since.\n\nWhen I was in school, I was viciously bullied, excluded and harrassed by my classmates. Classmates regularly terrorized me, followed me home after school and berated me at school. They were some of the worst years of my life. \n\nI never felt like I was a real part of my class and felt absolutely no connection to any of them. So when I finally graduated, the people in our class wanted to have us all to wear a uniform school T-shirt that had some peppy phrase on it that was supposed to represent how much we enjoyed our time at the school. \n\nEveryone got one for the day of the shoot. Everyone except me. And despite everyone's protest, I didn't budge and to this day, our photo hangs in that school with everyone but me wearing the school T-shirt. Was that too petty and am I the Asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 202,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not telling my boss her husband propositioned me?",
    "body": "Several years ago (2011) I was at a bar and ran into a guy I'd gone to high school with. We chatted for a few minutes, no big deal. \n\nLater he added me on Facebook and messaged me saying that I'd looked really hot at the bar (I'm painfully average but drunk men aren't picky) and then proceeded to ask me to meet up with him and sleep with him. I told him I was married and he backed off.\n\nLooked at his profile, and he was married too. Creeper. Awww man. Since he left me alone after I said no, I let it go.\n\nA couple years later (2014) he messaged me again on Facebook, asking if we could hang out and catch up. I told him I wasn't into it. He was pretty insistent and then switched gears to talking about being dissatisfied at home, and again blatantly asked me to fuck him. I told him to focus on his family and ignored him.\n\nI had never met his wife when any of this was happening.\n\nFast forward to about a year ago and I'm interviewing for a job and the hiring manager is this guy's wife. Didn't even realize it until she said \"oh, you graduated from [school] in [year], you must know my husband.\" I honestly considered just not pursuing the job at that point but it's a good job, I knew I'd be good at it, she and I hit it off really well, and I hadn't heard anything from her husband in years.\n\nI guess she mentioned it to him because he messaged me again and said \"my wife said you applied, I told her how smart you were in school and I hope she hires you!\" I said thanks. Left it at that, nothing inappropriate. After I was hired he messaged me again to say congrats and I said thanks. \n\nOccasionally he will stop by work to see her and we say hey to each other but he's not weird about it and has made no inappropriate contact with me since 2014. \n\nAfter working closely together for a year I consider my boss to be a good friend and what he did has shifted in my head from \"everyday creep\" to \"tried to betray someone important to me.\" If he made a pass at me now, or I knew he was cheating or trying to, I'd tell her in a heartbeat. But since this was so long ago (and nothing ever happened) I still haven't told her.\n\nI have no reason to believe telling her would affect my employment. It might make work awkward but I don't think she would be angry with me. I do feel like bringing it up now could potentially hurt her and their family. \n\nKnowing the ages of their kids and if I'm doing my math right, she would have been home with newborns during the times that he was trying to get laid and that just really makes me mad.\n\nShe speaks of him very fondly, seems very happy with her marriage, and has never indicated that she worries about him being interested in anyone else. For all I know he's never approached another woman like that, or it's something they've addressed and worked through. I feel like it would be insensitive and cruel to bring up something from years ago when she seems happy now.\n\nSo I'm keeping my mouth shut, but I'm wondering: AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 203,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for having beef with my mom because she charges me rent?",
    "body": "A few years ago my mom began charging me rent, at the time I just started a new job that was pretty simple and which would give me time to pursue something I really value, film \n\nI would pay her and not be left with barely any money to hang out with my friends or buy myself groceries. I asked if I could split her payments up and she got mad and said I am messing her whole thing up. And anytime I asked thereafter she would say similiar things or act standoffish to me in person. I hadnt bought myself a treat like you know a new hamper or pair of nice pants or something in a year! Because I didnt want to have any drama with her and her money.\n\nI notice that I would pay her rent and she'd come home with a new hairstyle or accessory for herself and realized that Im not just contributing to house things, Im funding her lifestyle. And she also in addition to charging me rent asks me to buy her treats like expensive hair and beauty products and when I say no she feels slighted. And she numerous times tried to force me to get a full time job so that I can pay her more. Its really not right. I told her that Im working on videos and hace made a few accomplishments with it thus far but she really doesnt believe in it or me.\n\nLong story short, I began to request some ground rules about the rent and told her that I didnt think it was fair that I was funding her lifestyle and have no money for myself to save up and have basic things for myself and she basically made me feel like a bad person and bad son.\n\nI am staying out of her way but I don't think that what Ive said to her or feel is wrong, aita?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 204,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for publicly calling out a friend for giving out my cell number?",
    "body": "This morning I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognise. It turned out to be a gym that a friend of mine (Jane) had just signed up to and they wanted to know if would be interested in joining. I was not. I privately messaged Jane to ask if she had given out my number to the gym and she said yes, that she's sorry, but that she got a discount for referring 10 friends when she signed up. I told her to never give out my phone number again unless she had my permission. She didn't reply.\n\nThis evening Jane posted a selfie on Instagram with the caption \"The gym said they'd give me a discount if I recommend then 10 people so I gave them the numbers of Tinder fuckbois in my phone #sorrynotsorry\"\n\nI am a girl that used to work with Jane. I am not a 'fuckboi'. The fact that she posted that means she knows that giving the gym those numbers would be opening those people up to being harassed by the gym. \n\nWIBTA for commenting and calling her out on her bullshit on Instagram?\n",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 205,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for standing up to my mother and saying that I *can* be independent?",
    "body": "Hey everyone,\nWhat’s happened is that next week, I need to visit an embassy in London to get a visa for my holiday with my father. My parents have been divorced since I was 2 weeks old, and my mother has custody. I’m 16 now, male, and have Asperger’s Syndrome - notwithstanding this, I am very independent and am able to do many things unaided. \n\nMy situation is that my father works in the South, as he lives in Wales - and it would be a logistical nightmare for him to travel up to Birmingham where I live, then back down to London - and it’d cost a lot also. My mom and dad have been speaking about this (of course, my mom not once asking me for my input). She told my dad that I was uncomfortable getting the train into and out of London (I didn’t say that once - the opposite in fact). I understand and acknowledge that London’s a big city, and that there’s crime there - which is why I agreed to meeting my father at Euston. However, that’s all I said. Not once did I say that I was uncomfortable getting on the train. Don’t get me wrong - I love my mom to bits - she’s really an amazing mom - but I sometimes wish I could be more independent without her taking an almost helicopter parent approach. Am I the asshole for wanting to be more independent?\n\nTL;DR Mom’s shoving words into my mouth so that she can have her over-protective way.\n\nI’m sorry if this post is a bit sloppy, but I had to get it all off my chest. I really want to be more independent - but my mom seems to never want that for me.\n\nUPDATE: For the past 5 minutes, my mother’s been giving me a lecture demonising my father. Probably trying to influence my decision, I don’t know.\n\nUPDATE 2: I've calmed down a bit now, and will reply to everybody's comments. Thanks for your advice and candour everybody, I very much appreciate it.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 206,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not defending a transwoman after she was repeatedly attacked by our group president?",
    "body": "Throwaway acct.\n\nYesterday at work 4 of us were having a conversation about Diversity & Inclusion projects. The group :Me, a coworker, Executive Director (Sharon)and our group President (Steve). Sharon & Steve are both in elected positions, and hold a lot of power in our organisation. Steve is basically my boss’s boss.\n\nSharon was saying how she regretted that she did not invite any trans people to an LGBTQ+ event she hosted. One of our members, Samantha, is a transwoman and she does great work. I love Samantha- she’s kind & funny and is a powerful spokesperson. \n\nI suggested that we connect with her and Sharon immediately agreed. Then Steve jumped in and said: “Oh is that the guy that sits in the back corner?” \n\nThat’s where Samantha sits so I knew he was referring to her. \n\n“She, yes, Samantha is her name- SHE is great, very knowledgeable—-“ But Steve cut me off:\n“ He’s probably got a good perspective.”\n“She,” both Sharon and I corrected again.\n“Oh well I don’t know how to address these things” Steve said. “How do I know if he’s a man or a woman or whatever?”\n“She,” I interrupted for a third time. “She’s a woman- her name is Samantha. That’s what I’m saying.”\nBut Steve wasn’t really listening because he just sort of talked over me: “Okay, okay I’ll just say ‘THEY.’ that way I don’t make a mistake. I mean how can I know these things? I mean- he looks like a guy to me.”\n\nI was flabbergasted. I’m not sure how the conversation ended but none of us called Steve out on being so shitty. And I felt terribly afterward. \n\nJust to be clear Samantha is noticeably a transwoman. She dresses impeccably in feminine clothing (you know what I mean pls don’t word police me!) her makeup is always on point- she is presenting herself to the world as a woman. So I just don’t believe that Steve was genuinely confused about her gender. If he was, he could have corrected himself the first time - instead of continuing on that awful& disrespectful diatribe,  flinging his hands up in the air in this cartoonish motion of confusion.\n\nIt’s especially poignant because we were talking about Samantha in the context of being inclusive so I’m now concerned about Steve’s commitment to our stated values.\n\nI feel ashamed for not saying more yesterday. But I’m not sure what I can do now. I haven’t worked here for long so we’re not yet very close.Many staff talk about his fragile ego and at the end of the day- he is the president. Am I making excuses? I Should have said something in the moment about the power of language &the impact of mis-gendering. I’m considering asking my boss or Sharon to speak with him. But I know that he’ll be offended and will take it out on me. Is that the right thing to do regardless? Am I the asshole for not sticking up for Sam?\n\nTldr: president kept mis-gendering transwoman even after corrected many times. I did not stand up for her or call him out. Am I part of the problem?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 207,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for choosing my sobriety over my ex",
    "body": "I'm going to summarize this as short as possible because I hate typing out long stories. I broke up with my girlfriend a few days before her grandmother died. I am now being dragged through Facebook because she narrated the story as me breaking up with her after her grandmother died. I was there for her the day and the day after but still wanted the relationship to end regardless of what she had going for her. I broke up with her because I relapsed with her. I was abstinent from any substance before we started dating. Now I'm not going to blame her for my choice of using, but it didn't help that she constantly had drugs around me which due to my better judgement I chose to do. AITA in this situation?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 208,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for being annoyed with my friends concern ?",
    "body": "my dad has been verbally and occasionally physically abusive for as long as i can remember, he is a huge narcissist & believes he isn’t doing anything wrong. in 6 months i’m finally moving out with my mom & little brother, but for now i have to live with him until that happens. my friend who we’re gonna refer to as B came into my life almost a year ago now. she is an amazing friend, and has always been there for me. just recently i’ve told her about the things my dad does, she helped me through a lot of it & I’m grateful for having her in my life. but here’s the thing; when B dislikes someone she DISLIKES someone. it’s a very intense hatred, a week ago she stayed over at my house for a few days. she avoided my dad at all costs but at one point he made small talk with her when we were eating dinner. she left the table & went in my room to calm down for a bit, which i was confused by but apparently she was going to blow up on him if the conversation continued any further (it was just a normal conversation btw). i brushed this off. 4 days ago i got in a very big argument with my dad & i vented to her about it. every since then all she’s been texting me about is how much she hates my dad & how much he wants to beat his ass, call him out, etc. this didn’t start bothering me until yesterday when she brought up how much i’ve been sleeping (i have very bad anemia & i sleep for 16+ hours at times).  she went on about how she thinks my dad is drugging me because “he would just do that” this made me. very paranoid & i didn’t want to eat anything my dad gave me anymore. i can agree my dad is a disgusting person but i feel like her saying that was going to far. am i a bad person for being annoyed with her constant concern?  (also sorry if this isn’t enough information, i’ll add stuff later if anyone wants me to.)",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 209,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for giving my son a beer?",
    "body": "I have a 50-50 split in custody of my 17 year old son. He's turning 18 next week, on November 3rd, when he will be allowed to legally drink. His mum and him had an argument, and according to her it ended with him swearing at her and her grounding him for a month. As we alternate weeks, she has asked me to continue the grounding at my place, and when I said that I'd planned on buying him a beer to celebrate turning 18 she said that I couldn't do that while he was being grounded, and I should wait until the month was over.\n\nHowever, I have never set punishments that intrude on her time with him, I've always dealt with them in my week, and also from what she said of the argument, he was right. I know we're meant to be on the same side here but the argument, in short, from her own admission, was that he wanted to do another extracurricular with his friends and she said no because it would take away from his homework time, which I feel is an odd argument given that our son is a straight A student and can handle another extracurricular. The swear that got him grounded was when he said \"I'm not allowed to do fucking anything\", so it wasn't like he swore at her directly.\n\nI'm torn on this because while I feel the punishment doesn't fit the crime, she's also been on my back lately for making myself the \"fun parent\". I have a bit more by way of income than she does so while she has to stick to a shopping list and meal plan each week I'm able to ask our son what he wants for dinner and get takeout every now and again, and our son hasn't said anything to me but she says he's indicated to her that he prefers being with me at my place.\n\nWIBTA for breaking the grounding by giving him his first beer?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 210,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for asking someone to move their parked car out of a crosswalk?",
    "body": "For a bit of context, I take a daily walk around my neighborhood, and in order to get out of my apartment complex I have to go across a narrow and busy street.  Visibility isn't great because the street is narrow and takes a lot of twists and turns - it's often difficult to see what's around the bend.  Even using a lot of caution I have had a few close calls with drivers either not seeing me or not paying attention.\n\n​\n\nOn my way home from one of my walks, just as I'm about to cross at this crosswalk, a man pulls up directly into it, on the side of the road, and parks there.  As he exits the vehicle, I tell him that he's parked in a crosswalk.  I use the calmest tone possible as I know mistakes are easy to make; he could have just not been aware.  He tells me \"I've just been in an accident, go around\".  I look at the car, and at him, and I see no damage to the car or the man or anything serious going on.  I understand that being in an accident is still incredibly stressful and he could have had injuries that I just didn't see, even if he didn't appear to be injured.  The fact that he told me he was just in an accident is what makes me question whether I'm the asshole.  Still keeping my calm tone, I said \"Yes, but you're parked directly in a crosswalk, could you kindly pull your car forward a little bit.\"  There's a large driveway that could easily fit his car about fifteen feet ahead of him.  He continues to refuse.  I get stubborn about it because I think that it compromises my safety and the safety of others if they want to cross.  It seems trivial, but being hit by a car is definitely not trivial, and having to walk out from behind a car parked in a crosswalk, to me, definitely makes crossing in an already dangerous spot all the more dangerous.  \n\n​\n\nI take a step back so that I don't seem like I'm trying to start a confrontation with the driver and think it over.  I see a fireman who's come to assess the accident not far away, who doesn't seem to be busy.  I walk up to him and ask him if he could please ask this man to pull his car forward out of the crosswalk.  He seems hesitant, and tells me I could ask him.  I explain what just happened.  After this, he asks the gentleman to pull his car forward.  He says \"Oh, you'd like me to move forward?\" and quickly does so.  I cross and go home.\n\n​\n\nIt might seem silly but the whole interaction had me anxious to the point of shaking.  I've been cycling through whether or not I did the right thing, or I harassed a man who had just gotten into an accident unnecessarily.   So what do you guys think?  AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 211,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for banning my daughter from bringing her girlfriend to her room??",
    "body": "Hello there, I am a 50 y/o male with three wonderful children. The youngest is 17 (Fiona) and just recently got into a relationship with a nice girl in her grade (Jasmine). \n\nJasmine is very nice and I can tell she makes my daughter happy so i have no problems with them being together. \n\nJasmine and my daughter Fiona spend a lot of time at my house, usually playing video games, etc. I’m a software engineer and usually spend time in our computer room which is downstairs.\n\nYesterday Jasmine was over, and  I went into the living room to say hello but noticed neither of them were there. I went upstairs and saw my daughters room was closed with the light on so I knocked and heard some swearing and shuffling of clothes.\n\nMy daughter opens the door, fully clothed, but I could tell she had just thrown her clothes back on in a hurry. I said hello to jasmine and quickly left back to the computer room. Shortly afterwards Jasmine left and my daughter tried to leave as well but I called her into the room.\n\nI told her that while I like Jasmine a lot and am happy for her that i don’t want her having sex in my house until she is at least 18, and that her and jasmine can’t be alone in her room anymore.  My daughter flips out and calls me homophobic and that I don’t respect her privacy. She stormed upstairs and slammed the door shut and refuses to talk to me. \n\nMy wife came home and when I told her what had happened she called me an asshole and that if I banned her from having sex here she would just do it somewhere else.\n\nI know that I probably should’ve set boundaries when they first got together but I want her to be sure she’s making a good decision and I’m worried that she’s not that educated on sex with another girl yet. AITA here? If so how do I fix it ??\n\n\nUPDATE: Thank you to everyone who responded just thought I’d update with the current situation and clarify a bit. \n\nThe rules I set for my daughter also applied for her older siblings and they would be the same if she was dating a boy. However I am aware that if I don’t let them have sex here they probably will do it somewhere else which worries me even more. \n\nI sat my daughter down and explained to her that I would prefer for her to be 18 before doing anything but that she is almost an adult and capable of making her own decisions. I made sure to let her know that if she wanted to and if she was happy that It would be fine in my house. Just..not when I’m literally downstairs.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 212,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA I got mad at my aunt interupting my phone call.",
    "body": "      So I was at my grandma's house and my mom called. My aunt and Grandpa both \"jokingly\" commentated about how since I'm a teenager I'm always on my phone. I got mad and yelled at them that I was on the phone and my mom hung up because she couldn't hear me. I felt like it was rude but when I went to apologize my aunt decided that there was nothing wrong with \"jokingly\" interuping a phone call. I fell like there is no exeption to interrupt somebodys phone call or not. Am I the asshole or is my aunt the asshole? ",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 213,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for planning my husbands birthday the way I did?",
    "body": "So our family has been going through a bit of a stressful situation that I can’t detail, but it’s been putting a lot of pressure on my husband. So of course he is busy trying to make the right decisions for us, and can’t really be bothered with making other types of decisions. I tried to talk to him about what he would like to do for his birthday and he just couldn’t give me any answers. Fair enough, I totally get that. So I decide to make plans for him myself.\n\nWe have three kids. Oldest is 7 and youngest is 7 months. We can’t exactly do things on a whim and need to definitely plan it out in advance, especially if we want to do it without the kids.\n\nSo I decide to get a sitter for Friday evening (he works Sat-Wed). I got REALLY nice tickets to a local baseball game (which he LOVES to attend!) I asked him BEFORE I bought the tickets if this is a good idea and he said “yes thanks!” GREAT! Green light given!\n\nThen I remembered that it’s my Dad’s birthday too (their birthdays are 4 days a part). They get along pretty well. So I figured, hey maybe two birds one stone? Neither my dad or husband like to be fussed about on their birthdays but definitely appreciate doing a little thing. So I asked husband if he would mind if I had my dad tag along with us for the game. He said he didn’t care. I asked again, and said “This first and foremost is your birthday present, so I just want to make sure you are OK with this, it’s your decision” and he just kind of brushed it off again. I asked again a few days later. He responded he didn’t care again. Alright, he can’t be bothered to make these little decisions and he says he doesn’t care, so I invited my dad. \n\nMy dad is VERY excited about going to the game too. So I set up the baby sitter for the kids. I work until 5. Sitter comes at 6. Game starts at 7. \n\nTomorrow is the game. This morning, husband said to me “How about we skip the game, and go to dinner and a movie instead?” I asked why. He said “The game doesn’t start until 7, it probably won’t end until 9. I have to be up early for work” I said “Okay but I am not sure how dinner and a movie would get us home earlier? We don’t have a sitter until 6. And I already got the tickets to the game. And I already invited my dad”. \n\nHis face dropped. He said “I thought that was MY decision?” I said “Well it was, but you just kept saying you didn’t care, and I figured you really didn’t care, so I invited him”\n\nHe stopped talking and just said “k”. I can tell he is upset. I said “I’m sorry but I did try to ask what you wanted. I had to make a decision and this was what I decided.” And he just continued to not respond to me (yes this was in PERSON) and then I had to go to work. So we haven’t been able to talk since.\n\nNow I can’t help but feel like an asshole.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 214,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for refusing the be at my work station 5 min before my shift starts?",
    "body": "English isn't my first language, and I'm on mobile, and autocorrect can be an ass, so apologies for any mistakes.\n\n\nHey folks,\n\n\nI know this might sound like a really minor and nitpicky issue, but it's annoying me a great deal.\n\n\nI'm a student, I've got a part time job of 10-20 hours a week next to my studies. In my country, it's normal (I think in general, but at least as far as I know for teen/student jobs) to ask them to be in 10-5 min before their shifts start.\n\n\nThis is extremely annoying to me. The reason my employer wants me to be in 5 min early is so that the colleague I'm taking over from can inform me about anything I need to know that happened so far that day and to discuss tasks that need to be done. However, the way I see it, if I have to be there 5 min early for that, then that is _work_ time.\n\n\nI try to arrive on time (as in, 5 min before the official start of my shift) but often I end up being there, idk, 2-4 min before the start (I never am at my work station later than my official start time). However, my colleagues will sometimes complain to me that I'm not 5 min early, and as a result they 'have to stay a few min longer to still discuss the stuff with me' (although, this rarely takes more than a minute to talk about). I'm not exaggerating when I say that me being not exactly 5 min early has almost never resulted in a colleague staying a bit later, and in the (max 3-5 over the last half year) cases that it has, it might have been 1-2 min.\n\n\nIm not claiming their time is less valueable than mine. My point is rather that if anyone has to stay longer for their work (be it me coming 5 min early for the shift transfer, or them 'staying later' for the shift transfer) they should get paid for their time.\n\n\nIn terms of monetary impact, I have on average 3 shifts per week I think. 3x5min = 15 min. 15*45(random, low estimate of weeks) =675 min =11 hours. That'd be around 150 euro a year that I'd be missing out on. Might not seem like much, but it's (obviously) mainly about the principle, and for a student €150 is still quite a nice amount.\n\n\nSo, I just cant really be bothered to make the effort to show up early enough to be at my station exactly 5min early. \n\n\nAITA to my colleagues for not always showing up exactly on time?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 215,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for pronouncing French words like I would in French?",
    "body": "Hi Reddit,\n\nLongtime lurker, bear with me please!\n\nBackground: I speak French fluently because I went to French school (in the USA, 90% of the curriculum was exclusively in French) from PreK-12th grade. A lot of my friends are French, and to date we still speak in French when we get together(I'm in my late 20s for context). My parents, while not French, live in France, and I visit them at least once a year. I have French extended family. I watch French TV, read in French, and just generally have French stuff happening around me because it has been part of my life since I can remember.\n\nI don't bring this up randomly to people, bc I think that would be kind of douchey to unnecessarily volunteer this info that is irrelevant to my day to day life. However, all my close friends know about my connection to French/France, and laugh at me when I get drunk and can't remember certain words in ENGLISH.\n\nOnto the issue...this past Sunday, I met up with a new(ish) friend for dinner & drinks. Things were going fine, until she asked me what I had done that weekend, to which I replied \"I made crêpes for breakfast yesterday (Saturday).\" I pronounced the word \"crêpes\" the way I learned to say it and the way I routinely say it, which phonetically sounds kinda like \"cr-epp-s.\" She proceeded to ask me what those were, and I told her they were French, thin pancakes that you can eat with butter and sugar (like I did) or with more elaborate fillings. \n\nShe then went on to say, oh, do you mean, \"cray-ps?\" (in the typical American pronunciation.) I said yes, exactly! She looked super confused, then weirdly offended, and proceeded to ask me why I felt the \"need\" to sound so \"pretentious\" when talking about them. I replied saying I wasn't being pretentious, I was just pronouncing this food the way a) it is pronounced by the people who routinely make/eat it, b) the way I routinely say it, since I speak French. She then stated that I should be pronouncing French foods the \"American\" way when I speak about it in America, and not doing so is rude and stuck-up. I said I didn't agree, told her I've always pronounced it that way, then resumed our conversation. Dinner was a little awkward from there on out. \n\nReddit, AITA? I don't feel like this is any different from a Polish-speaking person pronouncing pierogi in Polish, or a Spanish-speaking person pronouncing mole in Spanish. I would get it if I was pretending to sound like I knew the word, but I told her that I speak the damn language! I wouldn't be super bummed if this person didn't become a long-term friend, but I just feel weird about this whole situation.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 216,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for arguing with my dad for suggesting I help out my cousin?",
    "body": "I work for a social media marketing company that usually helps restaurants all over the U.S. improve their online presence and translate Internet traffic into foot traffic in store with the onset of things like foodies on Instagram. My dad knows about this and we often discuss how my work day goes and such. \n\nRecently, a cousin from my dad’s side opened a cafe and my dad suggested that I help run their social media since they would probably need some assistance getting the cafe exposure. I told him I agreed that good social media marketing would help get the cafe some legs to stand on but that I wouldn’t do it for free. My dad got a little upset by this and asked why not? I replied that I would essentially be doing free labor for them, and that I wouldn’t have the benefit of a lot of the resources I have with my job that helps me balance running multiple clients’ social media. \n\nHe said that helping my cousin would be good practice for my job and that if things worked out for them, they could help me get exposure for my work with other businesses; he thinks that would lead to me being able to start my own social media marketing company. I stood firm with my argument that I would still essentially be performing free labor for them, but that I would be willing to help them as a sort of consultant since they’re family. However, he was still upset that I wouldn’t help run their social media as a favor because they’re family and so he ended the argument with a huff. \n\nI understand that he was just bringing up the suggestion as a way to possibly help me with my job and advance my career and that it wasn’t a definitive thing, but it seemed like he was just oversimplifying the fact that I would be working for my cousin for free. \n\nAITA for arguing with my dad for suggesting that I work for my cousin?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 217,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for agreeing that she needs therapy?",
    "body": "So, my significant other has been going through a lot of stresses. Between a new job, a new child and a big move coming up, there’s a lot going on. She recently has been having breakdowns with a lot of crying, self-loathing and the occasional snap at me. I get it and I’m pretty easy going most of the time. \n\nSo tonight, she sat down with me after she took a shower and said “I think I need to get help.” I responded with “Like, therapy?” And she said yes. So I then told her “I agree, I’ve noticed everything going on lately and I think it’ll help a lot.” The instant I said that, she blew up, said that I was an ass and she went to bed without saying a word to me. \n\nDid I do something wrong? I’m with her every day and support her every time one of these breakdowns happen, I figured that I’d be the first person to notice aside from her. Am I the asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 218,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For calling a friends Fiance 'Weak Fiance' ?",
    "body": "I have a friend who I usually speak to, and his fiance usually gives me hate on a daily basis whenever my friend mentions me.\n\n​\n\nToday, I had told him he had a 'Weak Fiance' and he flipped, he said that was an Insult.\n\n​\n\nAfterwords, the reason why he flipped was because a past i did not know of his Fiance (health wise)\n\n​\n\nAm I the bad guy here?  \n\n\nI feel, 'Weak Fiance' is basically, calling them weak. That's it.\n\n​\n\nAnd he tells me it's bad, to make me feel guilty, and also his Fiance. For not knowing about it.\n\n​",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 219,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for sleeping with someone 3 weeks after a relationship ended?",
    "body": "I'm on mobile, so I'll try to keep this concise and not include any unnecessary details. Apologies for any less-than-ideal formatting.\n\nMy ex-girlfriend (age 18) and I (age 17) had been dating for a little over a year. It was the first long,  serious relationship for both of us. However, due to her leaving for college at the end of the summer and an agreement that a long-distance relationship wasn't for us, we both agreed to break up. She's a coworker at one of my jobs, and we still got along fine and were generally friendly. I figured it was great that we were still friendly and all was well.\n\n3 weeks after we broke up, one of my friends had a party. My friend invited one of my ex's friends, and my ex asks if she can come too (she knew I was at the party). After giving it some thought I decide that's not a good idea and my friend politely says that since I'm here he'd prefer not to make it awkward and for her not to come. Neither her or her friend showed up, and the party was fine.\n\nAt the party, I became intoxicated and slept with another girl (age 17 who works at the job where my ex and I both work). This was a pretty fucking stupid idea. I think that I don't regret the act, but I very much regret the things that occurred from it.\n\nIt was rather naive of me to assume that my ex girlfriend wouldn't find out about this. A day or so after, I received a text from her asking if I had slept with the other girl. I decided to be completely honest and told her that I had. Apparently she had found out at work when the other girl had told another coworker. She went off on me, saying that I was the worst human ever, that she hates me and wishes she had never met me, and that I should never contact her or see her in person again. I also got flak from her brother, who texted me later saying how stupid and insensitive I was.\n\nWhen I was at the party, I thought that such a thing would be a moral gray area at worst. I figured that I wouldn't really be upset if she did something like that (especially since she had mentioned at work to me that she was already getting hit on by several people), so she wouldn't really be bothered if I did it. Looking back on it, I know she probably still had feelings for me, and that I really offended her and devalued our whole relationship, which wasn't my intent at all. I cherish the relationship that we had and it holds a special place in my heart, and it hurts me to see that in her and her family's mind I pissed away a year of respect and love in an act that occurred 3 weeks after we broke up. This is where my deep regret lies, and it's probably the thing I regret the most so far in my life.\n\nIn addition to a broken relationship with her and her brother, she told her parents about it (who used to really like me), and they told mine. Her parents told my parents to tell me to stay away from both of them, which really stung. I'm facing a lot of repercussions for my dumbassery that I feel like I deserve. My parents are having me resign from my job that she works at, as well.\n\nI don't really know what to think about this. Was my initial interpretation of the whole situation assholeish? Am I an asshole, or is this blown out of proportion? I imagine it's some of both, but I would much appreciate an outsider's perspective as I move forward with this and try to become a better person.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 220,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not standing up during \"God Bless America\"?",
    "body": "Background: I live in the middle of the bible belt.  The area is also patriotic to the point of nearly being nationalistic. \n\nOur local minor league baseball team often brings in singers to sing God Bless America in the middle of the 7th inning. \n\nThey announce the performers and ask everyone to stand, and gentlemen remove their caps. \n\nI feel that the National Anthem is worthy of standing and removing hats, but GBA is literally just another song. I believe that giving the song the same respect of the National Anthem dilutes the respect that the NA deserves.  And, frankly, as an athiest, I have a big problem standing for a song that claims a higher power should favor our country over all others. \n\nAt tonight's game, I did not stand. I got several dirty looks and felt very uncomfortable.\n\nAITA for not standing during the song?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 221,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for hiding in a bedroom at a party?",
    "body": "I recently went to a party that turned out to be a lot more rowdy and larger than I thought. Some of the girls were getting a bit handsy and I am socially awkward so I hid in a bedroom at the house where there was no one else. Unfortunately I fell asleep in the bed and had to sneak out later. I tidied up the bed after but I feel bad for sleeping in someone’s room like that. I am thinking of sending the house owner an apology note.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 222,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for thinking My Boss should ask a regular customer not to return?",
    "body": "I  am a night-shift employee at a fairly small gas station and convenience  store in a VERY small town (Less than 500 people small.) This gas station usually plays host to a group of older men in the mornings who like to come play cribbage and drink coffee that the management gives them for free.\n\nOne  particular man, who for the rest of the post will be referred to as M,  has never worked for our location, nor any other location in our chain. However, He constantly speaks to myself and the other younger  members of our staff as though he is our supervisor. When he isn't doing  this, he is simply making rude or snide comments about us either  directly to us or to the others in his group.\n\nSimply put, M comes in every day, and after he's done with cribbage, fills our coolers if something is low. He has to go back into what would normally be employee only areas to do this most of the time, and is very nasty to the rest of the staff about it.\n\nWith  all the context out of the way, I go in to work one day to find that the general manager had  to come in to cover the morning shift.  We switch tills, and while the GM is  going back to take midday count of her till and our slot machine payout  funds, M comes up to me and tells me, word for word, \"Now I went around  and filled up all those coolers, and they'd BETTER look like that when I  come in in the morning.\"\n\nFrustrated, I  go to the GM and essentially  said that I'm sick of M speaking to me like he's my boss, and that he  shouldn't really be doing anything that he does around here in the first  place, even if it can be helpful sometimes. My boss, likely frustrated  already considering she shouldn't have had to be there that day, told me  that she was thrust into that shift, and that they were swamped in the  morning, so he was just helping her out. I told him what he had said to  me and she told me, quote, \"It's not always about you. And sometimes  people on the night shift, not you, but people on the night shift leave  the coolers empty. Ron's just being helpful so you'll just have to learn  to ignore him.\" I decided not to press further after that, frustrated.\n\nWithin this statement,  there's the implication that I, as practically the only night shift  worker we have, do not fill the coolers properly at night. I fill the  coolers to the point where they look full every night before I leave,  but if there are three or more bottle in a row, or the cans/bottles are  large and bulky like Arizona tea cans or tall 38 oz cans, I typically  leave them. I also don't fill the rows completely, because as stated  above, pushing the bottles/cans all the way to the back results in them  falling behind the shelves entirely, or makes the more top heavy bottles  fall over and out of the coolers when they're meant to slide down.\n\nSo  Long Story short, I think M should be asked not to return to the store. AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 223,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for leaving my mom's house when I found dog shit in my room and room torn apart.",
    "body": "I have parent separation, and I live at my dad's but go to my mom's house every other weekend. First of all my mom was in a horrible mood and was being negative about everything and anything. When we got to the house I went into my room to set my stuff down, like I always do. When I walk in my bedsheets were torn off and scattered on the floor, stuff that had once been on shelves were on my bed mattress or on the floor. Oh yeah, there was also dog shit in the middle of my floor, I do not blame the dog at all because he is a puppy, and I love him to death. Looked about 1 day old and I just curious as to what the hell was going on. I go to my mom and ask, \"Why is my room in disorder\" (not verbatim, but I asked in a positive manner). She kind of just shrugged and then I asked if the door could just stay shut while I'm gone. She responded in a poor way, that this was her house and if she wanted to utilize the room while I'm gone, she could. I agree with this but not when you trash it instead of utilizing it. \n\nShe left for work in an hour, and I'm sitting here in my trashed room and I just think, nah, I don't have to deal with this right now. I call my dad and ask if can pick me up whenever that night, no rush. He does about 3 hours later, I grab a few things and then out the door I was, my oldest brother was there and I told him what happened and he just nodded and let me out the door. I didn't contact my mom for a few days, as to make a point. She never contacted me either, until 2 weeks later. She asked how I was doing and that was that, we made up.. Eventually. \n\nAm I the asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 224,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for leaving my mom home while she’s sick",
    "body": "My moms been sick the past couple days, the first day she needed to rest in bed all day and I stayed with her and watched my brother, but yesterday I needed to get a bunch of stuff done, i had a doctors appointment, I’m switching banks for college, I’m working on a name change and I need to drop some stuff off for a friend who’s leaving for college in a couple days and I don’t have access to a car right now so that’s like an hour long bike ride and I have work tonight.\n\nShe seemed really upset and was telling me that she wished I cared more and stayed with her because she was scared of being alone while she’s sick \n\n\nI felt bad leaving my mom, since she does seem really sick, but the way I see it is I’m not really doing anything fun, I’m doing stuff I have to get done and if I neglected this stuff for another day then I might not finish it all before school starts. If I was just hanging out with friends I would understand her anger but even though she’s sick I have stuff I need to get done",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 225,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not tipping more than 10% for pickup orders?",
    "body": "We like to order food but eat it at home in front of a movie, so we place a lot of takeout orders from places that people regularly also dine in. Several months ago we placed an order and I went to pick it up. I’d never seen this waitress before, but she looked at me as she gave me the check and said, “Just so you know, I make my money all on tips.” I was a little taken aback, because I normally just leave about 10% since all they did was put it in a bag and sometimes they take the order too, but no drinks or other services were done. Fast forward to yesterday, I picked up some food and left $3 on a $20 order and I got the nastiest look. I looked on Google and there are lots of mixed answers- no real “norm” so to speak. What’s your take?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 226,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not wanting my in-laws to visit so often",
    "body": "My fiancé got a job overseas (3 hour flight away from home) for a year and I moved with him since we have a nine month old baby. Everything was going ok but I’m starting to get a little upset about how often my in-laws are visiting. They have come up so far in January and February and they also booked two weeks in March, after originally telling us they were coming for one week. I love them dearly and I normally get along with them well, but I do feel like this is a bit of an imposition since they are staying in our very small flat and my own parents specifically try not to come up too often so they don’t disturb our routine (they’ve only planned to come up once for three days).\n\nI asked my fiancé to be sure that they do not come for such a long time again as I feel like it should be up to him to broach the topic with them. He agreed initially that they are visiting very often  but last time I brought it up he got annoyed and refused to discuss it. I have decided not to say anything about March visit to them directly as I don’t want to come across as an asshole who is denying them access to their grandchild- but I’m feeling a bit of resentment here. We Skype regularly and I know the reason they come up so often is because they miss their grandchild so much however when they stay here it severely curtails our sex life (which is just starting to get back on track again post baby)\n\nFull disclosure- they insist on paying for everything while they’re here so my issues are not financial strain. However I feel awkward doing the shopping when I know they are going to pay and I am a bit of an introvert who cherishes my time alone. Help! AITA",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 227,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I quit taking care of my neighbors pets?",
    "body": "I’m a freshman in high school and I started taking care of my neighbors pets around two weeks ago. My neighbor is close friends with my mom and she recently started working again. With work and her daughter she doesn’t really have time to take care of her pets. So for about 45 minutes every day except for Friday and the weekend she pays me $8 to come over and feed her pets and clean their cages. \n\nI joined marching band over the summer and next year I want to play the quads. I’ve been practicing a lot(2-3 hours at least two times a week and a little bit more when I have time) and I think I will make it. With this and a lot more homework than I got in middle school I don’t have a lot of free time. I want to be able to practice more and I want to be able to have some more free time cause I think that’s important so that I’m not as stressed out. However I would feel bad for leaving my neighbor without a pet sitter. So AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 228,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA for taking my professor to the dean of the building?",
    "body": "My professor had decided to do something unconventional this semester which was to give us our work and to grade it ourselves. He told us that if we had an A in the class then we would not have to take the final. After I finished grading all my papers I believed that I had an A in the class. I had all the points i have earned divided by the possible points i could have earned to receive an A Which is great so I didnt have to take the final.   \n\nI received an email from him telling me \"As per the syllabus, you have earned an A grade in the course. Your superlative performance relieves you from taking the final in the course as scheduled.\" So i decided to pack all my things since I had no more finals and to head home. I received another email form him telling me my math was wrong and my new grade is about an 80% and I need to show up for the final tomorrow or Ill receive a 0. Which was kinda hard since I live four hours away from the college and already started my summer job.\n\nHe basically said that I had to show up, no matter what I said. Honestly, Im kinda pissed especially how he made us grade all our papers and now hes saying that I messed up? Would I be the asshole if I took him to the dean?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 229,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for bailing on helping an old lady?",
    "body": "This was a while ago but I'm curious what Reddit has to say. I'm in my 20s, and I'm friends with this elderly woman from my hometown. She told me her friend, K, who is about the same age as her, needed help with some internet stuff and asked if I'd do it as a favor. I was unemployed at the time so I said sure.\n\nI went over to see what K needed. K was pretty grumpy and a very avid trump supporter, which my friend did not think to warn me about. I am gay and was living in a small town so this is a group of people I generally try to avoid. K didn't say anything rude to me but I was pretty tense. She basically needed help putting her small business up for sale on a couple local sale boards, would not have taken me a long time at all. She gave me some of her basic information and we planned a day where I could sit down and help her.\n\nThat day comes around, I text K to ask if we're still meeting, she tells me she's busy and to plan another day. This happens one or two times. Eventually I lose contact with her. Then I start a new full time job and am not around my hometown very often anymore. She texts me after a month asking if I can still help her. I basically told her no I am busy with work now and blocked her number, never heard from her again. My old lady friend has never brought it up to me again, so I think she may have forgotten.\n\nSo Reddit, AITA? I feel like I could have handled the situation better.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 230,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for wanting to speak up about pervasive history of my sister in laws new boyfriend?",
    "body": "My sister in law has been dating this guy for a couple months. She kept it under wraps for awhile, little hints here and there that she was dating. Had no clue it was a guy I used to work with. We went to her sons bday party this last weekend and he was there with her and the first time my husband and I have seen them together. \nI used to work with this guy for almost 3 years and I know A LOT about him, including some not so good things, one of those being that he’s a bully to women. We don’t get along. \nHe recently got divorced, has two kids, and sister in law is divorced with two kids, similar in age. \nSo when I first started working with him, he was my first “trainer” meaning he was showing me the ropes of the register/store/how to stock etc. He criticized me on Day 2 for “not being more like him and to speak up louder when talking to people,” mind you he’s a grown man and I’m a grown woman. I didn’t appreciate the comment, and nonetheless it created palpable tension from the get go as I simply told him “I cannot be like you, everyone has their own style.” He didn’t like that I responded at all.\nFlash forward to one year later, and another female coworker confided in me that herself and the guy in question has been sleeping together for years. She told me intrepid details that I could’ve lived without, like what his playlist consists of when they have sex-but she was seeking advice in how to end it because she felt like a home wrecker. Mind you-he’s married this whole time. Their relationship is still going today as far as I know, and I know this because I have very good friends who still work there, and see them together all the time. Also, they take trips together, and accidentally give away that they are going together-by giving away details to coworkers of their “separate” trip that they’re actually taking together. \nThe final crux of our relationship ended at work when he came up behind me, leaned into my ear (I was distracted as I had just rung up a customer) and YELLED my full name into my ear. I have VERY sensitive ears, and my instinct was to elbow whoever it was immediately. I didn’t put it together until after I elbowed him in the throat, that it was him and not some crazy customer trying to mess with me. He went to the manager and complained, to which I just relayed my side of the story, and they wrote it off. Didn’t write him up, didn’t really do anything but tell him to stop. Better than nothing I guess. I was livid, and discontinued talking to him for the remainder of my time there while still keeping it cordial saying hi and bye on occasion. \nHere’s my question-AITA if I say something to the sister in law or her mother about him being a bully, womanizer, and serial cheater? My husband has already said that the guy had a bad reputation to his mother, but I don’t feel like that’s enough, without details. \n\nTLDR-sister in law is dating a bully, and serial cheater and I want to warn her of his behavior before she finds out the hard way.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 231,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for implementing a strict food policy at work?",
    "body": "For context, my workplace is a very small (about 100ft^2 or ~9.3m^2) outbuilding, and only accommodates 2 people (three is stretching it) people at a time. We only have about 5 people who work throughout the week, so it’s a very small department both in terms of space and people.\n\nRecently I have been absolutely disgusted by the way my coworkers leave our space. Food in boxes and bags left for weeks at a time until it expires. Drinks untouched after a few swallows. Fresh fruit left rotting in the back room. And that’s just the uneaten stuff. I think I’m the only one who sweeps or mops spills off the floor and cleans off the counters and desk.\n\nI have been asking nicely for everyone to clean up after themselves and to not leave food in the building unless they really need to do so (one person is diabetic) for over six months. Yet everything I listed before was still a regular occurrence. And so I finally broke. I’m tired of cleaning up other people’s messes when they are too lazy to clean up after themselves after repeatedly being asked to do so.\n\nSo I instituted a new food policy. If you leave food in the building after you leave and it is unopened, it will be put on a shelf for you to collect. If it hasn’t been collected or opened by the end of the week, it’s thrown out. If open food or fresh fruit is left behind, it gets thrown out the next day. The same goes for drinks.\n\nI think this is fair, but everyone who works here is saying this is way too harsh, and I am out of line. AITA here?\n\nEDIT: I made an exception for our diabetic coworker, since they need quick access to certain foods; they have a designated area to leave their food and drink. And over the summer, we have a cooler with communal cold drinks (Gatorade and water, mostly).\n\nEDIT2: I am the department head",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 232,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA For not wanting my roommate to throw a \"k\" party?",
    "body": "Am I the asshole for absolutely NOT wanting a kink party thrown at my house? I'm willing to compromise on some things but if I am home I do not want that kind of party going on. I am not comfortable being around the activities that go on at kink parties. I'm not lgbtq+ phobic by any means. I am just very vanilla and very uncomfortable around crass or erotic behaviors. I believe if someone behaves a way that I am uncomfortable with in public or in a private residence then it's my responsibility to leave because I'm the one uncomfortable. Shine on guys but I'm going to go somewhere else. But I can't do that if a full on party is being thrown at my house. And I think they're the asshole for expecting me to not have a say, hole up in my room or leave the house. It's my house too. \n\nI'm fine to compromise. Hey schedule it on an evening that I'll be at work. Just make sure the mess is cleaned up the next day and my bedroom door will be locked while I am gone that day. \n\nHow would you all handle it. Am I the asshole?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 233,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for telling my coworker to not cut his nails at work",
    "body": "I work with this FOB Chinese guy. Many issues going on here but recently, I finally got the courage to tell him to stop fucking cutting his nails at work. Every time he does it, everyone cringes and looks at each other, and I finally had enough when his nail shrapnel flew near me. \n\nAll I said was that I'd appreciate it if he cut his nails in the bathroom or even better, do it at home. It is pretty gross to hear the clipping and even more disgusting to see it. He got really defensive and said that he doesn't notice his nail length at home, only when he gets into the office. \n\nA few days later, he's clipping again, and all I said this time was \"dude, come on\". His defense? I put on chapstick and eye drops at my desk, why can't he cut his nails? I told him that chapstick and eye drops don't fly onto his desk. He can't seem to understand what he's doing is gross.\n\nSide note, I'm Chinese American and he is constantly talking about politics, especially the HK-China tension. Most of my family is from HK so everything he's saying about exterminating HKers is very offensive to me. I finally reported his nail cutting and offensive HK comments to HR. \n\nMy boss gets wind of this and meets with us separately. He is on my side, and says this guy is weird. However, he cannot let him go because my complaints are not egregious enough to get him fired. Apparently, comments about exterminating my people are not enough.\n\nFOB guy takes this as a win and yesterday, he actually rolled closer to clip his nails closer to me. In response, I whip out a nail filer and start filing it in his vicinity. Not my finest moment but it had to be done. AITA for not wanting my coworker to cut his nails at work?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 234,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for eating peanut butter around my friend who is severely allergic to peanuts?",
    "body": "I’m in high school, and I eat with lunch with the same group of friends everyday. One of the friends, we’ll call her Abigail, has a severe peanut allergy. Not to the extent where she can’t be in the same room as peanut products, but she has to avoid skin contact and obviously no consumption. I eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches relatively frequently during lunch, probably about once or twice a week.  Abigail has told me that when peanuts or peanut butter are near her, her face gets itchy and she begins to feel uncomfortable. She says that's the extent of it though, and its not a true allergic reaction.\n\nAlmost every time I’m eating peanut butter, she says something along the lines of “I can feel that you’re eating peanut butter”, kind of jokingly, but, I think, also kind of annoyed. I always apologize and she just says “it’s okay”, but I don’t know how much she actually cares. We have a great friendship otherwise and nothing about peanuts, peanut butter, or allergies is every brought up outside of lunch time.\n\nI don’t want to make her feel itchy and uncomfortable, but I love peanuts and peanut butter is a staple of my lunches. If she was having a true allergic reaction I clearly would stop eating peanuts around her, but since it just makes her feel uncomfortable itchy, I haven’t stopped.\n\nAITA for eating peanut butter around her when it clearly bothers her?\n\n​\n\nEDIT:  She experiences no physical reaction from the smell (eg. no hives) and has never even considered using her epi-pen from just the smell.  She would only need the epi-pen if she consumed peanuts.  I have offered to eat my peanut butter elsewhere, but she has said I don't have to, that she doesn't really mind.  I don't know how truthful she is about that last part though...",
    "is_asshole": 1
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 235,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I applied for a job my brother has made clear is one of his dream jobs?",
    "body": "My brother and I are in the same profession. We are both unhappy at our current jobs and have both been actively applying for other jobs. So far, we haven’t applied for any of the same, however my brother said he didn’t want to apply for any that I already had applied for. For context, my brother has definitely had a harder time with his current employer and has struggled on and off with mental health as a result. He’s all good now and has been for the past year.\n\nAnyway, a job came up and I usually apply for them as soon as I see them, but this one I didn’t as I was unwell and couldn’t think straight. My brother brought up this job to me and asked me if I saw it - I said yes, although I haven’t applied yet. My brother then proceeded to tell me that this employer was one of his top choices of employers and it would be a dream to work there. He never asked me not to apply.\n\nSo I’m a bit torn. I know he really wants to work there, I don’t really want to be in competition with him and there’s no guarantee either of us would even get a look in anyway. However, I’m also not happy at my current workplace and I really want to apply, even if my brother does.\n\nWIBTA if I applied anyway knowing my brother wants this job?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 236,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for pouring cold water on my husband in the shower?",
    "body": "So this happened yesterday morning but my husband is still upset with me about it. Yesterday morning my husband was messing with me in small ways. Shooting hair ties at me, messing up the bed after I had just made it, and the cherry on top was locking me out of the car for about 5 minutes and slow driving and making me walk to the car while laughing.  In all honesty all of these are super funny and we do them to each other pretty often so I wasn’t a poor sport about it. Well last night when he got in the shower I decided to pour a cup of cold water on him to get back at him for messing with me all morning. I didn’t do it to make him upset but just to continue the back and forth teasing. \n\nWell he didn’t take it well at all and got super mad about it and is still annoyed about it this morning. It was only 16 oz of cold water. He said I took things to far. I told him locking me out of the car at the grocery store and slowing driving while making me walk next to the car could also be considered “too far” but we do this stuff to each other all the time. I think he’s just being a baby about it but he’s adamant I was an asshole for doing it.  So AITA?",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 237,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA telling someone I know that they're child is being abused",
    "body": "This happened about a year ago but it still weighs on my conscience and now that I've been asked if we can put it behind us I want to know where I stand morally.\n\nAt a family event, a distant relative's kid(10 yrs old) was saying that her new step dad was always swearing at her. She also said that she was pushed up against a wall and told that she wasn't wanted (all with a semi smile / semi concerned look). The mother and the rest of the family was there and no one really batted an eye. The step dad wasn't there. On top of this, I heard the mother say in front of the kid that \"you were great until you started talking\", \"go away\", \"I don't want you here\". \n\nI admit the kid is known to be annoying but apparently at school they are very well behaved. It's only at home that they behave 'like this'. \n\nAs all of this was happening I was getting angrier and angrier. I realised that if I didn't leave I was going to say something. I got up and quickly grabbed my things to leave, but on the way out the mother looked offended and shocked and asked if she did something. I snapped and said that what she is doing is abuse, that the kid is being abused. It sort of exploded after that (she kept on screaming that since I'm not a parent I have no right to say anything) but I think I just dissociated and stood there still and crying. I left once a family member ushed me out because I certainly wasn't able to do anything on my own.\n\nSo reddit, AITA? Should I just have said nothing? Am I the asshole for just trying to leave? \nThanks.",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 238,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA - Fighting with my S/O (LDR)",
    "body": "So basically, I am in an LDR with this guy which means our only means of communication is through social media apps like SC and others. This morning, I greeted my s/o with the usual good morning text and all that as what I usually do in our relationship. While doing this, I noticed a pattern that has been happening most of the time. It seems that I am ALWAYS the one who makes the first move in all of our conversations. Is it wrong that I also want him to make the first move once in awhile? He was really nice when we were first starting out (first couple of days) but now, our conversations are as dry as the sahara desert. My back is starting to hurt with all the carrying that I do in our convos (figuratively at least lol). I tried to talk to him about it but he just won't listen at all and would even try to shut me down\n\nNote: we've only been dating for about a few weeks",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 239,
  "fields": {
    "title": "AITA for not giving my phone to a stranger?",
    "body": "So I'm sitting outside on the lawn having a cigarette and this teen bikes up me an asks to \"borrow my phone to call and tell his boss that hell be late\"  its Sunday and no work uniform.\n\nI say no thanks.  He calls me a \"fucking prick\" and a twat (I think) as he bikes away.\n\nThis is a less affluent part of town,  to me borrow means hand me your $600 phone with confidential info on it,  he is already on a get away vehicle that I couldn't catch.\n\n\nMaybe if he asked to make a call for him it might be different....",
    "is_asshole": 0
  }
},
{
  "model": "AITA.post",
  "pk": 240,
  "fields": {
    "title": "WIBTA if I refuse to wear a bridesmaid dress my friend (the bride) has chosen",
    "body":